The Rainbow
by addicted-to-romione-bedward
Summary: Socially awkward twink, Edward, meets Jasper, the manwhore, in front of Rainbow club. Edward tries everything in his power to change Jasper's ways and show him the wonders of a relationship. Written for Fandom Against Juvenile Diabetes.
1. Chapter 1

**Pen name: **addicted-to-romione-bedward

**Title: **The Rainbow

**Fandom: **Twilight

**Pairing: **Edward/Jasper

**Rating: **M

**Beta: **harrytwifan

**Banner Maker: **addicted-to-romione-bedward

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything Twilight related, not even the general idea really since the story is inspired by Queer as Folk.

**Summary: **Socially awkward twink, Edward, meets Jasper, the manwhore, in front of Rainbow club. Edward tries everything in his power to change Jasper's ways and show him the wonders of a relationship. Written for Fandom Against Juvenile Diabetes.

**Warnings: **slash (boyxboy loving)

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**I'd like to dedicate this to Nancy, my amazing beta! It's her birthday and this is probably the only way I could thank her...through writing. Damn, living on the wrong continent. So Happy Birthday, hon! I know how much you love these boys.**

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_Watch that man! Oh honey, watch that man  
He talks like a jerk but he could eat you with a fork and  
spoon  
Watch that man! Oh honey, watch that man  
He walks like a jerk  
But he's only taking care of the room  
Must be in tune_

**David Bowie – Watch That Man**

"Holy fuck!"

"If you say that one more time…" Bella threatened, shaking her finger.

"I can't stop!" I grinned, keeping my arm around her shoulders.

"Well, let's see…" She finally caved to my pathetic behavior. "You're grinning like a lunatic, you're blushing like hell, you've been walking funny all morning, and you're wearing yesterday's clothes—you got laid!"

I glanced around the cafeteria, trying to conceal the permanent smile on my face…in vain.

"You can say that." I tried to act nonchalant, when on the inside I was bursting to tell her everything.

"Who's the lucky one?" she asked, sweeping her eyes around the room. "Not any of these losers, right?"

"Puh-lease, girl!" I rolled my eyes. "They don't know, remember?" I shook my head at her silliness. "Anyway," I dragged the word, leaning into her side.

"Tell me, Edward," Bella urged impatiently.

"Are you aware of the club Rainbow?" I bit my lip nervously.

"Every gay person knows of it. Not that I'm gay. Not that being gay is a bad thing. Ungh." She giggled, embarrassed. "You've been talking about it for ages."

I beamed at her, hoping she'd put two and two together.

"You didn't!" She gasped. "You're a minor, and besides sex, there are drugs and alcohol and maybe serial killers!"

"Chill," I grunted. "Don't ruin my buzz."

"Your buzz?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

I nodded, grin back in place.

"So you've finally done the deed…in the Backroom of Rainbow? Gah! What happened to waiting for Prince Charming?"

"I met him!" I gushed, taking her hands in mine.

"In a club?" She gave me a skeptical look.

"What's wrong with that? Many people find love in the wrong places."

"Oh, fine! So who is he? Anyone I know? How many teenagers can go to a club?"

"He's not exactly a teenager," I said quietly. _She's going to flip when she hears his age._

"Sweet, Edward. You slept with a college student?" Her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

I chewed on my bottom lip. "He's a psychologist."

"Practicing? Training?"

"No. He has his own company."

"So young? Some spoiled brat?"

I shook my head. "He's kinda…thirty."

"Sorry, but I suddenly became deaf. Could you repeat that last part?"

"Bella, don't give me that." I looked pleadingly at her.

"Give you what? Are you sure you wanted to sleep with him? He didn't molest you or anything?"

"Nooo!" I had never felt more mortified. "You're my best friend. I thought you'd understand."

"Only friend," she muttered, but I could tell she regretted it. Her sad eyes betrayed her, though the words cut through me. "Holy shit. I'm sorry, Edward."

I made to get up from the table, but she stood too, hugging me tightly.

"Sorry, hon. Sit back down and tell me about him."

Huffing—annoyed at myself and how my soft spot for Bella made me always forgive her—I did as told, slumping back in my chair.

_I was in the line, hoping to get inside, when _he_ came out. He was one hot specimen._

_I couldn't look away, even if I tried. The dark blond-haired guy was smoking hot, emphasis on smoking. He was currently flipping his Zippo at the end of the cigarette lolling from his mouth. _

_Those lips…fuck._

_That was my cue. Why wait in vain to get inside the blasted club when everything I wanted was outside, mere feet away from me?_

_Determined, I broke from the line and held my lighter to his mouth. I wasn't a smoker, but I always had a lighter on me._

_He peered down at me—deep, slightly clouded, blue eyes—and I was a goner._

_Bending his head closer and cocking it to the side, he cupped a hand around his smoke, all the while staring at me intensely and made me fumble to light his cigarette. I couldn't take my eyes off him, watching mesmerized as small puffs of smoke left his mouth and nose._

_I'd never felt so incapacitated before, not even when I came out to my best friend. Bella was actually happy we could gush together over hot actors. _

_Hearing his warm voice speaking to me made me high on him. "I've never seen you around here. Are you new in town?"_

"_Lived here all my life," I answered automatically, staring captivated at his lips._

"_I'd have remembered such a pretty face as yours," he commented around his cigarette._

_I shrugged, blushing and feeling like a total idiot._

"_Want to see my bedroom ceiling?"_

_I gaped at him, not understanding the meaning of his proposal. What could be different about his ceiling? _You've seen one, you've seen all._ Maybe he needed ideas on renovation, but what an odd thing to ask his…trick. Was I his trick? _

"_Uh, sure. My mom's an interior designer." I knew a thing or two about designing a room._

"_How sweet." He flicked ash on the pavement at his feet. "So are you coming with me?"_

Coming being the key word._ I nodded frantically, smiling from ear to ear._

_He smirked and spun on his heel, walking the other way. I stared dumbly after him. Did I do something to offend him? _

_When he reached the corner of the street, he glanced back, frowning. "Coming, or what?"_

"_Oh." I felt so stupid as I rushed after him like an eager pup._

_He led the way to a black slick BMW._

"_Cool ride," I said, admiring the polished car. I was still driving mom's old Volvo, silently hoping for a better, manlier car—like this one._

_My companion smiled widely, showing me his pearly white teeth, making me wonder how much he paid his dentist. Smoking and having white teeth? On what planet? But his handsome face distracted me quickly. He was too freaking hot…and that mouth of his. My dick hardened at the thought of his lips around it._

"_This is my new shiny toy," he said proudly, pressing a button on the remote in his hand. "It's the i8."_

"_The newest model?" My mouth dropped in surprise. He must be loaded. I wondered exactly how old he was, because he didn't look a day over twenty-five, and to have that kind of money at such a young age…_

_He opened the door, showing me how it worked—it was a lambo door, of course._

_Once inside the vehicle, I felt like my usual awkward self. At least, I'd been inspired to wear my contacts and not look like a nerd in my glasses._

_We drove in silence, listening to his music choice. I was surprised to hear Cher's early work, like _I Feel Something In The Air _and_ The Way Of Love. _I guessed every gay man loved Cher. She was one of my all-time favorites._

_The ride lasted about half an hour. He lived on the outskirts of Pittsburgh, in Brentwood. I lived on the other side of the city, on 44__th__ Street. But I decided not to worry about how I'd get back, or what my parents would do when I didn't show up at home later that night. _

_Living in the now was my new motto._

_The blond hottie whose name I didn't know, and I had a feeling it would remain a mystery even after tonight, lived in a large house. It had two floors._

_He unlocked the front door, and after I stepped in after him, he locked up, punching a key code in his alarm system._

"_Come," he commanded, walking up the stairs._

_Of what I could see, the place was pretty neat for a single man. I hoped he was single, but it wasn't like I could go anywhere now._

_He started undressing on the way to his room. His jacket was abandoned on the floor at the top of the stairs, then his tie followed, his shirt, his belt, and when we reached his room, he took his pants off._

_I gaped at his muscular body—he had the most perfect six pack I'd ever seen, and I'd only ever seen it in pictures._

"_Are you going to gawk at me, or take your clothes off and join me?" he drawled, stepping out of his briefs and socks._

_Holy fucking shit! He was huge._

_I wanted to fall to my knees and worship that cock. After hastily taking my clothes off, feeling very self-conscious about my lanky teenage body, I walked to him and accidentally tripped over his underwear. The action made me fall at his feet…in the position I desired in my mind, but was too afraid to act on it._

_He chuckled, helping me up on my knees._

"_If you wanted to suck me, you could have asked."_

_I looked between his face and his hard dick a couple of times until I settled for his cock. I opened my mouth as wide as I thought was necessary, before wrapping my lips around him. He hissed in pleasure. I could see through my half closed eyelids that his head was tipped back._

_I'd never felt so proud of myself as in that moment._

"_Yeah, suck me deeper," he pleaded. _

_I did as told and nearly choked myself. He put his hands at the back of my neck, easing his dick out of my mouth._

No!_ I pouted, realizing he thought I was terrible at it…which I was. I'd never sucked anyone off. Heck, he was my first real experience since I started exploring my sexuality. _

"_We can try this later." He lifted me up so we were almost nose to nose. "Now, I want to fuck you," he whispered, making it sound like a dirty secret._

_I moaned, taking hold of my aching dick._

_Smirking, he pushed me on the bed, where I tumbled down on my back sprawling my body awkwardly on the mattress._

_After rummaging through his nightstand, he placed on the bed a bottle of lube and a foil._

_Shit! This was the moment._

Should I tell him I've never done it before?

Would he read too much into it?_ I didn't want to blow my chance at getting fucked._

"_Nervous?" he asked gently._

_I only nodded, watching as he uncapped the lube and poured some on his hand, before rubbing both hands together._

"_First time?"_

_I nodded again, unable to find my voice._

"_I'll go slowly. Now, if you'd lean back and raise your knees…"_

_I quickly complied, not sure why he wanted me on my back. I thought gay sex was only from behind._

_Jeez. I really needed the balls to browse this on the Internet._

_The first time he touched me there, I jumped, not expecting his move, but as he eased the muscle, I discovered how pleasurable being touched _there_ was. He worked me gently with a finger, then added another. I started building for my impeding orgasm, and he noticed, because he twisted his hand, his nails scraping against something deep inside me. That made me explode. _

_I came around from my high by a sharp pain from my ass._

_He was inching his covered dick inside me._

_Fuck! It hurt._

_I tried to push him away with my hand on his tight abdomen, but he didn't budge._

"_Relax. The discomfort will be gone soon."_

_I wanted to believe him, so I tried to relax. The pain subsided only after his fourth push and pull. When I bucked into him, seeking pleasure, he grinned. His hand smoothed my hair out of my eyes._

"_You're so pretty."_

I am?_ I wanted to question his statement, but all that came out my mouth was an embarrassingly loud moan._

_He fucked me slowly until all I felt was pleasure, and I was begging for more. It was all he needed as he started pounding into me so hard and fast the bed springs groaned in protest._

_When he came, he took me with him a second time._

_Speedy recovery time was probably the only good thing about being a teenager._

_We lay sprawled on his bed, basking in the afterglow. I dozed off, too tired to focus on what he was talking about. The last thought I had before I fell asleep was that I hadn't even had a good look at his bedroom ceiling._

"And? Don't stop now!" Bella protested when I stopped talking.

I chuckled. "He woke me a few times during the night and we tried different positions."

"So…does he know you're a minor? What's his name?"

Bella's Inquisition wasn't over.

"Of course, he doesn't know! His name is Jasper Whitlock. I saw it on his business card on the counter in the kitchen. He drove me back to the club where I'd left the car last night," I explained.

"Holy shit! Your mom must be worried sick."

"I'll lie and say I spent the night at your place." I winked.

"Don't be surprised when our moms start planning our wedding. You have to tell your mom the truth, Edward."

"She'll hate me. Dad will disown me."

"If you think like that from the start…"

"I can envision the conversation, Bella. It will end in tears for all parties involved." I shuddered.

"Whatever. Let's head to class. By the way, are you seeing him again?" she asked as we made our way out of the cafeteria.

"We didn't establish anything. Hoping I'm not grounded forever, I'll head back to Rainbow tonight and seek him out."

"Luck. Though, I have a bad feeling about this. He seems to be an ONS kinda guy."

"One night stand? Don't be absurd. We shared something."

"Your virginity," she whispered, dissolving in a fit of giggles.

I scowled, refusing to believe she was right. Before we reached Biology, I was laughing along with her.

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**I'm so excited to share this new story to you all! I hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
**

**I will make a folder in my group on facebook and add there pictures. ;)**

**I don't have a posting schedule yet, so we'll see when the next chapter comes, could be a few days or so.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:**I don't own anything Twilight related, not even the general idea really since the story is inspired by Queer as Folk.

**Many thanks to my amazing beta - harrytwifan. And to you, my amazing readers! I did try to answer everyone, if I missed anyone, I apologize and try to do better this time. ;)**

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_This doesn't happen to me ev'ryday (oh my)  
Let's spend the night together  
No excuses offered anyway (oh my)  
Let's spend the night together  
I'll satisfy your every need (every need)  
And I now know you will satisfy me  
Let's spend the night together  
Now I need you more than ever  
Let's spend the night together now_

**The Rolling Stones – Let's Spend The Night Together**

"It's been a whole week!" I whined to Bella. She was such a good listener. She put up with me all the time.

"I hate to say it, but I told you, for him it was only a one night stand."

"But what we shared…" I pouted.

"He probably fools everyone like that. He didn't care it was your first time or that you might like him."

"Like him? I fell for him!" We fell silent at my outburst and stared at the door, waiting for any sign of disturbing her parents. When no one came bursting in her room, I fell back on the bed with a hand over my eyes.

"Try going back to the club."

"I've been there every night! I waited for him in the alley. He always left with a different guy. He didn't even look at me."

"Maybe he didn't see you?"

I gritted my teeth. "I'm going back tonight. I'll get in the club and find him and confront him."

"That's the right attitude, honey!" Bella cheered me on, patting my thigh. "Though, I'll leave the window open in case you want to come here after he breaks your heart."

"You're such an _optimist._ I knew there was a reason I was friends with you!" I rolled my eyes, turning around and pressing my face into the pillow.

"I'm being realistic, Edward! But if you want my advice—be yourself. You have no idea how charming you are."

She rubbed a hand over my back, before hugging me. "I'm sorry, sweetie," she whispered against my neck.

"Why?" I mumbled into the pillow.

"Your first turned out to be an asshole."

"I'm going to try again tonight. If it doesn't work, I'll forget him."

"Good. Let's make you pretty."

She pulled me off the bed, toward the clothes I brought over. Bella chose a pair of jeans and spread them on the bed, before grabbing a pair of scissors.

"Whoa! This is my favorite pair!" I lunged to stop her.

"Do you want to look hot and old enough to be in that club?" When I didn't answer, she smirked. "I thought so."

She worked on ripping my jeans, before going through my shirts. None struck her fancy, because she walked to her closet.

"No way!" I protested. "I may be queer, but you won't catch me dead in women's clothes!"

"Stop being like this! I'm only trying to help. You know me, honey. I own mostly men's clothes."

I sighed in defeat as I put on the jeans. One cut was above my right knee, the other under my left butt cheek. At least the tears were small and looked like I'd caught the fabric on something, not an ugly cut at all. Bella was the master of modifying clothes.

"Here. Try this on. I've never worn it."

She threw me a green shirt. It looked no different than my own clothes, but when I turned it around, I saw several cuts across the chest and it was kinda glittery. Against my better judgment, I shrugged it on. When I stood in front of the mirror, I didn't recognize the boy staring back at me. He looked like a man, one who belonged in Rainbow and in Jasper's bed.

Bella insisted on applying black eyeliner on my lower lids, then she pushed me to wear the glasses.

"Everyone loves nerds. Trust me."

I was ready to face Jasper Whitlock and play his game. He'd want me after tonight was over.

Bella drove me to Rainbow, kissed me goodbye, then left, but not before I promised to text her whatever happened—good or bad.

As I walked to the line, I saw him. He was leaning casually against the wall, smoking and chatting with another guy. This one didn't look like his usual guys. They had the same body language I had with Bella, which meant they were friends.

I approached as purposeful as I could, now being so close to him. My nerves skyrocketed, and monstrous butterflies danced wildly in my stomach.

"Hey," I said, biting my lip.

The other guy turned to me first and gave me a once over. My leather jacket covered the ripped shirt, but he could see my jeans. Did I look like I fit in? He wore bright yellow pants and a fluffy pink jacket—definitely not my style. He stood out amongst the guys around us.

"Hello?" He frowned at me.

Jasper finally turned, considering his friend was distracted by my presence. Something flashed in his eyes when he saw me. A slow smirk formed on his lips. "Even though you changed your appearance, I still won't fuck you again. Rile, this is my personal stalker." He gestured to me. "I had guys begging for a second round before, but this one has been here every night ever since we fucked," he told his friend in an even voice. "Come on, let's head inside. I'm sick of waiting for the drama queen."

Jasper threw the butt of his cigarette at my feet before going inside the club, without a second glance my way.

All my dreams were crushed. My plans of being strong, gone. I wanted to plant my ass on the cold asphalt and cry. I had high hopes he'd be just as happy to see me, though with what he said…he'd been aware of my stalking, which proved what an asshole he was.

"Don't take it personally," Rile said softly, touching my shoulder. "Jazz doesn't fuck the same person twice."

"Well, go and tell your friend he's an asshole with a capital A!" I choked out, brushing an angry tear off my cheek.

"Come and tell him yourself. By the way, I'm Riley."

"Edward," I grumbled, following him inside the club. I was immediately assaulted by a loud thumping beat, colors flashing every direction from the lights on the ceiling and a mass of sweaty bodies dancing.

It was so much better than what I expected, but I didn't have time to admire the view. I had to find Jasper and give him a piece of my mind.

He was easy to spot—every guy around him stared his way—but he was busy dancing with a burly guy. They were so close, too close. It made my blood boil with anger.

I stomped towards them, pushed them apart, then took Jasper's face between my hands and kissed him roughly. He responded after a beat, probably shocked by my behavior.

I could tell our lips would be bruised, but I didn't care. We kissed until we needed to breathe. It was the best kiss of my life—all my kisses happened with him, if I didn't count that one when Bella and I experimented a few years back. We had decided right away to forget it ever happened.

"Damn, I must have been too drunk to remember what a good kisser you are."

I beamed, pride filling my heart. "Do you remember my ass, too? It misses you."

I had no idea where this courage was coming from, but I wasn't going to let it go, to let _him_ go. Not without a fight. So I spun around and pressed my ass into his groin. He was hard, but so was I.

_Hell yes! I turned him on._

Slowly, Jasper started moving his hips, lifting my arms above my head. The gesture was liberating. The beat of the song was haze-inducing, and I rotated my hips, keeping my arms in the air. My head fell back against his shoulder and he grinned down at me.

"You look adorable with glasses," he murmured in my ear, licking around the shell.

I blushed furiously, glad the multicolor lights didn't allow him to see my pink face.

"They're a must," I admitted. "I hate contacts…"

"You look better with these glasses." Jasper leaned in for another kiss.

We danced a few more songs, before he led the way to the bar. I noticed the burly man talking to Riley.

"Damn, he moved on fast."

"That's Peter, our friend."

"Oh…weren't you waiting for him outside?"

"He was already in here, the prick. What do you want to drink?"

"Beer," I said quickly.

He gave me a speculative look before ordering. Maybe I should have given him a specific brand, but I didn't know what to say.

For the rest of the night, Jasper danced with me, and Riley stole me for one dance. He told me that _I'm the exception to the rule_. I had no idea what he meant until we left. The blond god led me to his fancy car to take me home. Again. For the second time.

During the car ride, I texted Bella saying, **I AM THE EXCEPTION! xo xo**

Since it was Friday night and my parents were gone until Monday, I made it my mission to spend the entire weekend with Jasper. He didn't seem to mind. Especially not on Saturday morning when I woke him up by trying to figure out how to give him a blow job. I must have done it right, because a few minutes later, he shot his load down my throat. I had to thank Bella and her magazines.

We didn't leave the house.

The first round took place right in the foyer, against the wall—the reunion was so raw and carnal, exactly what I needed. I enjoyed every moment. The next time was in the shower, then in his bed, the carpet in front of his bed, in the kitchen, on the stairs—everywhere. I didn't even care how sore I'd be, I had the best weekend of my life.

The euphoria disappeared on Monday morning. We were in his bathroom, brushing our teeth, side by side.

"Do you want me to drive you home?" he asked, meeting my eyes in the mirror.

I couldn't risk running into my parents as I sneaked in the house before they left for work. It would raise too many questions.

"Uh, no. Maybe I could burrow one of your shirts, though. Mine isn't exactly school-approved." I didn't realize what I said until he spat the toothpaste and stared at me in horror.

"How old are you?" The fear in his voice was visible in his eyes.

"Is my age a problem?" Why did adults make such a big deal of age difference? When one of the two involved is under twenty, it wouldn't matter if they were older.

"If you're a minor…" He took a shuddering breath, gripping the edge of the sink. "Tell me you're legal."

I looked down into the sink, feeling tears gathering in my eyes. This was the end of our short relationship.

"Edward, tell me. I'll try to be understanding."

I gulped thickly and found his endless blue eyes staring at me expectantly. Maybe lying was my escape, though I was a shitty liar. It was worth a shot. I'd do anything to keep him around longer, because he surely wouldn't want to see me again when he learned my age.

"Nineteen." There. Not too young, not too old.

He raised an eyebrow, fighting off a smirk, and I flushed.

"Eighteen?"

It sounded like a question even to my ears. I groaned loudly. I was secretly glad I hadn't gone to Rainbow last summer when I discovered it. If I met him then, when I was sixteen, he'd have probably died of shock; not like seventeen was much of a difference.

"Okay! Fine. I'm seventeen. Big fucking deal."

Jasper palmed his face. "I had two fucking simple rules—never fuck the same guy twice, and never do an underage twink. You're both." He looked angry. I had no idea if the ire was aimed at me or at himself.

"Riley said I'm the exception," I told him after a while.

"Well, Riley will lose some teeth next time I see him."

"Why are you so angry? It's not like you made me do anything I didn't want to, and I'm not running to the cops, either."

"Are you mentally incapacitated?" he snapped, glaring.

That stung like a motherfucker. It made my gut burn. "I'm not going to tell anyone. Hell, no one knows I'm gay. Besides Bella." I tried to make him understand I'd never turn him in or shout to the world that an older guy fucked me.

"Your BFF?" He grimaced.

"All I told you the past two days it's true. Please, Jasper. I hope you can see I'm not the average teenager."

"Go, grab a shirt. I'll drive you to…school." He cringed, as if the word hurt him.

He didn't acknowledge my presence until we were in the car, where he made sure I'd buckled myself correctly in the seat, before peeling off.

I called Bella to bring my bag to school, letting her know I was on my way. She sounded excited.

Once Jasper parked in front of the old school, a sense of dread filled me. It paralyzed me. This was the last time I would ever see him.

"Don't start weeping like a little queen," he threatened.

That opened the flood gates. Exasperated, he turned, reaching out a hand to touch me, but if he did that it would hurt even more when he left. I got out of the car in a hurry, but didn't get very far. Actually, I'd only managed to close the door when I felt his hands on my shoulders. I tensed, but allowed him to turn me around. When his arms wrapped around me, I sagged in his embrace, allowing the tears to fall freely.

"Shh. Don't cry. Here, have my card." He placed his business card in my hand. "I don't want to see you anywhere near Rainbow. You're too young for that shit."

That meant he wanted to see me somewhere else? I clutched the card in my hand, wrapping my arms around his neck. Jasper—I wanted to remember how he felt, the smell of his cigarettes and cologne.

He leaned back against the side of his car, then we were kissing. Our lips moved in sync, making me want to spend all my life doing just that. I could care less who saw us. All that mattered was Jasper wanted to see me again.

He broke the kiss first, pushing me away, his eyes somewhere behind me. "I hope the crazy girl running to us is your friend and not some homophobe. It's too much drama for a Monday morning."

I peeked over my shoulder and sure enough, Bella was coming to us with a big smile on her face.

"Hi!" she said. "You must be Prince Charming."

Never in a million years had I thought Bella could embarrass me in a way that could rival Mom. I was wrong.

Jasper chuckled, catching my eyes. "You got me mixed up with the bad guy. Nice to meet you, too." He winked at Bella. "Later." He tapped my nose, walking to the other side of the car and sliding inside.

"Holy smokes, Edward! That was one hot kiss!" Bella clapped her hands once Jasper was gone.

"Did anyone see it?" I asked, suddenly worried.

"I don't think so." She handed me my backpack. "Tell me everything!"

I grinned at her eagerness. On our way to first class, I managed to sum up our weekend, skipping the details.

I couldn't wait to see Jasper again.

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**Did this chapter explain some questions?  
**

**If you want to see the characters, go to my group on facebook (Addicted-to-romione-bedward Fanfiction), link on my profile here.**


	3. Chapter 3

_I want your sex  
I want your love  
I want your… Sex_

_It's natural_  
_It's chemical (let's do it)_  
_It's logical_  
_Habitual (can we do it?)_  
_It's sensual_  
_But most of all..._  
_Sex is something we should do_  
_Sex is something for me and you_

**George Michael – I Want Your Sex Part I**

* * *

**Jasper J. Whitlock, M.D.**

**Child and adolescent psychologist**

**Brandon, Peterson and Whitlock Clinic**

I stared at the card in my hand the whole day. There were also a few telephone numbers and e-mail addresses.

I idly wondered if this was a joke. That first morning when I spied his card, I had only seen his name and the word psychologist. But now, seeing his branch of specialty, it made me wonder about him.

Did he give me the card as my boyfriend, or as a doctor worried about a teenager's behavior?

In the end, it was Bella who convinced me to call and ask. I had nothing to lose, she said. I had everything to lose, I knew.

I decided to wait and give him some time, not wanting to look eager to be around him, even though I missed him already.

At home, Mom greeted me at the door, smiling.

"Darling! I've missed you. How was your weekend at Bella's?" Her voice dropped a few octaves when she mentioned Bella. Maybe my friend was right. Maybe our moms were indeed secretly planning out wedding.

"It was great. We watched movies and did our homework," I lied.

She didn't pick up on that, looking distracted, as always.

"Lovely." She patted my cheek. "When are you off to see Mr. Brown?"

_I just got home. Cut me some slack, besides…_ "It's Monday. I see Mr. Brown on Tuesdays and Ms. Hale on Thursdays," I reminded her with a roll of my eyes.

_You can act like you missed me, not only say the words, but five minutes in my company and you want to get rid of me._

"Oh, right. I'm sorry, darling. I'm waiting for an important phone call so I'm a little immersed."

_Sure, use big words to look more important than you are._

"I'll be in my room," I muttered, taking the stairs two at a time.

We always had the same meaningless conversations.

She loved to keep me busy; violin lessons, piano lessons, and in the past, she had even enrolled me in karate (but after I broke my arm, she realized it wasn't for me). There were also swimming lessons at some point, where I nearly drowned after the coach pushed me in the water saying everyone had survival instincts. I didn't, and it took an older guy to pull me out.

So I stuck with the music. I loved it.

Lying on my bed, I played with my phone for a while, before I finally got the balls to dial Jasper's mobile number.

"Dr. Whitlock," he answered promptly.

_Doctor Doctor, gimme the news, I got a, Bad case of lovin' you. _

Yeah, right. As if I had the courage to say that.

"Hello?" He sounded irked when I didn't say anything.

"Hi. Hey. It's Edward, you know…"

"I know." Jasper sighed, mumbling something that sounded like _I should have known_. "Can I help you with anything?"

That was so professional of him. "Why did you give me your card?"

_Fucking idiot! _I smacked myself in the head with the pillow.

I could hear Jasper laughing. "Because you're the exception," he replied once he calmed down.

My heart doubled in speed. "So, it's not because you think I'm crazy and I might need you…professionally?"

"No, kid. Nothing like that."

_Kid! I'm not a kid!_

"Having that covered, do you want anything else? I have a client in ten," he said softly.

"Oh. Uh, no. That's all." _I just wanted to hear your voice. I'm pathetic, I know._

"In that case, we'll talk later." He hung up, leaving me gaping at the wall in front of me. In the wallpaper taped there, Freddie was staring back at me from his position lounged in front of the bike. It was my favorite scene from the video clip _Crazy Little Thing Called Love_.

_What was that?_ I wondered.

He said later. Later meant he'd call me. He had my number now.

I was so giddy I had to express my mood somehow, and what better way than playing?

I picked my violin and positioned it carefully on my shoulder, before closing my eyes and letting the music pour out of me. The joyful melody soon turned into something I'd never tried, but it reminded me of our weekend spent at Jasper's—full of passion and a fuck fest. When a hair on the bow snapped, I stopped, surprised. I'd seen it with great violinists, but I had no idea I could play so violently to destroy the bow.

Putting the instrument aside, I grabbed a clean music sheet. The notes I scribbled came in perfect harmony, creating a crazy song which was a perfect replica of what I felt around Jasper.

Mr. Brown had always told me when I found something that inspired me to write music, to never let it go. I wasn't planning on leaving Jasper any time soon.

I wrote like a maniac, and only snapped out of the trance when a knock on my door let me know dinner was ready.

I looked around at the mess—papers and pencils with broken points everywhere––then I shrugged and went downstairs. I was fulfilled, and couldn't wait to get the courage to tell Mr. Brown about the song.

To my surprise, both my parents were at the table, talking and drinking; gin for Dad, martini for Mom.

Zafrina, our cook and maid, brought the food into the room. She smiled at me, and I smiled back, taking my seat next to Mom.

This woman had been around more than my own mother. She practically raised me.

When we began eating, the same stupid questions were fired at me.

_How is school? How is Bella? How are my music classes? Do I need more money for myself? Have I been good in their absence?_

Same old, same old.

But never once did they ask if I was happy, or if I needed someone to talk to…like a parent. I bet Bella was already sick of my whining.

After dinner was over, everyone went to their respective room, not giving a shit about the others. Dad locked himself in his study, Mom in the master bedroom, and I slammed the door of my room.

It was a maddening routine. It had always been like this. When I was younger, I thought it happened to every family, questions over questions, fake hugs and smiles then off to their rooms.

But then I grew up and befriended Bella. On my sleepovers there, her mother constantly checked on us, asking if we needed more snacks or drinks, or simply poking her head in the room to see us. It made me realize my family was dysfunctional.

I had to wait three days for Jasper to return my call.

I was on the way home after meeting Ms. Hale for my piano lessons, which were more practice for the recital I had in only two weeks. If I impressed the jury, I could get a free one-way ticket to Juilliard.

It was late on a rainy Thursday evening, and I was walking home because Mom was too busy with her group of stuck-up, high-class friends to come get me. That was when Jasper called.

"Hi!" I answered.

"Hello, Edward. Is it a bad time to call?" His warm voice made me forget I was in the cold rain, making my way home.

"Not at all."

"Horrible weather, huh?"

"Tell me about it." I sneezed, cursing in my head. Damn, that was really embarrassing.

"Bless you," he said, amused. "So I was wondering…do you have any plans for tomorrow night?"

_Is he asking me out? _Holy shit.

"Nope." Then I remembered my promise to Bella to have a movie marathon. "Actually, I don't know…"

"Well, let me know if you change your mind. You know where to find me."

"Okay. I'll call and—"

He hung up before I could give him a feeble excuse. That was so rude!

_Why does he keep hanging up me? Do I bore him? Do I talk too much? _

Next day at school, I cornered Bella at her locker.

"You're nervous about something. You always push your glasses up your nose when you're nervous."

"About tonight…I'm not sure I can make it." I dug my toe in the metal of the locker.

"Got a hot date?" She grinned, grabbing my wrist.

"He doesn't date. I think I'll meet him at the club and surprise him."

"Good plan. Let me know how it goes, and don't worry about me."

I was about to protest that she was my best friend and of course I'd worry about her being alone, but then I saw her eyeing Alec, the new guy at our school. He looked like a decent kinda guy, laid back and definitely avoiding drama. I shared English with him, and maybe I could play Cupid. It was the least I could do for Bella.

That night was easy to sneak out of the house. I didn't even try dressing up to impress him. I just threw on a pair of black jeans, a band t-shirt, my Chucks, and a leather jacket. Late October weather sucked.

I walked to Rainbow, considering it wasn't that far away, and I needed to muster all my courage to go near Jasper again. Maybe I should have called. If he was there with someone else, I wasn't sure how I'd react. I wanted to be brave and claim my territory.

I arrived late at the club in hopes to get Jasper and leave, ready to spend another wonderful night with him.

My heart sank when I saw him exiting the club with a new guy. He had an arm around the dude's neck and they were kissing, stumbling their way to the car.

I was closer to his car and hurried there, leaning against the door and folding my arms across my chest. I could picture how unaggressive I looked, but I tried my best. He promised, and when I didn't call back he went after someone else? It hurt.

"Get lost," Jasper barked at me, not looking in my direction, busy exploring the guy's mouth.

"I don't think so, honey. I'm the designated driver. You're too drunk to drive," I said as sweetly as possible. My smile widened when his head snapped up and a look of disbelief appeared on his face.

"Keys, please." I extended my hand, not looking away from his dilated blue eyes.

"You're in a relationship? I'm outta here!" The other dude hightailed it in the opposite direction.

Jasper frowned after him before fixating his eyes on me. "Now," he drawled, coming closer and trapping me between his body and the car. "You made my fuck leave."

"I can help you with that." I wrapped my arms around him, sneaking my hands in his back pockets and squeezing his ass.

He pondered my words, then leaned closer and kissed me hungrily. His whole frame was pressed against mine. I could feel every inch of him, and it drove me crazy with need.

Angling his head a little to the right to get better access at my mouth, he murmured against my lips, "I'm going to meet Satan."

I moved one hand to his hair and tugged at his golden locks. "Here I thought you were an angel."

I felt rather than saw his smile. "Lucifer." His lips pressed firmly against mine again. One of his hands held my neck, the other on the top of his car.

I was aware we were moving and making noises, but if all kisses with him were like this, I never wanted to do anything else.

He separated from me, leaving a trail of spit between us. "You can ruin my nights more often, Pretty Boy."

I turned red, wiping my mouth. "Keys," I said softly.

He pressed them to my palm, pushing me toward the front of the car. I walked around it, feeling lightheaded. That kiss had been something else. He'd never kissed me that way.

As I got in the car and strapped the seatbelt on, I stared at the steering wheel feeling nervous.

"I have no idea how to drive," I admitted. I was used to Mom's old shitty car.

"You don't have a license?" He groaned, looking at me.

"I do! Remember, you brought me back to my car after the first time? What I meant is…I have no idea how to drive _your_ car."

"Like you drive any car." He shrugged, slouching in his seat.

_Thanks for the tip._ I rolled my eyes.

After fumbling a little, I got it running.

"Careful with the acceleration. It's very sensitive."

"Got it."

_Whoa! It is sensitive!_ I only pressed the tip of my shoe down and we were flying down the street.

"How was school?" Jasper asked suddenly.

I gave him a questioning look, but he looked genuinely interested; unlike my parents.

"It's school, you know?" I focused back on the road.

"Refresh my memory." He chuckled. At least he was no longer upset with the age difference.

"I mostly keep to myself, away from the drama. Bella's my only friend."

"That's good, you know? To have fewer friends, and to know you can count on them when you're in trouble."

"I guess. It's not like I tried to get more than one friend. Bella…it just happened. We met at some extracurricular classes in primary school."

"Did you take ballet?"

"No, but she did. How did you guess?"

"It was obvious. Every little girl dreams of being a ballerina."

"Except I'm a boy. I had a class right after hers ended." I prolonged the inevitable. He'd think I was too weird when he found out I studied violin and piano.

"What were you studying? Take a left here." He pointed to the next intersection.

Good thing he guided me. I had no idea how to get to his house. In the past, I'd been busy staring at him, rather than paying attention to the road.

"Fiddle," I blurted out.

"Sorry?" His eyebrows shot up.

I sighed heavily. "I took violin lessons. One time, Bella stayed after her class was over to listen to me. We became friends."

He didn't say anything for two excruciatingly long minutes. "You still play?" He sounded amazed.

"Yeah. I also take piano lessons."

"That's wonderful!"

"It is?" I asked, embarrassed.

"I love classical music," he confessed.

I tried to hide my smile. "Maybe…" I trailed off, unsure of what I wanted to say.

"What is it?" Jasper leaned closer, placing his hand on my thigh.

"Would you like to hear me play?"

"I'd be honored, Edward. Take a right there and a left, then we're home." He squeezed my thigh, distracting me. "You were right. You're different than the average teenager. You're smarter and more sophisticated. I like that."

_He liked me!_

_Jasper Whitlock liked me._

I could hear angels singing.

Our serious conversation was forgotten the moment I parked the car. We rushed to the front door, and after dropping the keys twice, Jasper managed to get it unlocked. Once inside, with one hand he pushed my jacket off my shoulder, and with the other, he punched the code in the key-pad.

On the way to his room, we left a trail of clothes as we tore them off us like savages.

"I can't get enough of you!" He moaned against my throat.

"I need you."

"My bedroom. Now."

We were still on the stairs when he picked me up as if I weighted nothing and made a bee-line to his room.

I could feel his cock bouncing against my ass, while mine pressed into his tight stomach.

I had no idea why he wanted to get horizontal when we had walls around us. I remembered how pleasurable it was the last time he took me against the wall.

* * *

**To see all the characters, check the collages I made in my FB group. :)  
**

**See you next Sunday!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Happy Sinday! :)**

* * *

_You tear down all my reasons  
You see it through all I hide  
You make me perfect  
Help me get inside_

_I wanna fuck you_  
_I wanna taste you_  
_I wanna feel you_  
_I wanna be you_

**Nine Inch Nails – Closer To God**

"You like this?" Jasper asked, biting down on my left ass cheek.

I answered with a loud moan muffled by his pillow. He quickly licked the bite to soothe the stinging.

"What about this?" He spread my cheeks and pushed his tongue in my ass.

My eyes crossed in pleasure. _Holy fuck!_ He was torturing me.

Ever since we got to his room, hours ago, he'd been taking his time driving me crazy. At first, we kissed mostly, then he left hickeys on my neck, before moving lower to torment my nipples. When I couldn't take it anymore, I rolled over, begging him to fuck me. That uncalculated gesture brought me to where I was now. After licking my back and nipping at every mole he found on my shoulders, he moved to my ass…and didn't leave it.

"Please, Jasper! Please. I need to come!" My voice cracked as he started to fuck me with his tongue.

"Oh, but I'm not done with you, Pretty Boy."

I couldn't take it any longer, so I spun around. My teenage body wasn't used to being denied release, and my hormones were running wild. I pinned him to the bed, straddling his hips, and keeping his arms above his head.

"Now you have me at your mercy. What are you going to do?" he drawled, looking amused. His fingers flexed in my grip.

"I could torture you right back, but I need to come too badly. And so do you, right?" I grasped his dick in my hand, so hard and heavy.

He bucked his hips, closing his eyes slowly. When I started stroking him, his lids opened, showing me the most beautiful shade of blue eyes. They were dark as the early night sky.

I sat up on my knees, positioning him at my entrance. My hands were sweaty. I had no idea what I was doing; I'd never led before.

"Whoa, Pretty Boy!" Jasper stilled my hand. "Aren't you forgetting something?" His eyes were wide and serious.

"You lubed me up for half an hour, driving me crazy in the process," I reminded him.

"I meant protection." He looked upset. "No wonder the rising number of kids getting infected."

My heart jumped in my throat, dread filling me. "But…but…you're clean. Aren't you?"

He smirked, pushing me off him to grab a condom.

"Aren't you?" I could feel my heart pounding wildly in my chest.

"Does it make a difference? If it makes you sleep better at night, then yes, I'm clean."

I breathed a sigh of relief. For the first time since I'd known I was gay and after starting my sex life, I wished I had the courage to tell my parents. It was odd they hadn't already given me the usual sex talk, but it would have been nice to know they cared. I guessed Jasper would have to answer my questions, but another time.

Jasper cupped my cheek, kissing me slowly. "Did I ruin the mood?"

"No. I get it. You're being safe."

"Good. I never fuck without one, and neither should you," he said seriously, taking my glasses off and placing them on the nightstand.

"Isn't that implicit? Who else am I going to sleep with?"

"This…_us_…it's just a fling."

My stomach rolled uncomfortably, but when he squeezed my dick, I remembered my acute need to come.

Opening the foil, he gave me on the condom and it took me a few moments to roll it on his cock. The second the task was accomplished, I straddled him again, and with his help, I sank down. He was so big. I wondered if I'd ever get used to the feeling of him inside me, the pleasure it gave me.

"Yeah. Fuck, Edward!" Jasper threw his head back, running his hands over my sides.

_So you think this is just a fling? Let me show you how good we are together._

Determined to make him see the bond we shared, I planted my palms on his chest as I started bouncing.

_Holy shit! _I could feel him deeper than ever before in this position. The head of his dick kept bumping into that delicious spot deep inside me, making my balls tighten and the coil in my stomach to wind up further.

"Jasper. Jasper!" I cried out when his hands grabbed my ass, keeping me still for him to fuck me faster.

It had never been this intense, but being denied release for so long, it made the sensation more powerful.

"Let go, Pretty Boy. Come for me," he said in a soothing voice. I grabbed my dick and tugged at it a couple times before I exploded all over him, covering his chest in copious amounts of spunk.

But he wasn't finished. Seeing I was about to collapse, he flipped me around, his thumbs digging in the dimples above my ass as he pounded me in the mattress. My moans were once again muffled by his pillow. My erection returned in a matter of minutes, surprising me. I knew I could recover fast, but not that fast.

Jasper's movements became erratic, and I knew he was close. I had to stop him and prolong the glorious feelings.

"I'm hard again!" I shouted over my shoulder.

Instead of making him slow down, he fucked me harder until he came, calling my name loudly.

I wanted to cry when he pulled out of me, but my disappointment was short-lived. Rolling me on my back, Jasper took my dick in his mouth. I fisted my hand in his golden hair, trying to pay attention to what he was doing, but his blow job skills were so good, it took him only one minute to make me come a second time.

"Maybe there are advantages of being with a younger guy," he mused, lying on his back next to me, lighting himself a cigarette. "You smoke?"

I glanced at him, still not back to reality after one of the best orgasms I'd ever had. "No…"

"But you want to try? Here. Take a drag."

He pressed the yellow part of the stick to my lips. I'd been curious, but never had an urge to try smoking. I knew it was dangerous. Though, having it pressed to my lips, burning and smelling of nicotine, I had to inhale it. As fast as it was in, the smoke was out, and I sat up, coughing my ass off. My eyes watered up, mostly in shame.

"Let the smoke fill your lungs. Hold it in longer," he explained patiently, running a hand over my back.

"My throat's aching."

Jasper sat up next to me. He took a drag of the cigarette, making it look so easy, before beckoning me closer. I leaned over immediately, and he pressed his mouth to mine. I opened my lips in surprise, allowing him to exhale into my mouth. He pulled away, nudging my jaw shut. "Hold it in."

I did as told, feeling the smoke glide inside my body.

"Out. Slowly." The vapor left my mouth, creating a small cloud in front of me.

"Nice. You learn fast." He winked. "Damn, I'm such a bad influence on you."

"You're not." I took the warm cigarette from his hand and lifted it to my lips. This time, I didn't cough much, and as I slowly finished the stick, I didn't cough at all.

"Aw, man! Here." Jasper handed me an ashtray. "No ash on the bed sheet." He flicked it away, frowning when it spread on the material.

"Sorry."

"It's your first time. Just don't do it again."

We stayed up half the night. He told me a little about himself, and in turn, I told him a lot about myself.

All I'd learned from him was that he and Pete went way back since they were kids. They both grew up in Texas and went to college in New York. They didn't like the life there, and when Jasper got an internship at a clinic in Pittsburgh, they were both on the first plane here. About a year after their move, his boss died. He left the clinic to his daughter and to Jasper, the only people he trusted. That was how they renamed it from **Brandon Mental Health Clinic** to **Brandon, Peterson and Whitlock Clinic**.

And that was about all he let out; not another word about Pete or Ms. Brandon, or what exactly they were doing. I was curious if all of them were shrinks.

The next morning, while eating breakfast and watching TV, Mom called, wondering where I was and that she had important news.

Ms. Hale had probably called to let her know I was ready for my recital.

Jasper drove me to the corner of my street, and we kissed in his car for ages. When he pulled away, he traced his thumb over my probably puffy lips.

"Later, Pretty Boy."

"Bye," I managed to breathe out, before leaving the car. I almost skipped on my way home.

Mom greeted me at the door, hugging me tightly. She told me about Ms. Hale calling about my recital. She was so predictable.

"Even if I get in, I'm still stuck in high school another year," I reminded her, trying not to show her how much it excited me, the idea of having my place in Juilliard assured.

"Maybe they'll let you in early. My genius, darling boy!" She kissed me fondly on both cheeks.

There were such moments, seldom in nature, when she showed me her affection so openly. I feared to lose even these few precious moments if I told her the truth.

For the following two weeks, I focused solely on rehearsing for the recital.

Even though I was itching to see Jasper, I had to concentrate on my top priority. That performance could determine my future. We did talk on the phone, and he even promised to buy a ticket and be there to cheer on me. The thought thrilled me, but made me sick, too. What if I sucked?

When the fateful Saturday rolled around, I woke in high spirits. I went through my morning routine, humming and imagining being back in Jasper's arms by the end of the weekend. I missed him too much.

My mood vanished when I found a note on the counter in the kitchen. My parents had to go to fucking Los Angeles at last minute notice for one of Dad's stupid meetings. I truly hoped they hadn't forgotten about my recital and that they'd make it on time.

Zafrina tried to cheer me up with pancakes, but it didn't work.

I really fucking hated politics, and Dad's aspiring career to be the mayor. He was always gone, taking Mom with him to pose as the good housewife. I knew different, though. They could barely stand each other, fighting more and more every day. Sometimes, I wondered if they stayed together for Dad's political career or for me. If it was the latter, I wouldn't be bothered if they divorced. It drove me crazy to hear them fight, and then act as if everything was unicorns and rainbows whenever we were all in the same room.

As the hours ticked by and they didn't pick up the phone when I called, I got agitated and angry.

Bella stopped by after lunch to help me prepare for the event. She also tried to lift my spirits with silly gossip, but it didn't work. I doubted anything would ever make me smile again.

I was physically sick of how uncaring my parents were.

At the opera house, I found Jasper easily in the hall and flew into his arms. He made me feel minutely better.

"Hey. Don't be nervous," Jasper murmured, squeezing my shoulder.

He mistook my actions. "I'm not nervous," I said, pulling away. "I'm fuming. I'm so angry I'm seeing red."

"Oh? Was it me?" he asked meekly.

It was clear in that moment he hadn't waited around for me to get his release and had probably gone to Rainbow for some Backroom action, but even though it stung, I understood this was how he was. I wasn't mad at him. I appreciated the honesty.

"My parents," I explained through gritted teeth. I looked around in hopes to catch sight of them at the last minute, but no such luck. "They're imbeciles."

"They're not here? Did you come out to them?" he asked fearfully.

"I didn't, but I will the second they return from L.A.."

"Calm down, Pretty Boy. Go up there and win them over." He pecked my cheek, pushing me to go backstage.

Ms. Hale gave me last minute instructions, but I wasn't paying attention. I only nodded to show her faux interest.

When my turn came, I walked on the stage, and after sitting down, I glanced at the vast room. I doubted they were there somewhere, out of breath and ready to listen to their son get his free ticket to Juilliard.

My fingers refused to play the well-rehearsed Debussy first movement, _De l'aube à midi sur la mer_, from the symphony La mer. It was perfect for what we needed. I could remember Ms. Hale's words of praise from the last time I played it impeccably at her house. Instead of playing the planned piece, my fingers seemed to have a mind of their own, gliding over the ivories and blacks as a very depressing Chopin composition poured out of me—_Étude Op. 25, No. 10__ in B minor_. It helped express all my anger, pain, and fears.

At that point, I didn't even care anymore if the jury didn't like it. All that mattered was I had found a way to pour out my feelings without smashing things or punching people. I always took all my feelings and let them show through my music.

My own parents didn't give a fuck about my recital, why should the jury? I didn't even know them, and they didn't know me.

Maybe that would do the trick, not knowing me.

Maybe my parents were ashamed of me? And they didn't even know I took it up the ass. I snorted at that thought.

When I was finished, I rushed past a scandalized Ms. Hale and didn't stop until I was outside the opera house. Sitting on the cold steps and feeling the chilly November air hit my face made me feel better.

Bella and Jasper joined me, concerned I was unwell. I refused to answer stupid questions.

"I'll take him home." I heard Jasper whispering to Bella. He draped an arm over my shoulders and led me down the stairs. "You were splendid." He kissed my cheek soundly, making me blush.

"Yes, Edward. Magnificent." Bella nodded in agreement, following us. "It must have been very important, what they had to do, for them to miss your recital."

"Stop fucking talking about them!" I yelled, stomping my foot.

She shook her head and hugged me. After kissing me, she left, making me promise to call her later.

Jasper drove me home in silence. I bet he could feel the anger rolling off me in waves.

"Come inside. I need you," I begged when he parked in front of my house.

I knew Zafrina was home for the weekend to spend time with her family.

"Alright." He smiled, making my heart warm. Maybe this evening wasn't so bad after all.

The second we stepped inside the house, the air between us changed, charging with sexual need. I led him to my room, closed the door behind us, then stripped, facing the wall.

"Fuck me. Hard. Fast. I need this."

Jasper gasped. "Edward, you're upset. Don't take it out on your body."

"Fuck me!" I punched the wall, tears spilling down my cheeks.

"As much as I'd love that…"

"Jasper, please," I begged in a broken voice.

By some miracle, he caved to my insane request. One hand pushed against my shoulder so fast and hard I smashed into the wall. His other hand angled my hips better before tracing a spit-coated finger to my ass.

He broke contact for a few moments, and I peeked over my shoulder to see him sheathing his dick in a condom and ripping another foil of what looked like lube. He saw me looking and smirked, grabbing my neck and pressing my face into the wall.

After hastily stretching me, he pushed in, and I couldn't help the scream of ecstasy and fullness that left my mouth. I'd missed his dick so much.

Jasper immediately started a punishing rhythm, and I screamed until my throat was raw and some more after that.

I wiggled my ass, groaning loudly when he touched that spot deep inside me. "Spank me, Jasper."

His breath hitched, but he didn't waste any time, complying to all my crazy requests. I had no idea what had come over me, but I needed to _feel_—to feel something that made me happy and took my mind off the night's events.

Jasper kept his left hand around the back of my neck, squeezing tightly, but not enough to leave bruises, as his other hand administered loud smacks on my ass cheeks. It brought me so close to the edge, I had to wrap my fingers in a tight grip at the base of my dick to keep from exploding too soon.

As he fucked me harder, panting against my neck, the door of my room flew open. We stopped moving, but didn't lose the connection. I was so close to coming, that stopping now made tears spring into my eyes.

My parents stood in the doorway, gaping at us, horrified.

Mom had both hands over her mouth, and a vein pulsed against Dad's temple.

"Get off my son, you fucking animal!" he shouted at Jasper.

I grabbed Jasper's hand to prevent him from moving, as I glared at my father. It was now or never. Even though this wasn't the way I wanted to come out to them, it was better than the stuttering scenario I had in my head.

"He has my consent. I want him to fuck me. I don't care if you agree or not. Leave my room!"

Mom swayed, leaning against Dad's side. He immediately wrapped an arm around her.

"What have you done to him?" she wailed in Jasper's direction, too afraid to even look at him.

"Get. Out." I pointed a finger to the hallway.

Surprisingly, they left, closing the door behind them. It was probably too embarrassing for them. I could hear them talking about a gun and calling the police.

Jasper pulled out of me and stumbled to the bed. "The adventures of fucking a teenager." He chuckled, collecting his boxers from the floor.

"Don't. Fuck them. I want to finish," I begged, taking his underwear from him.

"Edward, that was totally a mood killer. I don't know what was in my head to even accept your crazy idea."

"That was the best fuck of my life…ruined by my fucking parents. Uh, their visit turned me on. I wanted you to keep fucking me, make them watch," I admitted in a small voice.

"Maybe you should pay me a visit at work—as a patient." He snatched his boxers from my hand and pulled them on. I followed his lead and got dressed as well. "You need to talk to them."

The second he finished speaking, the door of my room opened again to reveal Dad holding a gun, pointed at Jasper.

My blood ran cold, and as if on autopilot, I stepped in between them, my arms bent behind me to protect Jasper.

"You'll have to shoot me first," I hissed.

"Pretty Boy, I better leave. You have a lot to talk to your parents," Jasper whispered.

"The fuck you're leaving, you rapist!" Dad yelled. "Move away, Edward."

"I'm leaving with him. I'm not staying in this dysfunctional family for another minute! I knew there was a reason why I never told you I was gay!"

"What stupid ideas did you put in his head?" Dad shouted at Jasper.

I grabbed a duffel bag I usually used for sleepovers at Bella's, and pushed in some clothes and school stuff. While packing, I made sure to stay in between Dad and Jasper, afraid he'd shoot him. I pushed the bag to him, grabbed my school backpack and my violin, then shoved past my stupefied father. He'd even lowered the gun, trying to reason with me.

Mom was downstairs, and she burst into a fresh round of tears when she saw me ready to leave. I simply ignored her. I left the house without a last glance behind me, holding Jasper's hand.

"Can I crash at your place?" I asked on the way to his car.

He snorted, clearly amused. "Do I have a choice? I'd have never thought a bad boy laid under that innocent look of yours, Pretty Boy."

"There's a lot you don't know about me."

"Ditto."

On the way to his house, I pondered on my uncertain future. It hit me like a train—I was homeless, but I couldn't dwell too much on that. I finally got the guts to stand up to myself and tell my parents the truth.

Jasper shot me a worried look when a choking sound escaped me, but I waved him off, turning to look out the window. I'd be fine. The enormity of the situation was catching up with me.

* * *

**How is Jasper going to cope with having Edward around?  
**

**For those who want to punch Edward's parents, the line starts around the corner. I'm going to hand tickets so everyone gets a turn. ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the delay but I just realized we're Sunday. Been up all night after the 3 Seconds to Mars concert.  
**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

_Love is touch, touch is love  
Love is reaching, reaching love  
Love is asking to be loved_

_Love is you_  
_You and me_  
_Love is knowing_  
_We can be_

**John Lennon – Love**

"Do you have a hoodie? I forgot to pack one." I stood in the doorway of his bathroom, half-dressed.

Jasper stopped dry-toweling his hair and gave me an exasperated look. "Edward, you didn't pack anything, besides two tees, a pair of jeans, and some underwear and socks. You're lucky I had a spare toothbrush."

"I got my school stuff…uh, some of it, my laptop and my violin." I gave him a small smile.

He scratched his jaw, eyeing me. "This…you staying here…is a phase. You'll go back to your parents."

"No. I won't." I glared.

"At least to talk to them. You don't even know if they understand you, if they accept that you're gay. Give them a chance."

I fished in my pocket for my wallet. "How much for the five minutes of therapy, doc?"

"I'm serious!" Jasper wrapped the towel around his waist and walked to me, placing his hands on my shoulders. "Listen, I left my family when I was about your age. I don't regret it, because they were mean and would have never understood me being gay wasn't an itch I had to scratch."

"Yeah, so? I don't regret leaving, either." I stared into his eyes, making him see I didn't give a fuck about what my parents thought.

"What I regret is not telling my mama that I forgave her. I didn't get the chance. She died a few years ago."

His raw honesty made me drop the wallet in surprise. It also made me feel miserable. He told me more about himself in that simple phrase than he'd told me in all the time we'd known each other.

"So, kiddo, think twice before you make a bad decision." He patted my shoulder like we were good buddies, then went to his closet. "Do you want a zipper on the hoodie or not?"

"Huh?" I was still dazed by his previous words.

Jasper turned to me, holding two types of hoodies in his hands. I pointed to his NYU gray one, pulling it over my head. I was immediately assaulted by his glorious smell—some expensive cologne and pure essence of Jasper. That way he'd be close to me at school, too. I smiled at the thought, hugging myself and sniffing at the collar.

"Give me a few days. I'll try talk to them, but…I want you there with me," I said after a while.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Pretty Boy. Your dad might try shooting me again."

I groaned, rolling my eyes. "Maybe I should call and explain you didn't kidnap me and you didn't force me…in what they saw. And I'll let them know I will come back when I'm ready."

"That's a wise decision. Can you do it in the car, though? I'm driving you to school."

"Thanks." I beamed, grabbing my bag, and led the way outside.

The phone call didn't go well. At all. My mom was hysterical for half of it, then she calmed down and begged me to come back home. I placated her, reminding her I needed time. I hadn't left because I liked men, I left because they were imbeciles. Of course, I didn't tell her in so many words, but hopefully she got the gist.

When Jasper parked in front of the school, I didn't make a move to get out of the car.

"We're here," he said gently. He stayed quiet during my call and after. I felt his fingers tilting my head and dropping a kiss to my mouth. "You're a strong young man, Edward."

"Yeah?" I had no idea how to feel. He nodded, pecking my lips again. "What about when I finish school? Where am I going?" I voiced the thing that had been eating at me ever since he told me he didn't want me to live with him, and that I should go back to my parents.

"Come by my office. I'll pay your cab ride."

I nodded. "That will be after three thirty," I said, looking at my fingers.

"Call me when you get there."

I nodded again, before opening the door and stepping out. I didn't look back as I made my way toward the entrance. The BMW's engine revved, the wheels screeched on the asphalt, then he was gone.

The thrill I felt the other night after leaving my parents' house and running away with my…partner? Fuck buddy? I had no idea what to call Jasper. Anyway, that thrill was long gone after our conversation this morning. He didn't want me in his house.

Of course, he didn't. Why would he?

I'd only be in his way when he went back to Rainbow and brought someone home. That would be awkward. I truly hoped he didn't go back, not to get his rocks off. I wanted him to come to me for that, but it wasn't possible and I knew it, even though it hurt. Changing Jasper's lifestyle was my top priority, but it would take time to make him see the advantages of a relationship.

In Calculus, I saw Bella for the first time that day, having dodged her and her questions as long as I could having her in my previous classes. She threw her arms around me the second I plunked my ass in the chair next to her.

"You're fine! Oh, I've been so worried. And when you didn't show up at the lockers this morning…then you ignored me…"

"I was late. A little," I mumbled.

"Where are you staying? What happened last night? Your parents called mine a dozen times, asking about you."

_Huh. Did they really think I'd run off to Bella? I had left with Jasper, couldn't they put two and two together?_

"It's a long story. I'm tired." I let my head fall on the desk. I turned my head so I could see Bella eyeing me, still worried. "I'm staying at Jasper's."

She relaxed, and didn't say anything else for the rest of the class. For the first time in my life, I didn't want class to end. I'd have to face Bella and her billion questions.

"I'll see you at lunch," I said as soon as the bell rang.

"You bet your perky little ass you'll see _and_ hear me at lunch!"

I'd have been amused any other time at her words, but I knew she meant business. Though, I had to make her see I meant business too.

"Honey, I'm tired, and not only physically." After kissing her cheek, I made my way to English.

It had been a hell of a weekend. Jasper had managed to distract me yesterday with all kinds of things, from trying to make omelets and failing miserably, admitting he'd never done it before, to making up for the burned breakfast by taking me against the counter. Later in the day, he introduced me to some action movie he liked, and I was quickly sucked in, loving it instantly. Then at night, he fucked me seven ways from Sunday, and tested how many times I could come then get hard and come again, and again, and again.

When I stepped into class, I spotted Alec. He was in his usual seat, next to mine. It was worth a shot to see if he liked Bella, too.

Slumping in my seat, I pondered a way to start a conversation. He kept glancing at me, playing nervously with a pen.

Bingo!

I leaned closer, angling my chair toward him. "Hey, do you have a spare pen?" I asked, planting a smile on my face.

His blue eyes widened and he looked around furtively, then at me. "You're talking to me?"

_No, to the Fairy Godmother_, I wanted to say, but bit my tongue. Though, his words proved he was a loner just like us. I wouldn't mind him joining our little duo.

The first time I'd seen him at our school I thought he was this bad boy with his long black hair and black clothes. As time passed, he never talked to anyone and kept to himself as much as possible. I'd definitely be the same if I didn't have Bella.

"Yeah. Do you?"

"Uh, yeah." He reached for a pen on his desk. "I hope you don't mind it's black."

"Nah." _I hate when my pen isn't blue, but whatever_. "Anything will be good. You see, my friend, Bella, she loves to steal my pens." I lied through my teeth.

"Maybe she likes you. Girls do silly shit to get a guy's attention." He glanced at me. His cheeks were still slightly pink.

"Oh, no. That's impossible."

If only he knew. Lying about Bella stealing my pen wasn't my brightest idea. Truth be told, it was the other way round, but in my defense, she always had pretty pens.

"You'll never know," Alec said softly. "Especially if you're friends."

"Exactly. It will never work, besides I'm not interested."

_What the hell am I doing?_ I never told anyone about being gay, no one at school…or anywhere else.

For some odd reason, I wanted him to know, but it was probably because I wanted them to work out.

"She seems like a nice girl," Alec mentioned after a few minutes.

"She is." I grinned. "Maybe you can join us for lunch. I've noticed you eat alone."

"You did?" he asked, turning redder.

"Don't worry. You're welcome to join the Loner's Club." I chuckled nervously.

"Like The Beatles song?"

He knew music, and I immediately became interested. This Alec wasn't bad at all. "Close enough. I just said that…but yeah, like _Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band_."

"I'd like it—to join you. Are you sure your friend won't mind?"

"Positive."

We turned our attention to the teacher, who finally started the lecture. Alec glanced at me throughout the class, and when I caught his eye, he blushed and looked away.

Jeez. Was I so intimidating? I doubted it.

When class let out, Alec said he'd meet me in the cafeteria. I didn't question his quick departure. I had to drop my books by the locker, too.

Bella was already at our table with food for both of us on a tray.

"Hi, hon!" I ruffled her hair. "How are you?"

"Feeling mighty fine, are we?"

"Yup." I beamed at her. I was stalling.

"Spill, Cullen." She tapped her nails on the top of the table.

Rolling my eyes, I summed up the events of Saturday night. She gaped at me like a fish out of water.

"Who are you and what have you done to my best friend?"

I laughed, pushing the glasses up my nose. "It's still me. You know how I am, Bella. I can fool everyone with my innocent appearance, but if someone steps on my toes… They'll see my not so innocent face."

"But they're your parents!" She looked scandalized. "How could you…?"

"First, they came in my room without knocking. It's not exactly my fault they stayed rooted in the doorway. Anyway, I could care less for them. They didn't show up to the most important thing in my life."

"Maybe they have a good reason. Something must have happened for them to leave so suddenly."

"Not you, too!" I groaned. "Are you smoking the same thing as Jasper?"

Her lips twitched up. "Speaking of him…"

"Yes?" I bit my cheek to keep from smiling.

"Shacking up together?"

"Yes, we're living together. Not for long, apparently. He doesn't like roommates."

"Thought so. He won't change for you."

I was about to protest and tell her about my plan to convert Jasper to a monogamous lifestyle, when someone placed a tray on the other side of the table. Annoyed at being interrupted, I raised my eyes to glare at the intruder. A pair of weary crystal blue eyes stared back.

_Oh, shit. I forgot about him._

"Does your offer still stand, Edward?" Alec whispered, his whole face burning.

"Yeah. Sorry. Sit down." I waved him to the chair. "Bella, you know Alec, right? He's having lunch with us, if that's okay?"

She looked dazed, but nodded.

It didn't take long for them to start talking, even though he mostly addressed me, but he did laugh with Bella when I sprayed soda on my face. Alec probably felt more comfortable talking to me because he liked her too, and was too shy to speak directly to Bella. I was going to use my unknown matchmaking skills and make them a couple.

After lunch break, Alec went to his Chemistry class, and Bella and I walked together to Biology. I noticed a spring in her step, and it made me happy—for three seconds—because then she said the most terrifying thing.

"Oh gosh! He's so cute, isn't he?"

"Totally." I nodded vigorously, happy she liked him. _Then_ she dropped the bomb.

"He fancies you big time. He couldn't take his eyes off you!" She clapped her hands, nudging me with her elbow.

"W-wh-at?" I halted my steps. We were in the middle of the hallway, but I didn't care.

"Uh, don't be mad, but he asked me last week if we were a couple," Bella whispered hurriedly, pulling me along, making me move.

"What did you say?" I asked fearfully. I was on autopilot.

"I said not exactly. I was covering your ass, but then I noticed the way he looked at you."

I gave a shaky laugh. "I'm such a moron. I saw you looking at him on Friday…"

"And you thought I was into him? You don't know me that well then." She turned my head to the other side of the hallway. "Now, that is my type!"

"Jacob Black?" I asked, revolted. His body wasn't exactly something ripped from a magazine. I'd seen him naked in the locker room.

"What's wrong with him? He's so dreamy. Emmett, too." She nodded to the other football player.

Emmett McCarty looked better, I had to admit, but… "Big and burly doesn't do it for me."

"Your loss, my gain."

I laughed, wrapping my arm around her neck and walking to the class.

"So, Alec's into me?" I snorted at my own choice of words, making Bella dig her elbow into my side.

"Moth to flame. You should give him a chance. He's your age," she said uncertainly.

"Bella, I love Jasper. We're living together now…hopefully, we'll make it work. I'm trying to make him change. He's thirty. How long can he keep this sleeping around thing?"

"Some people don't settle down. Especially…your kind." She threw me a smile as we stepped into the classroom.

"My kind?" I tried to fight a smile.

"You know what I mean!"

I nodded. We were always careful at school, but the way she dodged the subject was ridiculously funny.

"Do you think Alec knows? About me, I mean."

"No idea. I can find out."

"Thanks, Bella."

When school let out, I decided to pay Ms. Hale a visit and apologize for my behavior on Saturday. I walked to her house, arranging my thoughts and trying to find a good explanation for changing the song. I also went over the conversations I had with Alec—so far—trying to remember a detail that gave him away on liking me. Maybe it was his blush, or the way he kept eye contact as we talked.

I didn't want a relationship with him. I didn't want anything with anyone other than Jasper.

It took me roughly an hour to get to Ms. Hale's house. I even bought her flowers—lilies, her favorites. Ringing the bell, I waited, tapping my foot on her doormat.

She answered after a long while, about when I was ready to leave. I'd never seen her so...negligent. She always looked impeccable in her customary cotton dress and that bun at the back of her head. Not today. Ms. Hale wore a red satin bathrobe, her blonde hair was all over the place, her make-up a little smudged, and I immediately looked away. I definitely interrupted something.

Ew. Gross.

I thought she was this uptight, frigid bitch. I never realized she had someone.

"Do we have an appointment, Mr. Cullen?" She looked almost hostile, but at the same time, wary.

Odd. "I'm sorry." I offered her the flowers, glancing at her sheepishly. "I didn't realize you were…busy."

She smiled, lifting the bouquet to her nose. "My favorites."

"Can I explain my behavior?"

"I'm sure it has to do with the absence of your parents. I have something for you. Come in."

So she was alone, after all. I doubted she'd have let me in with her lover somewhere in the house.

"Surely, they didn't accept me," I said, slightly surprised. If I still got in Juilliard after the stunt I pulled…

"No, I'm afraid Juilliard is off the list. For now. You can always try again next year." She led me to the living room. On the way, she pulled her hair up in a ponytail and I noticed a hickey on her neck. Huh.

Bella would love to hear about this. She'd met Ms. Hale only once when she picked me up one day, and she thought my teacher was a vile person. She even went as far as to guess my teacher was still a virgin and had a dozen cats. I hadn't seen cats around, and I couldn't tell about the other thing. Until now.

On the big piano was an envelope. The white of the paper stood out in contrast with the black piano.

"It's for you from the Pittsburgh Opera. I explained why you left when they wanted to speak to you. I told them you weren't feeling well."

That was very nice of her. She covered my ass. She wasn't that bad. "They want me to…what? Play for them?" I stared dumbly.

I really couldn't take any more shocks.

First, my parents. Second, being homeless—temporarily living with my supposed boyfriend. Third, Alec being into _me,_ when I wanted to hook him up with my best friend. And now this?

"Yes." Ms. Hale winked. "Take it. Open it. Read it. Call them."

I clutched the envelope in my hand, feeling rather shaky. I must have been pretty good for them to want me to play at the opera house.

"Rosie, I have to go," a voice I knew from somewhere said from the hallway.

When I looked over, I gasped. Shock number…I lost count. Emmett McCarty, quarterback and senior, stood at the foot of the stairs, dressed as he'd been hours ago at school, but looking a little rumpled.

_Holy shit!_

"Emmett, I told you to wait upstairs. Edward, I'm sorry. I can't stop you from saying anything if…"

"Don't worry. I won't say a thing," I blurted.

So McCarty and I had something in common—we liked older people, and we visited Ms. Hale regularly, but for different purposes.

"You better not!" he threatened me, narrowing his eyes.

"Emmett!"

He immediately shut up at her stern voice, and looked down. Huh. Someone could tame the oaf.

"Thanks for this." I waved the envelope before sticking it in my bag. "I better go."

"Thank you for coming over to explain yourself. See you on Thursday?"

"Yeah. I'll call if I can't make it."

As I left, I heard Emmett questioning her about my visit, but she placated him. As I hailed a cab at the corner of the street, I couldn't shake off the feeling that something strange was going on between them.

After giving the cabbie Jasper's work address, I settled in the backseat. The ride wasn't expensive and I could afford it, but my pocket money would soon be gone. I had to think seriously of a way to earn my living.

The clinic's building was maroon and modern looking. It wasn't grand, but not small either. The frames of the big window were ruby red.

As I walked to the door, I noticed Jasper outside, pacing and smoking. He had lost his jacket, and I wondered if he was cold.

When he hung up, I approached and placed a hand on his arm, standing on my toes to peck his mouth.

"Hi."

"Jesus." He looked at me startled.

"Not quite," I joked. "So, not used to random guys kissing you?"

"No." He leaned closer, nudging my nose. "Good thing you're not some random guy."

I smiled, kissing him, happy to be back in his arms. This time he kissed me back, placing a hand on the back of my neck.

"FAG!"

I jumped, startled. I'd heard that voice a little while ago. Emmett McCarty had followed me. The fuck?

I turned to glare at him, feeling slightly more courageous in Jasper's arms, but not enough to shout back. I had plenty material to throw back at him after seeing him with Ms. Hale, but I couldn't find it in me to say anything.

He knew. The whole school would know by tomorrow.

"Do you know that guy?" Jasper sounded upset.

"From school. Tomorrow's gonna be awesome."

He hugged me tightly, turning us around and walking inside the building. "I'm sorry, Pretty Boy."

"Not your fault. They'd have found out sooner or later."

"Come. You can do your homework in my office while I meet my next appointment."

"Don't you have confidentiality stuff?"

"I meet my clients in the consult room. My office is not for strangers."

He led me down a long corridor, paved with light brown tile. On the walls were different paintings at regular intervals. Some of them portrayed people—maybe important doctors? I had no idea.

"Hold on." He stopped at a door and knocked, then opened it a little. The nameplate read Dr. Peter Peterson.

His parents were definitely uninspired when they named him.

I saw Peter in there with a woman going over some paperwork.

"Pete, come here a sec," Jasper said softly. "Charlotte, you left the reception empty again," he added to the woman. She scowled, grabbed the papers and strutted out the office, mumbling about inconsiderate bastards.

When Peter joined us, he winked at me, making me flush. "Hey, kid! What's up?"

"Not much," I mumbled, feeling like the awkward _kid_ I was. I wished Jasper or his friend wouldn't see me as a kid.

"If you two are done…" Jasper side-eyed me, looking slightly irritated. "Good." He turned his attention to Peter. "Rile just called. He's not well. Again."

"Are you taking him to the hospital? I can't leave now," Peter said, worried.

"I'm babysitting." Jasper pointed to me.

"If it's important, don't mind me. What's wrong with Riley?"

"He ran out of meds and tried some shit that fucking Demetri has," he told Peter, not minding me.

"Ran out of meds? Why doesn't he go to the hospital for more? I'll never understand him."

"You know Rile. Says he'll be okay, that he feels better." Jasper turned to face me. "You sure you don't mind? We'll be at the hospital for a while."

"Sure."

"Let me know how he feels," Peter said. He went back into his office, promising to drop by at the hospital later.

Jasper avoided answering my questions about his sick friend. I had no clue what was wrong with him. He left me in his office, instructing me not to touch anything and just do my homework.

While I was alone in his spacious office, I couldn't help but notice how…cold the place was. The walls were a light blue with a few paintings of different cities hanging here and there. His desk was sturdy, made of mahogany wood, and there was a spinning chair of which I took full advantage and spun until I got dizzy. There was also a black leather futon with a plant next to it. I couldn't see any personal effects, no pictures or trinkets like other people usually put in their offices.

An hour later, we were in Jasper's car, on the way to Riley's, who wasn't answering his phone. Jasper had to use the spare key to get into his friend's apartment. He immediately ran toward what I presumed was the bedroom, and I walked into the living room.

"Oh, shit! Jasper!" I called, finding his friend lying on the floor.

He'd fallen over the glass coffee table, and had a big gash in his arm, oozing blood. He seemed to be unconscious.

As I bent to check his pulse, Jasper snatched my hand back. "No!" he shouted, looking white as a ghost. "Don't touch him." He gave me a pained look.

I stared at him, surprised. It didn't look like a request a friend would make, and it didn't have any hint of possessiveness in it, which meant Riley was really sick.

Jasper sighed, staring sadly at his friend, before he handed me his phone. "He's HIV positive. Call 911 for me, will you? I need to find some blankets to keep him warm, and try to wake him up."

After I called and was told an ambulance would be there shortly, I stood aside, watching Jasper caring for his friend. He didn't look at all like the guy I met at Rainbow.

"I'll understand if you don't want anything to do with me or my friend," he murmured, holding a bottle of cologne to his friend's nose. "Come on, wake up, sweetie."

His voice broke my heart. "Why wouldn't I? Because he's sick? So what?" I couldn't believe he thought that. This was reality, after all. There were always risks.

"You're brave." He threw me a small smile.

Riley came around, looking confused. "Jazz… What happened?" he slurred.

"You fainted. Stay here." He held him tightly. "We're taking you to the hospital."

* * *

**dum dum dum...  
**

**Thoughts? :)**

**See you on facebook, or twitter or my website...wherever it's easier for you. ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

_I don't need no sympathy  
I won't cry and whine  
Life's my light and liberty  
And I shine when I wanna shine_

**Adam Lambert – Trespassing**

In the short time I'd known Jasper, I never saw him so worried and agitated. He kept pacing the length of the waiting room floor like a caged animal.

I'd tried to get him to calm down, but he shrugged my hand off and pointed to the chair, indicating I sit down.

A half an hour after we brought Riley with the ambulance—actually, I drove Jasper's car while he rode with his friend—a doctor came into the room.

"Riley Biers?" the doctor asked, looking around.

Jasper pivoted on his left heel and rushed to the man in the white coat. "How is he? Is he…okay?"

"Are you his next of kin?"

"As close as you'd get to that."

"I'm sorry, sir. I can't tell you. He's critical. Only family—"

"Bullshit!" Jasper yelled, scaring everyone in the room.

"Sir, you need—"

"If his parents cared, he wouldn't have ended up on the streets, selling his body for food, which led to him getting the virus. So don't give me bullshit that you allow only family in there. They don't give rat's ass about him!"

The doctor gaped.

The information was news to me, too. I liked the way Jasper stood up for his friend. It showed he cared, that he had the capacity to care for someone enough to risk getting hauled by the police for disobeying rules.

"I didn't catch your name, sir," the doctor said after a moment.

"Dr. Jasper Whitlock. You?" He straightened his jacket, looking down at the doctor with cold blue eyes.

"Dr. Garrett Lewis. I am afraid the policy won't allow you to visit your friend."

I thought he was going to let Jasper see Riley, but no. When Jasper sighed in defeat, I advanced toward them, determined to make justice.

"Excuse me. Riley is a common friend, so let me put it this way, doc." I stood in front of Dr. Lewis. We were about the same height. "What if it was you in Riley's place? Would you like to see your best friend—the only person who cares about you—or your parents, who turned their back on you when you told them you were gay?" I had no clue what happened between Riley and his folks, but I was sort of talking from personal experience.

Dr. Lewis looked me in the eyes as I talked, and with every word out my mouth, I could see his resolve breaking.

"Alright, but only Dr. Whitlock goes inside. And only for a few minutes. Room 293." He left the waiting room as soon as he was finished talking. Some of the people clapped at our small victory.

Jasper cupped my face with one hand. There were tears in his eyes. "Thank you, Pretty Boy."

"Go. You're wasting precious minutes. I'll wait outside."

I walked outside and sat on a bench, waiting for Jasper.

What a day. After all the shocking news I'd had since Saturday, Riley's sickness blew me away. It opened my eyes more to the world—my world. I never suspected he was sick or carried such heavy baggage about his family when I met him. We'd talked for a short while, but he seemed so normal.

Bringing my knees up to rest my chin on top of them, I wondered what would come of me. I knew Jasper wasn't that cruel to kick me out, but I'd definitely be in his way.

_What am I going to do?_ I'd have to face my parents, and I was afraid I'd end up back in that suffocating house, having to hide who I was and ignoring all our problems.

Someone sat next to me, and when I looked up, I noticed Jasper. He stared at me with a look of awe in his eyes. It made me nervous.

"Thank you."

I rolled my eyes. "Stop thanking me. The doc was being an asshole."

"No one made him think like that before. Us, doctors, we don't put ourselves in the patients' shoes."

"You'd probably end up your own patient if that was the case." I chuckled, reaching over to take his hand. He cracked a small smile and squeezed my fingers, before folding his hands in his lap, crossing his legs at the knee. "How's Riley?"

"He has to stay for a couple days."

"Good." I had no idea what to say, or where to start asking questions.

He suddenly stood. "Come," he said over his shoulder, already walking away.

At his house, we showered separately. I was on the edge of the bed, fiddling with the blanket when Jasper stepped into his room, towel around his hips, water glistening from his chest. He stopped in his tracks and eyed me curiously.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to say goodnight," I lied, walking out of the room. It was clear in that moment why my things were in the guest room. He'd casually moved them while I showered, telling me in passing where they were.

He didn't want me anymore. We were going to be housemates.

Shame burned my cheeks as I made my way down the hall, hoping to hear him calling me back. It didn't happen.

I was tired after the crazy day, so I fell asleep quickly, without thinking too much about the day's events.

"Wake up!" Loud knocking on my door pulled me from a glorious dream. He didn't come in, so I managed to fall back in state between sleeping and reality.

"Are you up?" I heard Jasper saying outside the door.

_Yup. Definitely. A part of me is up, the rest, not so much._

I flopped on my stomach, groaning a response I couldn't decipher myself.

A stinging on my ass had me jumping a mile in the air, my heart beating wildly in my throat.

"Get up, already! We're late. It's seven fifteen," Jasper hissed, but when I turned to look at him, I saw he was entertained by my groggy self.

"Sheesh," I mumbled, rubbing my ass. Then my brain worked out the time, and I jumped to my feet, forgetting about my morning wood.

His eyes went down south before pointing to the bathroom. "Hurry up and brush your teeth. You can borrow whatever from my closet. We'll stop at a bakery on the way to get breakfast."

"I need to get a job," I said thoughtfully, yawning. "If I'm going to live here—"

"You're not," he interrupted me. "I'm taking you back to your parents at the end of the week."

"What? No. You can't." I panicked at the thought of going back there.

"We don't have time to fight, Pretty Boy." Jasper patted my cheek before disappearing from the room.

We left within fifteen minutes. Jasper drove like a bat out of hell. The three minutes stop at the pastry place gave me enough time to settle my heart and prepare for the rest of the drive.

Returning to the car, he thrust a brown bag at me. "You have a blueberry bagel there. I hope you like it."

"Thanks," I mumbled, embarrassed he had to buy me stuff. When I opened the bag, his hand stopped me, encasing my wrist in an iron grip.

"No crumbs in the car."

I nodded, keeping the bag in my hand and looking out the window. He pushed past two yellow lights and definitely over a red one, but it was five to eight when he parked in the school's lot.

"Shit!" I slapped my forehead, realizing it was Tuesday.

"What?" He frowned, drumming his fingers on the wheel.

"I have violin lessons after school."

"Yeah…" He raised an eyebrow.

"I left my violin at your place." I turned red, hoping he wouldn't think it was a scheme to make him late.

"I'm sorry I rushed you, Edward." Jasper bent to search for something in the glove compartment, and I had no idea if that was his way to dismiss me, or he had something for me.

As I turned to open the door, he pressed something small and cold into my hand, closing my palm around it. "Be careful with it."

I looked at the object he gave me, and was shocked to see the spare key to his house.

"Do you have money for a cab?" Embarrassed, I shook my head, stuffing the key in my school bag. "Here. We'll talk tonight." He handed me some cash.

I nodded, taking the money as well. I had no idea I could feel worse, but I did.

When I left my home and decided to live with him, I didn't expect Jasper to be my sugar daddy.

"Hey, I'm sorry." It was as if he could tell I felt awful. Grabbing my chin, he turned my head to him. "My head is miles away. I'm worried about Rile."

"I get it." I leaned closer and tentatively pressed my lips to his. He kissed me back, rubbing my cheek.

When he pulled away, I opened the door and got out. If I looked back, I'd either say something he probably didn't want to hear or I'd burst in tears. As it was, I was barely keeping the flood under control.

Jasper acted sweet now, but I could tell he was distancing himself. It was something new for him to have one of his tricks around for so long, but I kept lying to myself that I was the exception and he liked me around.

I noticed Emmett McCarty staring at me from the other side of the parking lot, flanked by the football team. His eyes moved to someone behind me. It was my moment to escape, but the sad part was that the situation worsened.

Jasper was calling my name, and when I turned slowly to face him, I found him a foot in front of me.

"You forgot your food." He handed me the brown paper bag.

"Oh, yeah," I said, taking it awkwardly from him.

When he didn't leave, I raised my eyes and got caught in his blue pools.

"No!" I mouthed, panicked as he moved closer.

Thankfully, Jasper understood my apprehension, and after brushing my cheek, he turned to walk to his car, smiling over his shoulder.

Butterflies erupted in my stomach. He did care for me.

The euphoria didn't last too long, as it was now killed by the football team calling me names from across the lot. Jasper was already in the car, backing away and couldn't hear them.

Like the coward I was, I rushed inside the school and locked myself into a bathroom stall, crying my heart out.

I didn't emerge for two hours. That was what I'd been dreading—people finding out and considering me a freak.

On my way to Calculus, I found Bella at my locker.

"Honey!" She wrapped her arms around me, making me sniff loudly. "I'm here. What happened? Did they do something to you?" She pushing me to arm's length and looking me up and down.

I only shrugged.

"How do they know?"

"It's a long story," I mumbled, stuffing my bag in the locker, keeping only a pen and my Math textbook along with a notebook.

"Tell me."

During class, which was boring as ever, I told her about my discovery the previous day. Her eyes nearly bugged out when she heard about Ms. Hale's affair with McCarty. But when I continued, telling her how Emmett followed me and saw my encounter with Jasper, she became agitated. I made her promise me not to take my side. I'd hate to see her hurt because of me.

English was the only class I didn't share with Bella, but sadly, I had Emmett there…and Alec. Which one was worse, I had no idea.

I stepped cautiously into the classroom. My nemesis wasn't there.

Slumping in my seat, I pulled out my book to keep busy. When someone sat next to me, I glanced up to find Alec smiling at me.

"Hi. Everything okay?"

_Did everyone know? How fast does the news travel?_

"Hi. Yeah." I cringed when Emmett strutted into the room as if he owned the place. His eyes zeroed in on me and he smirked.

I shrunk into my chair when he approached my desk, planting his palms on the top of it, leaning closer. He noticed Alec and a demonic smirk appeared on his face.

_No. Do not drag him into this!_

"Two fags sitting in a tree…butt fucking."

Anger flared up inside me. My fists clenched under the desk, but I was too cowardly to say something.

"You're a fucking disgrace, Cullen!"

"Fuck off," I muttered under my breath, envisioning myself smashing his head against the wall. _Get the fuck away from me._

"What was that, fag?" McCarty leaned even closer, looking angry.

"He said fuck off. So get lost already!" Alec snapped. "Leave him alone."

"Oh, isn't this nice? Are you his lawyer?" Emmett's eyes flashed with something dangerous. "Does your boyfriend know about your high school affair?" He pointed to Alec.

If I had the courage, I'd have said something about Ms. Hale, but since I was too much of a wimp to even look him in the eye, I didn't say anything besides, "Just leave."

"Pussy." He stalked off, proud he'd made another victim.

"You shouldn't have done that. Now he'll hate you, too," I told Alec.

"He insulted me too with those accusations."

"Which I'm sorry for. You probably want to stay away from the queer, too."

"Uh, no. I'd rather stick to you. We can make a team against him, and his like." Alec leaned closer. "I'm gay, too."

My suspicions were confirmed. Bella was right.

"Well, in that case… I'm still sorry I dragged you into this."

When class let out, we walked together to cafeteria and sat at the same table. I munched on the bagel Jasper got me for breakfast, while Alec ate his sandwich.

"Does anyone know? Your family?" I looked around for Bella. It was unlike her to be late.

"Only my family. They're cool with it. Maybe too cool in Mom's case." He cringed.

"Oh, must be nice, though."

"I take it you're not out."

"Apparently, I am…forcibly shoved out the closet and thrust into the wolves' mouths."

A tray slapped against the table as Bella fell into the chair next to me. "If one more person asks whether or not I know if the guy I used to hang around is a fag, I'm going for the jugular."

"I wish I took your advice from the beginning of the year, and pretended we were a couple," I admitted.

"They'd have seen you with Jasper sooner or later." She rolled her eyes. "Oh, hey, Alec." She finally noticed him. After giving him a small smile, she turned to me. "Speaking of Jasper, what was up with him this morning?"

"You saw us?"

"Honey, everyone saw you. By the way, Jasper bringing your forgotten lunch was the cutest thing ever!"

I turned red. "It's my breakfast, actually. Anyway…he has some problems."

I didn't want to tell her about Riley, especially not in front of Alec, who was watching us attentively. I could tell it didn't sit well with him that I had someone, but what the fuck ever.

* * *

**See you on Wednesday for the teaser. ;)  
**

**Also, I'm thinking of Jpov of the beginning of the story as an outtake for LLS fundraiser. What do you guys think? An Outtake is the best option since I have no idea what else to write...**


	7. Chapter 7

_I can't deny what I believe  
I can't be what I'm not  
I know our love forever  
I know, no matter what_

**Boyzone – No Matter What**

I was late for my violin class, but Mr. Brown was cool with it. Frankly, I had no idea why I still bothered with these lessons. I was damn good with the fiddle. I even taught a few classes of his younger students when Mr. Brown got pneumonia last year.

I guessed it was routine and it would be difficult to break it.

We mostly talked about the piece I'd written a couple weeks ago, and tried making it sound good.

When I got back to Jasper's, he still wasn't there.

I threw some pasta in the water and heated the contents of a can of sauce I found in his cupboard. Hopefully, he'd appreciate the gesture. I doubted he even knew how to cook. Not like I was master chef, but I'd learned how to fend for myself.

Planting myself in front of the big plasma with my dinner and homework, I did a little bit of both in between watching TV. I was done with the school stuff by midnight when Jasper returned home. Before I could jump up to greet him, I heard two deep voices, talking quietly as they made their way up the stairs. He didn't even turn to look at me.

I wanted to shout at him, to throw the cushion at his head, or preferably something that would hurt him—like my Calculus textbook.

If I was going to live here, was he seriously going to carry on with his manwhoring ways?

Switching off the TV, I picked up the dishes and dumped them in the kitchen sink, then made my way upstairs. I wanted to stomp on the stairs, but refrained. He'd probably kick me out if I made his fuck leave.

Jasper's door was open, and even though the lights were off, I could see their silhouettes. They seemed to be already naked. Not wasting much time to get what he wanted, was he?

The one on top paused fractionally, mid-thrust, head turned to me. Rationally, I knew Jasper was aware I lived there, but I bet he didn't expect me to be awake. He'd been so focused on fucking that guy, he failed to notice I was in the living room earlier.

I hurried down the hall with tears in my eyes.

No one could change Jasper Whitlock.

I pulled a pillow over my head to drown their moans, but it didn't work. If I had the courage, I'd have gone over there and said or done something. As it was, I suffered in silence, crying myself to sleep with Jasper's loud groans in the background.

In the morning, I startled awake by the alarm I had set on my phone.

After hitting snooze twice, I finally closed it and sat up on the bed, stretching and rubbing my sticky eyes. I blinked in confusion when I saw Jasper sprawled in the chair by the door.

_What the fuck?_

_Why is he here?_

_He cares_, a small voice whispered in my head.

Just like that, his behavior from the previous night was forgiven and forgotten, because he showed me he did care. And I cared, too—a lot more than I should. I walked to him and shook his shoulder.

"Hey, wake up."

My eyes drank in his rippled body as he tensed before relaxing. He scrunched his nose, slowly opening his eyes, which widened when he saw me so close.

"Morning, Jasper." I smiled, leaning closer and kissing his cheek. He reeked of scotch and sex.

"Edward." There was remorse in his voice. I hadn't thought him capable of such emotion.

"It's cool. I get it. You're not the type to settle down."

His face fell, and I'd never seen his eyes so sad. "I'm sorry I brought him home. It was wrong of me. Not with you in here." He reached for me, but dropped his hand.

"Your house." I shrugged. "I'm going to shower."

"Can I join you?" he asked softly, standing and stretching.

I nodded, allowing him to pull me out of my room toward his. "Why did you sleep here? Is he still in your bed?"

"They never stay the night."

"I did," I reminded him, bumping his shoulder playfully.

"I was too drunk, and you were out cold. I tried to wake you, which should have been a dead giveaway when you told me _five more minutes, Mom_. Yeah, so I said fuck it and fell asleep."

"I'm the exception."

We stepped into his shower, and I stood to the side while he worked the heat. As soon as the water cascaded down on us, Jasper pressed me against the wall face first and kissed my back.

"Your skin is so soft and perfect."

_I didn't say anything, because what the fuck does a guy say to something like that?_

I only moaned when he kneeled behind me, licking between my parted cheeks. I shivered, pressing my forehead against the cold, wet wall.

"Is this okay?" he asked, nipping at my cheek.

"You kidding?" I groaned as a long finger traced my crack.

"Some guys don't like rimming." His voice was muffled as he answered when he returned to licking around my hole. He'd done something similar a while ago, but nothing compared to this.

_So, that's rimming_. I liked it. "I do."

"Have you had it done to you?"

I couldn't help but snort out. Peeking at him over my shoulder, I could only see his blond head pressed against my ass. "Jasper, you're my first…everything."

"Okay. Stupid question." He chuckled, going back to work.

Between his tongue-fucking skills and his hand pulling at my dick, it didn't take long for me to paint his wall in cum. When I was soaring high from my orgasm, he slammed into me, making me shout his name.

"Did I hurt you?" Jasper checked, stilling his hips.

"No, only surprised me."

"Brace yourself. It's gonna be hard and quick," he rasped against my neck.

**OoO**

At school, he kissed me for five minutes before allowing me to get out of the car. I was lightheaded as I walked inside the building, smiling like a lunatic.

We were okay. Despite everything, I knew he'd always come back to me, and maybe one day soon, he'd only want me.

When I reached my locker, my happy mood dissipated. The word faggot was sprayed in pink on the gray door. Oddly, I noticed it wasn't even spelled correct, missing one G.

My temper flared and probably for the first time, I let it loose at school. They all knew me as the geeky, quiet guy. Well, not anymore. Hear me roar.

"Yeah, so? Got a problem with it?" I shouted, turning to face everyone in the hallway.

The few students passing by stopped and looked everywhere but at me. They probably weren't involved, but they sure felt the same as the idiot who had written the word. I wished McCarty was around to hear me, but as it was, he would definitely catch wind of this. If only I had the courage to confront him, face-to-face.

I stalked to my first class, and when Bella joined me, she simply leaned closer, resting her head on my shoulder.

There were times like this when I appreciated her silent support. It also made me sad she had to go through this because of me.

My high school life had definitely become hell. From the day everyone found out, all thanks to McCarty, I heard various things said about me in the hallways. I tried to ignore them, but it was difficult when some of them shouted the words in my face.

For the rest of the week, I relied on Bella and Alec's support. Alec helped more than Bella, telling me he'd gone through this at his previous school when he came out. I also learned the reason why he moved from there—the bullying. His parents withdrew him from the hostile environment.

I didn't tell Jasper anything that was happening at my school, even though he mentioned McCarty over dinner the other night. My heart did a small jump at the thought he worried about me. I told him he was giving me nasty looks, which was true, but I was afraid to tell him more.

As Saturday rolled by, McCarty and his sidekicks were the last thing on my mind. Jasper was currently pulling up in the driveway of my house.

We walked to the front door and rang the bell. He side-eyed me, pursing his lips.

"You look about to throw up."

"No shit?" I muttered, shuffling my feet.

Mom opened the door and gaped at us for a moment, before pulling me into her arms.

"Edward! My little angel!"

_The fuck? Is she drunk or something?_

I quickly moved out of her embrace, taking Jasper's hand. His big, warm, slightly calloused hand gave me comfort.

"Can we come in? We need to talk," I told her seriously.

She looked nervously at Jasper before nodding. _He won't bite, Mom_. I rolled my eyes.

Dad was in living room on the couch, reading the paper. He folded it neatly and placed it next to him when we stepped into the room. Mom joined him on the couch, while I stood awkwardly next to Jasper, who was leaning against the mantle place.

A few minutes passed in absolute silence. My parents kept their eyes on Jasper, while he casually inspected the photographs on the ledge, ignoring them. He looked amused, glancing between me and a picture of a younger version of myself. It made me turn red.

"Let me introduce you," I blurted, hoping to distract him from staring at my gangly twelve year old self. "This is Jasper, my—" I bit my lip, catching his eye.

_What are you?_

"His lover. I also happen to be a teenagers' psychologist, and I could tell from the minute I met Edward that he has problems at home." He spoke slowly, drawling the words, his eyes never leaving my parents.

"So now doctors fuck their patients?" Dad sneered.

"Carlisle!" Mom gasped, looking about to burst in tears. "Sweetie, you didn't tell us anything. When did you start seeing a doctor? Did he make you pay him in sexual favors?"

"I'm not his patient!" I snapped, scandalized. Jeez. _Did everyone think I was crazy?_ "I met Jasper at a club."

"From the Internet? I told you to never trust anyone—"

"Like, a _real_ gay club. Technically, in front of it, but that's details." I winked at Jasper. His lips turned up in amusement.

He held a hand up when Dad threw him a venomous look. "Before you continue accusing me, I'll let you know I had no idea how young Edward was at the time…we went back to my place."

"You sick son of a bitch!"

"Sir, with all due respect, you should allow your son to speak and keep an open mind. If you must know, it was my idea to come here. He didn't want anything to do with you two after the way you hurt him, not showing up to the most important moment of his life."

I really liked this side of Jasper, so in command and putting my dad in his place. Someone had to do it.

"You can't be serious, darling," Mom said softly, meeting my eyes. "What we walked in…" She shuddered. "…you were obviously being forced."

Anger surged through my veins. "I'm gay. And I like it rough. So what? Jasper makes me _happy_, something you could never do!"

She placed a hand on Dad's leg when he made to stand. "Let's say we try to understand this…gay thing. Do you promise to return home?"

"Gay thing?" I gaped at her.

"And you're forbidden to see this child molester." Dad pointed at Jasper, looking purple with anger.

"You know what? Fuck you!" I spat. "I thought we could talk like civilized people, but apparently I ask too much. Probably the news of having a gay son will drop your rates. Whatever." I glared at my father who stood up, glaring back. Before he could say anything, I went on. "I'll be back in a few days to take all my stuff."

"It's never too late to open your eyes and mind. He's not asking for a lot, just to have his parents' love and support," Jasper told them, leading me out with a hand on my shoulder.

When we reached his car, Mom called my name, running after us.

"I need to know something." She was looking at Jasper. He nodded, not dropping my hand. I quite liked holding hands; we rarely did it. "Take care of him, will you? How old are you exactly?"

Jasper's hand twitched into mine. "I promise to protect Edward. If my age really matters, I'm thirty. Don't worry, I always had his consent."

Mom glanced at me, then to the house where Dad was in the doorway, stoic. She cupped my cheek, rubbing it softly.

"We came, sweetheart. We were there for your recital. The plane got delayed, but we made it, though by the time we could make our way to the backstage, Ms. Hale said you already left."

I stared at her dumbly. They'd come, after all. It made me feel horrible, but I didn't dwell on that. They deserved everything. Maybe this way they'd understand our family needed communication.

"Call me." She hugged me tightly. "I will wait for you to change your mind."

"We'll see about that," I finally mumbled.

In the car, on the way home, I questioned Jasper about his promise.

"It's not like I have a choice, Pretty Boy. Besides, I got used to having you around. As messy as you are." He caught my eye, smirking.

"I'm not," I protested, pouting.

"You are. Dirty dishes everywhere, never doing laundry, and I know you ran out of clean clothes days ago. I'm cool with you stealing my boxers, as long as you don't take my favorites."

I burst out laughing. He gave me a pointed look.

"My Hugo Boss pair was missing this morning."

I peeked at what I had on, pulling the hem of my jeans down a little. "Are they black?"

Jasper tugged at my hem down with one finger. "Yup."

"You'll have them back as soon as you take them off me when we arrive home," I teased.

"Keep them. Besides, we have other plans."

"We do?" I asked, excitedly.

"It's Saturday, which means Rainbow time. Rile is better and he'll join us."

"Awesome!" I missed Riley, and the club.

**OoO**

Rainbow was as loud and packed as I remembered.

We met Riley and Peter at the bar. I was immediately hugged and kissed, offered drinks, and asked tons of questions—it made me dizzy.

Riley was as exuberant as I remembered him. He kept thanking me for talking sense into the doctor. Actually, he used the term hot doctor.I guessed he was going to visit the hospital more often to get his meds, if only for the doctor.

Peter pushed an amber liquid filled glass to me, winking. As I reached for it, grinning, Jasper slapped my hand, taking it and downing the contents in one gulp.

"I promised mommy to take care of you. Drinking heavy alcohol will come in conflict with my vow." He tapped my nose. "As for you, Peterson, you're a fucking idiot. Giving a minor alcohol."

"Let the kid have fun!"

"Yeah, I want to try scotch. Fuck Mom."

"I think I'd skip," Jasper muttered, lighting up a cigarette.

When he wasn't paying attention to us, looking around—probably for his prey of the night—Peter ordered another scotch. I took the glass with both hands, ready to fight Jasper if he wanted to take it from me, then I drank it all.

My eyes watered instantly, my chest burned, and I couldn't breathe right. My coughs alerted Jasper, making him whirl around to look at me concerned. Rolling his eyes when he saw the glass, he simply patted my back and ordered me a bottle of water.

"How about you stick to kid drinks?"

Riley clapped and leaned over the bar, battling his eyes at the bartender, then whispered something in his ear. The man eyed me, amused.

Did everyone want to embarrass me?

A few minutes later, the bartender offered me a blue drink. I eyed it apprehensively. I'd been taught to never drink anything that looked unnatural.

"Try it," Riley urged. "It's a Sapphire Martini cocktail. You'll love it! It's my favorite."

"Are you even allowed to drink?"

He gasped, looking at me in horror. "Of course!"

"Try it." Jasper nudged me with his elbow.

I took a small sip from my glass, and was assaulted by a variety of strong aromas. There was definitely gin in this; I recognized it from Dad. It was his drink of choice. I'd tried it once, out of curiosity, and decided it was yucky. But then again I was about ten when it happened. Now, in whatever combination it was, I loved it.

"Yum." I grinned at my companions who were waiting the verdict.

"Another lost case," Peter mumbled mournfully. He grabbed Jasper by the shirt and led him to the dance floor.

He wasn't going to dance with my man. Not again.

I thrust my drink at Riley, stalking after Jasper and Peter.

"Go gently on him, honey! He's learning!" Riley called after me.

When they stopped, Peter placed his hands on Jasper's hips, bringing him closer. I walked faster, weaving through sweaty bodies.

"He's dancing with me!" I hissed, stopping next to them and shoving Peter away. I really didn't like how close they were, and I didn't care if they once fucked, but Jasper was mine.

"Oh, careful with this one, man—stalker tendencies, house-hogging and possessive. Not good." Peter winked, backing away.

I frowned after him, taking his place in Jasper's arms.

"Seriously, Pretty Boy. We're not boyfriends. We have some sort of arrangement, if you want to name it. I'm free to dance with and to fuck whoever I want."

That was like a stab to my stomach.

Keeping my arms loosely linked around his neck, I moved sinuously against him.

"You're not playing fair." He groaned, placing his hands on my ass.

I smirked, gridding my groin into his. I affected him all right. I could feel his hard dick pressing against mine. He brought his lips down to mine, kissing me deeply, exploring my mouth. Our tongues started a battle of their own, while Jasper kept thrusting into me, finding some form of relief. We were no longer surrounded by people in the club; it was just the two of us, driven by primal need.

The spell broke when someone bumped into my back, pushing me flat against Jasper's front. We gazed at each other for a long moment, before he snapped out of it, taking my hand in a firm grip.

My heart beat wildly as he made his way through the club. I feared we were leaving, but then we went through the door of the Backroom. The room was dimly lit in various dark shades of purple and red. The only sound was the cacophony of moans and groans, accompanied by the heavy smell of sex.

"What…" I wasn't sure I liked it here.

He kept me close, giving dirty looks left and right at every guy who leered at me, and walked with purpose to a spot known by him.

We found an empty wall, and Jasper leaned against it, folding his arms across his chest. I was distracted by his bulging muscles.

He cocked his head to the side, taking a cigarette from his pocket.

I looked around seeing some were fucking, and some were sucking others off. It was debauchery.

Jasper unzipped his pants, pulling his dick out. "Come on, Pretty Boy. Don't keep me waiting."

"Here?" I gasped.

He puffed smoke, pushing a finger against my shoulder until I knelt in front of him. "There are others in line waiting to suck my cock."

Determined to make him feel good and show him we were perfect together, I took his dick in my hand. He was so hard and the veins were bulging out. I could stare at it the whole day, but worshipping it was a better choice.

"Don't just stare. Suck." He grabbed my hair, bringing my mouth closer to his dick. It hurt a little, but it turned me on a lot.

I took him in my mouth—just the tip—and sucked as if it was a lollipop. I glanced at his face when I heard him groan, and what I saw nearly made me come in my pants. I'd never seen such unadulterated pleasure on anyone—his eyes were half-closed, mouth open, head thrown back, and his Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. The hand not stuck in my hair was holding his smoke and placed on his stomach, keeping his shirt up.

Seeing him so vulnerable gave me courage to take him deeper, until he hit the back of my throat.

"Edward," he breathed, bucking his hips.

His dick slid in further down my throat, making me gag. He moaned louder, doing it again and again.

I figured he got off on me gagging, but the more he did it, the less my throat rejected the intrusion. Soon, he was fucking my mouth with wild abandon. Placing his cigarette back between his lips, Jasper put his hands on either side of my head, drilling my mouth. I sat there, taking what gave me. I'd never thought I could enjoy giving a blow job, but this was Jasper. I doubted there was anything I wouldn't do for him.

Suddenly, he stopped, holding my head still, and looking me in the eye, which was so damn sexy, before shoving his dick down my throat. I could feel his cum sliding down my throat. I swallowed reflexively.

"You're going to be the death of me, Pretty Boy."

Jasper pulled me up, kissing me. I tried to pull away, because he could probably taste his dick on my tongue, but he kept me close, deepening the kiss.

I felt his hand travelling down my body, palming my dick through my jeans. "You finished?"

"No."

We immediately reversed positions, but instead of going down on me, Jasper only unbuttoned my jeans and pulled out my aching dick. He spat on his palm before rubbing me. It was the best hand job ever. Of course, all others were courtesy of my right hand, but still.

When we joined his friends, they gave me high-fives for popping my Rainbow Backroom cherry.

I was too embarrassed to say anything.

One good thing came from our backroom visit—Jasper didn't leave my side the whole night.

* * *

**Thoughts? Jasper is changing slowly...without even realizing.  
**


	8. Chapter 8

_Precious people always tell me  
That's a step  
a step too far  
Do you really want to hurt me  
Do you really want to make me cry_

_If it's true  
you do not know  
This boy loves without a reason  
I'm prepared to let you go  
If it's love you want from me  
Then take it away  
Everything is not what you see  
It's over today_

**Culture Club – Do You Really Want To Hurt Me**

"How horrible could it have been?" Bella asked, glancing at me with an amused look.

We were in her room, and I was telling her about Jasper taking me skating, while she painted her nails.

I'd been living with him for a couple months, give or take a week, and he'd never taken me anywhere besides school or Rainbow. Until last weekend.

"If we were alone, it wouldn't have been such a drama, but there were people!" I widened my eyes, remembering how embarrassing it had been to fall on my ass every second I dropped Jasper's hand. My ass wasn't happy, either.

"No shit, Edward? People, in December, at the ice rink?"

"Fuck you," I muttered, nudging her hand. She traced a pink line on her big toe, making me laugh.

"Bitch!" she shrieked, quickly grabbing a tissue to wipe the excess of nail polish.

I gasped, clutching at my heart in mock horror. "How you wound me!"

Mrs. Swan chose that moment to knock on her daughter's door, telling her a friend was looking for her.

"What friend? I'm right here!" I found myself talking, slightly hurt. Obviously, she was allowed to have other friends, but I had no idea she actually had other friends besides me.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Send him in," she answered to her mom.

Mrs. Swan smiled at me, as if saying Y_ou're still her best friend_, before leaving. I bet she suspected I wasn't more than her daughter's friend, hence her allowing me in her room, and even to sleep in here when I spent the night.

"Did you get a hot boyfriend?" I demanded the second we were alone.

"I could have died and you wouldn't have noticed," she said mournfully. "All you care about these days is Jasper."

"Not true."

She gave me skeptic look, but before she could reply, Alec appeared in the doorway of her room, looking slightly embarrassed. Mrs. Swan had caused another victim to her embarrassing comments. I felt for him.

We hadn't talked much during our shared class, and at lunch, I made it a custom to meet Jasper at the small coffee shop across the street. He always cleared his schedule for me, and when he couldn't make it, Riley joined me.

I befriended Riley quickly, and learned a lot about what he did for a living, about his disease, and what his dreams were.

Maybe Bella was right. I hadn't spent much time with her, but I was making up for it now. Jasper was away at a conference, and even though Riley offered to keep me company, I declined. I missed my best friend.

Though, seeing Alec there, I realized she'd become friends with him in my absence.

"I'm here for the book you promised to lend me," he said in a small voice.

"Hi, Alec!" I waved.

"Hi." He stared at his socked feet.

Bella glared at me, and I remembered the guy had a crush on me. I decided to ignore the fact he liked me. It would make it awkward.

"Can you give him _A Christmas Carol_? It's in my bookcase."

I nodded, and jumped off the bed. "You can come in and close the door, or are you leaving already?" I asked, grabbing the book and handing it to him.

Our English teacher had told us to read it and write an essay on it for after the break; which started five hours ago.

"I guess I can stay for a while. If it's okay…"

"Sure. I'm done." Bella beamed at him, capping the small bottle of pink nail polish. "Your turn?" She winked at me.

I scowled, throwing myself back on the bed at her feet. "Honey, gay doesn't mean feminine—not for all of us."

"You suck." She pouted.

"I hear I'm pretty good at it."

Rolling onto my back, I caught Alec's eyes from my upside-down position. He turned red at my comment.

"So, you heard about the party?" Bella asked, ignoring my stupid statement. "We should all go."

"When is it?" Alec glanced at her.

"Tonight. At Jake's house."

"Jake…as in Jacob Black, the jock?" I snorted.

"He's not that bad."

"Whatever. Don't come crying to me when he breaks your heart."

"Funny, I told you the same thing about Jasper not so long ago."

"And it didn't happen."

"No shit? What about him sleeping around with you down the hall?" She raised an eyebrow in challenge.

"We have an open sort of relationship."

"Yeah, right. I always know when it happens, because your eyes are red in the morning."

"He's cheating on you and you're still with him?" Alec was incredulous, having paid close attention to my quarrel with Bella.

"I like to think he's not cheating. It's under my nose, so it's better than if it was behind my back." I shrugged. "You coming with us to the party?" I asked Alec, changing the subject.

They wouldn't understand why I stuck with Jasper. I truly hoped he'd change one of these days.

"If we have time to run back to my place. I'm not dressed for a party."

I waved a hand around. "No one will care. I'm going like this." I pointed to my jeans and sweater.

**OoO**

We arrived when the party was in full swing.

Bella immediately left in search of Black, and Alec and I stuck together, drinking beer.

Half an hour into the party, I was bored, and tired of pretending not to hear everyone talking about me. They were pointing to where Alec and I were leaning against a wall, drinking and talking.

"Wanna get out of here?" I caught Alec's eye.

He nodded quickly, relieved to get out of the house. I grabbed him by the wrist and led the way outside, not even stopping to say goodbye to Bella, who had found Jacob Black.

"What now?" Alec asked as we walked down the street.

"Ever been to Rainbow?"

"Uh, not sure what that is."

I turned to stare at him in surprise. "I thought you were gay, too."

"That doesn't mean I frequent clubs."

"So you know it's a club," I said, smirking.

"I overheard you talking to Bella and she mentioned it to me."

"Want to go?" I hadn't been there in over a week. I missed the club scene.

"Why not? Are we allowed inside?"

I winked, wrapping my arm around his shoulders. "Of course."

A short cab ride later, we were inside Rainbow. A Cindy Lauper song I absolutely loved was playing, so I immediately dragged Alec to the dance floor. He surprised me with his dancing skills.

A shy smile appeared on his face when I caught his eye, after a slow dunk he executed impeccably.

We danced until we were sweaty, and decided to take a break and have a drink.

I ordered a Cosmopolitan, since Riley had me hooked on girly drinks. I didn't drink them all the time, but when I did, it didn't make me feel any different, especially when Jasper or Peter laughed at me. So what if I liked sweet shit?

Alec kept denying me, until I threatened to never bring him here if he didn't at least take a sip and see if he liked it. Obviously, his eyes lit up when he tasted the drink.

I spent most of the cash Jasper had given me, for food at school, on drinks. I couldn't even feel bad; we were having fun.

As the night wore on, we kept dancing and drinking various cocktails. The effects of alcohol were visible on both of us, but I didn't really care. I was having fun. There was no one to take the drink from my hand and push a bottle of water my way, fixating me with icy blue eyes.

When I thought I noticed Peter in the crowd, I told Alec we should go. I didn't want Jasper's friends seeing me there with another guy. I could only guess what they'd tell him, but it wasn't like he was a saint. Though, I had morals.

Slightly drunk and a lot unstable, we stumbled to the main street and hailed a cab. Without thinking, I gave the man Jasper's address.

Somehow, during the ride, something changed between us. Alec swayed, humming along with the tunes on the radio, and our knees kept bumping. He was so warm, and he smelt good. I tried to shove that thought away, but it continued to resurface.

When we arrived at our destination, I paid the cabbie and walked to the front door. It took me a few tries to unlock it, but I managed. Once inside, I punched the code in the alarm and went to Jasper's liquor cabinet.

"We have Jack, Tequila, and Cointreau," I ticked off the bottles to Alec.

"Won't your parents be upset?" he slurred, and flopped down on the couch.

"What parents? I live with Jasper." I grinned at him, grabbing the Tequila bottle. "I've always wanted to try body shots."

Alec turned green.

"Are you going to throw up? Bathroom's down the hall."

"Why am I here? Why are you hurting me, Edward?"

"I want to have a good time," I answered honestly, not understanding his words. How was I hurting him?

I showed him the bottle in my hand. "Come." Taking his hand, I went to the kitchen. "Don't worry. We're alone. Besides, I doubt Jasper will care. He fucks around all the time."

"I don't want to be another fuck. I'm not that drunk." He sounded wounded.

"Can be arranged," I teased, uncapping the Tequila bottle.

"I'm serious, Edward."

Sighing tiredly, I turned to face Alec. He looked devastated, his blue eyes swimming with tears.

Seeing him like that, made me realize I'd always liked him, probably more than a friend or acquaintance or whatever we were.

"I want you, Alec." It wasn't a lie. He was good-looking, and ever since he showed interest in me, I was curious.

Jasper had pushed me to explore around—tonight was the night.

"Really?" He sounded shocked.

"Yep."

He surprised me by taking his shirt off and throwing it away. "Body shots mean I have to be undressed, right?" He gave me a dimpled smile, and my heart stuttered.

"Right." Grabbing half a lemon from the fridge, and the salt shaker, I pointed to the table.

Alec hopped on top of it, still smiling. He truly had a special, sweet smile. If I didn't love Jasper, I could see myself falling for Alec. He was totally my type.

I had no idea in which order I had to do the shots, so I started by licking a trail of salt from his abdomen, then sucked on the lemon before drinking a healthy gulp from the bottle. I immediately felt the alcohol burning down my throat on its way to my stomach.

Repeating the process a few times made me dizzy, so we switched roles. As I lay on top of the table, I started laughing hysterically, for no apparent reason. The room was spinning, and three of Alec leaned over me. His warm mouth pressed against mine. I kissed him back, moaning. He tasted of the Bloody Mary he last had at Rainbow.

After minutes, hours, I had no idea, we went upstairs.

I fumbled through Jasper's top drawer for everything we needed, before pushing Alec on the bed. I covered his body with mine, continuing where we had left off downstairs. Kissing his plump lips was addicting. Whenever I caught his lower lip between my teeth, he made a soft keening sound in the back of his throat. It went straight to my dick.

I kissed up and down his neck, licked his ear, bit his collarbone, and sucked at his nipples, leaving a spit line down his chest until I reached his underwear. Most of our clothes were scattered on the stairs as we had undressed on the way up.

Taking his boxers off, I put him in my mouth, sucking hard. He had an average kinda dick—medium sized and slightly thicker that Jasper's. I could fit him all in my mouth without gagging. He loved the blow job so much, that two minutes later he came down my throat.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"Have you done this before?" I glanced at him, suddenly apprehensive.

"No. Do you top?"

"It will be a first for both of us." I grinned, leaning over him to catch his lips in another kiss.

I took my time lubing him up, as best as I could in my inebriated state. Once he was hard again and leaking, I guessed my job was done right.

Rolling a condom on my dick and coating it in lube, I inched closer to his hole. My brain cleared minutely as I focused on his face. I didn't want to hurt him.

My eyes widened the moment I pushed past the ring of muscles. He was so tight. Fuck. I had no term of comparison, but I knew in that moment why Jasper loved being a top. If I felt anything like this, I could understand why he kept coming back for more.

Alec cringed, clutching at my shoulder. I slid further in until I was all the way inside him. He blew a deep breath.

"Okay?"

"Go slowly."

"Sure." I kissed a spot behind his ear before withdrawing almost all the way out, only to push back in. The motion made my stomach muscles coil up further and my balls to tighten. I was going to come so hard—like never before.

I managed only three jerks of my hips before I exploded, a second after Alec. When he came, his ass muscles clamped down on my cock, taking me with him.

I had enough energy to take the condom off, before collapsing back on the bed next to Alec. He rolled on top of me, hugging me and peppering kisses on my chest.

All the drinking and the powerful orgasm left me exhausted. I fell asleep quickly, with Alec stroking my hair, which put me into a deep, restful sleep.

I was brutally woken up by a pair of strong hands pulling me into a vertical position. It gave me whiplash, and my stomach revolted.

Jasper looked furious. He pulled me out of the room, thrusting a pair of clean underwear at me.

"You fucking piece of shit!"

I eyed him, worried. I vaguely remembered last night. I'd gone to Black's party with Bella and Alec, then I left with Alec and hit Rainbow, then… oh, fuck.

"Have you lost your fucking mind?" Jasper shouted.

I leaned against the hallway's wall for support, willing my stomach to settle and my head to stop pounding.

"Aren't you going to say anything? Did you drink yourself stupid? Fucked your brains out on my bed?"

"I'm sorry," I whispered, shame washing over me. It only worsened the feeling in my stomach.

"I'm taking you to your parents after we take the other kid home. I don't want to see you ever again!"

It was too much for how I felt. I couldn't take it, so I burst in tears, flinging myself at him.

"Jasper, please. No. I was an idiot."

"Yes, you were. You have serious issues, Edward. I can't help you."

"I'm not crazy!"

"My branch of specialty is psychology, not psychiatry. People mix them up all the time."

"I don't need you professionally. I just need you." I sounded pathetic, even to my own ears.

"Oh, I can tell. The second I left town, you went to another." His cold blue eyes glared daggers at me.

"You're such a hypocrite! You always fuck around, but I'm not allowed?"

"Not in my house! Not in my fucking bed!"

My stomach did a somersault, and I cupped my hands to my mouth.

"But don't worry. You can fuck him all you want in your room back at Mommy and Daddy's house. I don't give a shit."

"I'm sick," I grunted, trying not to vomit.

"Yes, what you did makes me sick, too."

"No. I don't feel well," I mumbled.

Jasper eyed me worried. Before he could do or say anything, I bent over and emptied my stomach all over his feet.

"Jesus. How much did you drink?" He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him, feeling woozy.

He walked me to his bathroom. On the way, I noticed Alec was awake, sitting on top of the bed. It made me feel worse.

After a shower, where Jasper helped me, and throwing up once again—in the toilet this time—I managed to get dressed. I sat on the couch with Alec, waiting for Jasper to change his clothes.

Alec didn't acknowledge me, sitting on the other side of the couch, arms folded across his chest.

I had my bags at my feet. This was it. Jasper was kicking me out.

I didn't want to go back to my parents. Apparently, I wasn't allowed to have fun with others like Jasper. It was my fault for doing it on his bed, and not in the guest bedroom, but I doubted that would have changed anything. Me sleeping around was the last straw for Jasper's insecurities.

If he allowed me inside his walls, I'd help with his trust issues. I knew I could make him trust me and show me how much he cared. Maybe in time, I'd have been able to make him love me back, because he was capable of love. I'd seen the way he treated Riley and Peter, and even me. Jasper wasn't aware what some of his actions meant.

But it was all wishful thinking considering I lost the little trust I had gained in the months we spent together. I lost him.

When Jasper joined us, he had fresh clothes on and looked tired. I idly wondered why he was back so early. None of this would have happened if he'd returned later tonight, as scheduled.

After dropping Alec home, we drove to my house.

"Can you answer me one question?"

He shrugged, parking in front of my driveway.

"Why are you back early?"

"You really want to know?" He eyed me skeptically.

I was apprehensive.

"Pete called and told me you were at Rainbow with a friend, and you were both drunk. I was worried, so I took the first plane back. Besides, I missed you, Pretty Boy."

"Forgive me." I sobbed. "Let's go back to your place."

"No. I knew you'd find someone your age. It was a mistake to lead you on for so long."

I huffed. "Alec hates me right now. I want you—only you. Can't you understand that, Jasper?"

"Edward, go to your family. Alec will forgive you. He likes you. What's there not to like?"

"So you like me, too?"

Jasper pulled something from his jacket pocket. "I got you this. I thought of you when I saw it."

I took the small folded paper from him. It contained something long, thin, and hard.

"Open it inside," he instructed.

He helped me take my things out of his car. Before I could do the walk of shame toward the front door, he grabbed my hand.

Pecking my lips, he stared at me sadly. "Goodbye, Pretty Boy."

I was going to miss being called that.

I dropped my bags and threw my arms around his neck, kissing him deeper. "I love you."

Jasper sucked in a breath, pulling away and staring at me, paralyzed. When he regained his senses, he walked to his car, slid in, and drove away.

I stared after him dumbly, with tears rolling down my cheeks. He didn't love me.

Mom was exhilarated to see me back. She thought I was crying tears of happiness.

I let Dad believe I was over the phase of being gay.

I didn't have enough strength to talk to them, so I locked myself in my room and sobbed into my pillow until I fell asleep.

* * *

**Be gentle with me :) All I can promise is that things will get better. You know me. I'm a sucker for HEAs.  
**

**This had to happen. Though, I'm curious on whose side you are. Let me know. **

**See you on Wednesday for the teaser and on Sunday for the update.**


	9. Chapter 9

_I don't need your sympathy  
There's nothing you can say or do for me  
And I don't want a miracle  
You'll never change for no one_

_Now I'm strong enough to live without you  
Strong enough and I quit crying  
Long enough now I'm strong enough  
To know you gotta go_

**Cher – Strong Enough**

"Everyone is worried," Bella said, softly rubbing my back.

I snorted into my pillow, hugging it tighter.

"Edward, it's been a week. You need to leave your room."

"No. I'm going to live here all my life."

She lay next to me, turning my head so I faced her. I could see the concern for me etched on her face.

"We can go to the ice rink. I heard the Penguins have a surprise for the fans."

Tears sprang into my eyes. "Jasper lives for the Penguins. He loves hockey."

"Maybe you'll see him there." Bella winked.

I narrowed my eyes. "He doesn't want anything to do with me! I appreciate it, Bella. I know what you're doing, but stop." I pulled the pillow over my head, blocking away the world once again.

"Honey, I haven't seen you in over a week. Please. We can do whatever you want." I could tell she was pouting without even seeing her face.

Truth be told, I'd missed my friend too, but moping around in my room and isolating myself from the world was the best choice after my breakup with Jasper.

"We can watch a movie," I suggested, knowing she wouldn't stop pestering me unless I agreed to do something together.

"Awesome! There's this new one with Channing Tatum—"

"I meant here. On the laptop. I'm not leaving my room,"

"Edward!" She shoved at my shoulder.

"Take it or leave it." I lifted my head to look her in the eye.

"Fine, but make it a Channing movie."

"_White House Down_?"

"Is he naked in that one?"

I rolled my eyes, knowing what she wanted. "_Magic Mike_, it is."

Bella beamed, leaning over and planting a loud kiss on my mouth.

I pushed her away, wishing she'd stop doing that. I knew it was her way of showing me affection, but it creeped me out.

After I found the DVD, we settled on top of my bed and watched the glorious movie, though unlike other times, I barely paid any attention to the muscled bodies. If I didn't stay focused enough on his face, I could imagine Pettyfer being Jasper. They looked pretty similar.

**OoO**

It took Bella three days to make me leave the house. She told me about clothes on sale at my favorite hippie store.

Being locked in my room for so long, I had lost track of time. Seeing all the Christmas decorations hanging everywhere in town reminded me of the upcoming holiday.

"It's going to sound stupid, but when's Christmas?" I glanced at Bella over a rack of sweaters.

"Tomorrow, silly! Today is Christmas Eve."

"What? You're joking!"

"You're too cute. Don't worry. I forgive you, and your parents understand, too." She waved a hand around.

"You don't get it. I have to buy Alec a forgive me present. Fuck, I've been a total moron. I didn't even call him all this time!" Panic bubbled in my chest.

For the past week, I'd tried concocting a plan to make him forgive me. I knew how it hurt to have your first turn his back on you, and I'd done the very same thing Jasper had done to me, to poor Alec.

"Alec? You don't mean…_Jasper_?" She whispered his name as if it was some classified information.

"He doesn't want me, remember? Oh, look! Isn't this awesome?" I showed her a rainbow sweater.

Bella giggled. "Do you want your mom to have a heart attack?"

"I'm getting it," I said determined.

"You know what you could get Alec?"

I flicked my eyes to her, then searched for the correct size for my sweater, before holding it in front of me to see in the mirror how it looked on me.

"He likes to read and he has great taste in music." She gave me a pointed look, smirking.

I remembered his knowledge of music. "We're going to the music store after this. How does this look?" I caught her eye in the mirror.

It was a little too colorful for me, but even if I only wore it once, I wanted this piece of clothing. It was so _me_.

"You look fabulous!"

I froze for a second at the sound of the exaggeratedly high voice, before turning around to see Riley a few feet away. My eyes darted around, scared to find Jasper somewhere. He wasn't there.

"I'm alone. Last minute shopping," he explained. He approached us, a dozen colorful items of clothing dangling off his arm. "You should get that sweater."

Recovering from my shock at seeing him, I smiled shyly. "Really?"

"Yes. It fits you."

Bella cleared her throat, and I quickly took her hand, bringing her closer.

"Riley, this is Bella, my best friend. Bella, Riley." Introducing people wasn't my thing.

They shook hands, then she offered to take my rainbow sweater to the cash register. Riley looked after her curiously, then caught my eye, rising a brow.

"We're just friends," I told him with a roll of my eyes.

"She definitely likes you a lot."

"Well, that can't happen. Listen, it was nice seeing you…" I tried to make a hasty exit, without twisting the knife deeper in my wound.

There was a reason why I didn't leave my room or the house.

Pittsburgh was pretty big, but considering _our kind,_ as Bella so kindly put it, not so long ago spent most of the time here on Liberty Avenue, it was inevitable to bump into either Jasper or his friends. It hurt.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I tried to warn you about Jasper."

"You also told me I was the exception."

"He misses you." He looked at me sadly. His brown eyes seemed to implore me to do something. Not happening. I wasn't going to Jasper. It was his move, so to speak. "He has no idea what to do with himself, but his pride won't let him admit he needs you."

"So he hasn't said anything about me?" My heart pummeled to my stomach.

"We met at Rainbow the evening of the day you left." I bit my tongue to keep from shouting that I didn't leave, he kicked me out. "He told Peter and me to forget about the ungrateful little bitch."

"Aw, how sweet of him!" Sarcasm kept me from falling to the floor in a sobbing mess.

"Did you say anything to him that day? I can tell something is eating at him. Whatever you said, you hit a nerve."

I bit my lip. My last words to Jasper were crystal clear in my head.

Did they affect him?

Could he really care for me?

Gulping nervously, I met Riley's light brown eyes. "I said…I told him…I loved him," I mumbled, quickly looking away. "I have no idea why I said it. Probably desperation to keep him around?"

Riley rubbed the spot between his eyes. "It's worse than I thought."

"Why are you acting as if I cursed him? Remember, I'm the victim here! This is the first time I've left the house since it happened."

"You two." He chuckled. "You're a match."

_No, we're not._ "Wait. What?" I frowned, confused at why he was saying that.

"Call him, Edward."

"No way!"

"Fine. Suit yourself. Be a stubborn dick." He turned on his heel and headed the other way, browsing through shelves, not looking back at me.

My head was on my conversation with Riley for the rest of our shopping trip. Even Bella gave up asking what we had talked about.

I had no idea what albums Alec owned, so I went with a **Best Of '80's Rock 'n' Roll**. If I hadn't lost track of time so badly, I'd probably make him a compilation of my favorite songs and burn them on a CD, but for now, this CD had to do the trick.

"Can you drop me by Alec's? I'll walk home," I asked Bella when our shopping was done.

"You sure?"

"No. I have to do this, though. I was an asshole to him."

"He blames himself," she mumbled.

"What? How do you know? Did you talk to him?"

"Yes. I'm his friend, too. He thinks he took advantage of your drunken self."

"That's crap." I couldn't believe he took all the blame. It was _my_ fault.

She shrugged. "That's how he feels."

**OoO**

My legs shook as I rang the doorbell of Alec's house. He answered promptly, wearing only a pair of sweats and a loose white t-shirt.

His eyes widened fractionally as if I wasn't who he expected. Of course, I wasn't. "Edward!"

"Hi." I forced a smile.

"Come in." He stepped aside, smiling brightly.

"Uh, no. I just dropped by to say sorry and give you this." I handed him the gift bag. "Merry Christmas, Alec."

"I have something for you, too. But first, would you come in? I'm alone. My parents are at the airport to pick up my aunts."

"Aunts? As in plural?" I stepped inside his house. It felt like home—so warm, smelling of holiday, family pictures on the hallway wall, and Alec smiling at me.

"Yes. I'll tell you another time." He winked.

I nodded, not pushing for information, but I could only guess. If he said aunts, it explained why his parents were so open to him being gay.

I shuffled nervously on my feet, unsure what to do. We'd always had an awkward connection, but now the tension had upped a notch or two.

He looked inside the bag and graced me with the most glorious smile. It lit up his whole face, and his blue eyes shone brightly. "Thank you. Now, my present for you."

Alec placed my gift to him on the small table by the front door, then closed the distance between us. He placed his hands on my shoulders and leaned closer. I could feel his breath on my face. Then he kissed me—full on the lips.

It took me by surprise. When he made to pull back, rejected, I held his head in my hands and deepened the kiss. He tasted of gingerbread cookies.

I was sure we were making a huge mistake, which would hurt us both, but I couldn't get enough of him. Since I kissed him at Jasper's, it was all I could think of when Alec sprung in my mind, aside from feeling guilty at hurting him.

The front door opened, and a short blonde woman gasped, before beaming at us and cheering.

"Taking advantage of being alone?" She smirked, eyes locked with Alec.

He turned red. "Of the mistletoe." He pointed above us.

I hadn't noticed it, but luckily, his quick thinking might have saved us. A little.

When more people appeared behind the woman in the doorway, I knew we were in trouble.

I truly hoped this wasn't his mother, but then again, his whole family was in the house now. A tall man, most likely Alec's dad, closed the door behind the gang.

"Well, introduce us, _beau_." The blonde lady nudged Alec's shoulder.

He turned a few shades redder, stepping closer to me and taking my sweaty hand. Part of me wanted to run for the hills, but another part of me wanted to be there. My brain told me Alec was safe, Alec was what I needed to be happy, but my heart wanted Jasper. Always.

"Auntie Jane, this is Edward."

"That Edward? Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you, sweetie! Alec told me so much about you!"

I side-eyed him, worried. I didn't know his family at all.

He truly was close to them.

In the next couple of hours, I learned a lot about the Lermans. Alec's mom, Sandra, was the most supportive mom of a gay son. Even though I could tell it embarrassed him, I wished to have such a caring and understanding mom. His father wasn't far behind, either. He praised his son left and right, saying how proud of him he was.

Apparently, my friend won a few children's talent awards, having a wonderful voice. Who'd have thought?

When I caught his eye, he shook his head, indicating I wouldn't hear him sing. Too bad.

Then, there was his aunt. Jane was more like his older sister, since there was only ten years between them, and Sandra had brought her up after their parents died. Jane was dating the hottest Parisian, as she described Sophie, who cupped her flamed cheeks.

This was the way a real family should be—visiting, teasing, communicating, loving. A wave of envy hit me hard. I wished my family was half as caring as his, but it wasn't the case.

Mom had come to me daily while I stayed locked in my room, but she not once asked about Jasper, about how I felt. She prattled on about her day, about Dad, about the snow, what we had for dinner.

"I'm so sorry about that." Alec apologized as he led me out of his house.

"It's okay."

"They think we're a couple." He toed some snow with the tip of his boot.

"We could be." I wanted normality. Waiting for Jasper, and hoping he'd change for me, wasn't going to do me any good.

He gave me a skeptic look. "What about Jasper?" Alec hugged himself as if the name hurt him.

"He doesn't care." I cupped his cheek, pressing my forehead to his.

"Promise you won't hurt me. I really like you, Edward. I can't do this if you'll run to him when he decides he wants you again."

"I won't. I won't go. I won't hurt you. I like you, too."

We brushed our lips together, my fingers knotting in his soft, dark hair.

The porch lights blinked on and off, making him huff and me laugh.

"I always wanted to do that!" Jane whined from the other side of the door, covering Sandra's chiding.

"It's going to be a long holiday," Alec said mournfully. "I love Auntie Jane, don't get me wrong, but she drives me nuts."

"You're welcome to drop by my house."

"I'll keep that in mind."

With one last kiss, I departed. Walking home gave me time to think over my decision to be with Alec. I hoped it was a wise to start a relationship with him.

Jasper had told me time and time again to be with someone my age. I truly liked Alec, but I was afraid I'd break my promise to him if Jasper returned into my life. I couldn't say no to him. I'd fall under his spell again—he only had to smile, and I was gone.

I got home in time for dinner, where I told my parents I had a boyfriend. To my amazement, they didn't comment on it. Maybe they only had a problem with Jasper's age.

In my room, I cleaned my desk when I couldn't find my iPod. I wanted to put some carols on it and listen while in bed. After endless minutes of fruitless searching, a chill ran down my spine. What if I forgot it at Jasper's? Fuck, no. Just then, I moved aside a book and found it, along with the unopened present from Jasper.

Perfect.

How could I ever get over him when I thought of him every five seconds, and there was stuff everywhere that reminded me of him?

Considering it was Christmas, I decided to open it and take it as a present. To my disappointment, inside the foil of paper was a leather bracelet. I had no idea what I expected, but that was so…dull.

The bracelet was handmade from what I could see, but nothing spectacular—a common leather cuff.

Laying on my bed with the earphones on, I turned the bracelet over, running my thumb on the soft leather. That was when I felt something on the inside of the bracelet.

Flipping the nightstand lamp on, I squinted at the engraving. It looked like a J. That lone letter shattered me.

Holy shit.

He loved me.

This was his way of saying he loved me. And I ruined everything.

All I wanted to do was run to him and beg for forgiveness at his feet, but I had promised Alec we'd give our relationship a shot. I didn't want to hurt him.

In the process of keeping Alec happy, I'd suffer.

It was time to call Dr. Love. I picked up my phone and speed dialed the number.

A few seconds later, a groggy voice answered. "Hel—"

"Bella, I screwed up." I cut her off mid-answer.

* * *

**It was great hearing from you...your thoughts. :)  
**

**All I can tell you is that things will get better. It's a Jasper/Edward story, but this Alec part needs to be done to help Edward grow up, and Jasper as well. He needs this time apart to understand what he's done wrong. so hold the tomatoes for later. *giggles***


	10. Chapter 10

_Say you won't leave me no more  
I'll take you back again  
No more excuses no, no  
'Cos I've heard them all before  
A hundred times or more_

_I'll forgive and forget_  
_If you say you'll never go_  
_'Cos it's true what they say_  
_It's better the devil you know_

_I'll take you back  
I'll take you back again_

**Kylie Minogue – Better The Devil You Know**

With the beginning of second semester, it seemed everyone knew about me and Alec.

It wasn't like we made a secret of our relationship, but we hadn't gone public either. We had each other's backs, and sometimes, Bella snapped at the odd person staring at us the wrong way.

The Loners' Club was rapidly turning into The Gay Rights Club. A few brave students, more curious than anything else, stopped one of us in the hallway or dropped by our table at lunch to ask questions about being gay. Sometimes, I felt like a rare exhibit at the museum, especially when Alec and I kissed, 'cuz that happened at school, too. We were teenagers, after all, like everyone else.

The sad part was the others' parents weren't called at school if they kissed in the hallway or held hands.

"That was completely humiliating," Mom told me one day when they returned from meeting the principal at school.

"I told you I was dating Alec. Remember? At Christmas. You chose to ignore me."

"We thought you were joking," Dad interjected. "So that older rapist got bored of you, and you moved on to someone your age?"

I balled my hands at my sides. _Fuck you! Fuck you! Stop saying shit about Jasper._

"What about Bella, darling? She's such a sweet girl," Mom added softly when she saw me growing angry.

"If you haven't noticed, Bella is not exactly my type. Heck, you met Alec! He's been here a lot lately. What the fuck did you think we were doing in my room for hours?"

They both looked horrified. Stunned into silence. They didn't even comment on my curse words.

"Of course, you don't care what I do. You never did. I could hang myself in my room. Whatever."

I turned around, ready to head upstairs, when Dad called my name in a tone I'd never heard him use. It sounded dejected, defeated, resigned.

"Yeah?" I frowned, looking between them.

"We'd like to meet this Alec. Properly. His parents seemed like decent folks."

"Uh, sure." It was my turn to be stunned into silence.

A few days later, on a warm early April morning, I let Alec inside my house, ready for the meeting. He looked nervous, and I didn't blame him. I had no idea what would happen. My parents were unpredictable lately.

We sat on the loveseat, holding hands, facing my parents who were on the couch.

It reminded me of the time they met Jasper when he'd tried bringing me back to them, only to understand why I hated them so much and wanted to escape my family. I quickly pushed away that thought.

They'd changed somewhat since I returned home, but not as much as I wanted. We still weren't communicating enough.

As we talked, Mom seemed genuinely curious of what was happening at school and how everyone was treating us. Even Dad commented on how unjust it was to pick on us. It was like picking on nerds. I tried not to point out that I was a nerd and gay; perfect combination for my peers.

All in all, it appeared they had talked to Alec's parents and had done some research of their own, because they knew about us more than I ever told them. Actually, all I'd told them was Alec and I were dating. They knew about our dates, which creeped me out. Alec caught my eyes, confirming my suspicions—his parents had talked to mine.

Mom even promised to keep an open mind about our relationship. It was a huge step, coming from them. The last time we had this discussion, they thought I was being forced. Back then, they couldn't even conceive maybe, just maybe, I really was gay.

"Sandra offered to take me to PFALG club." Mom beamed.

"It's PFLAG, as in Parents, Friends and Family of Lesbians and Gays, and it's part of the LGBT community," Alec explained automatically.

"You don't have to," I interjected, elbowing him in the ribs. She wasn't exactly a supportive parent, and as much as I wanted her to understand me and be there for me, it would be too much.

"I want to learn how to be around you," she answered brightly.

That just showed she didn't really understand me at all. "Be yourself. Like you used to be. I haven't changed, Mom. I've always been gay," I said seriously.

Both my parents winced at the word. It was the first I'd said it so calmly and while holding another guy's hand, but they had to see me for who I was.

It was going to be a bumpy ride, but I got them to at least accept I was gay and allow me to have a boyfriend. I considered that itself as a miracle.

**OoO**

"You sure about this?" Alec shuffled on his feet, stalling.

"Yes. Come in." I dragged him by the sleeve inside Rainbow.

I didn't care if we bumped into Jasper or any of his friends. It was Alec's night and I wanted to have fun.

"You turn eighteen only once." Catching his chin between my thumb and index finger, I pressed my lips to his. "We're going to have fun."

"Drinks on me. The least I can do," he said, caving.

"Okay." I kissed him deeply.

A shot of Vodka later, we hit the dance floor. They were playing _T-Rex—I Love To Boogie_.

Alec moved sinuously against me, after turning his back to my front. His delectable ass kept rubbing against my half hard dick. It filled as the friction became more and more insistent. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and kissed his neck.

Being with him was as easy as breathing. We never did anything that felt forced. Sometimes, days passed without us kissing or sleeping together. It gave me enough freedom, and didn't make me feel chained. He also loved to surprise me with my favorite candy when he noticed my mood was down, or lately, he had a habit of bringing me flowers for no apparent reason. What surprised me the most was how romantic and attentive he was in bed. I had never experienced that.

Alec opened my eyes to how much more there was to a relationship. Fucking wasn't all. Sometimes a guy needed to be wooed, and Alec knew how to do it.

After a few fast songs, a slow one came on, and I turned him around, my arms loosely linked around his neck. I pressed my temple against his, swaying along with the slow beat of the love song. We had yet to say that magic word, but I was comfortable with what we had. Truthfully, I didn't feel that way. I knew he did, though.

Alec twisted his head to press his lips to my ear. "Love me tender, love me sweet."

A shiver ran down my spine at his voice humming along with Elvis. He'd only graced me with his sweet singing voice twice since I learned he knew how to sing.

My eyes opened when I felt an intense stare. Across the dance floor, near the Backroom door, was a pair of dark blue eyes looking my way.

I gulped thickly.

Everything and everyone disappeared for a fraction of second. It was just the two of us.

My chest hurt.

He cocked his head to the side as if regarding his next move, then the spell broke when a shirtless guy stepped in front of him. They quickly vanished through the door, without even a glance behind.

I wasn't thinking right, because if I were, I wouldn't have pulled Alec that way.

"You know what depravity goes behind that door?" he shouted in my ear over the loud song pumping around us.

"Let's find out."

I'd been there only once with Jasper, and it was amazing.

Once inside the Backroom, Alec squeezed my hand. "We could stay here, near the door."

I wasn't paying attention to him. I had a one-track mind—to find Jasper. I walked aimlessly through the corridors of the maze of the room until I saw him. He was already fucking his trick.

Conveniently, there was an empty spot right in front of him. A low wall separated us. I placed Alec's hands on the wall, next to the other guy's, and bent his head down.

"Don't look around. I promise to make you feel real good." I pecked his cheek. "Happy birthday."

"This is exciting, actually," he admitted as I unzipped his pants and pulled them down.

Jasper watched me intensely as I stroked my dick before rolling a condom on. I ripped the lube foil with my teeth, prepping my boyfriend while looking my ex in the eye.

His eyes widened when I pushed into Alec for the first time. I braced my hands on Alec's shoulders, never breaking eye-contact.

Jasper wet his lips and groaned lowly when I picked up pace. He mimicked my rhythm. It was as if we were fucking each other.

My eyes rolled back as heat exploded in my veins. The way he looked at me was enough to make me lose my mind. When I ran my hand through Alec's hair, Jasper noticed the leather bracelet around my wrist. His head tipped back, but he kept watching me through heavy lids, his mouth slightly opened.

My orgasm took me by surprise. I exploded deep in Alec's ass, and fell on his back, moaning too loudly Jasper's name. I heard him coming a moment after me with a short yell, but no name.

Saying Jasper's name in the throes of passion had never happened, not when I was with Alec. I hoped he was blissfully unaware.

"That was hot." He turned to stare at me amazed, face flushed and eyes alight.

As we redressed, I looked around, but only saw the guy Jasper had fucked. He was buttoning his jeans.

I had no idea where Jasper had gone, but I felt horrible. I used Alec to get my pleasure while imagining I was with Jasper.

My insides twisted.

I was such a sick bastard.

"Uh, I need the bathroom," I told Alec once we left that sinful room.

"I'll be at the bar."

At the urinals, I had the misfortune to land right next to my nemesis. He snatched me into a stall, locking the door and pressing me against it, then he kissed me as if the world was ending. I kissed him right back, clawing at his clothes.

Jasper turned me around so I was facing the wall, pushed my jeans and boxers down, before pushing two fingers into me. I moaned loudly, throwing my head back. Even though it itched, considering no one had been there since him, the feeling diminished when he added lube. Then he gave me his cock, and I moaned even louder.

He cupped a hand over my mouth, moving urgently against me.

The whole thing was over too soon for my liking. I hadn't felt so alive since the last time I'd been with him.

I had no clue what just happened between us, not here, not in the Backroom, but it made me feel like we hadn't been separated at all.

After buckling my jeans, I turned around. "I miss you." In front of me was a wall. The stall was empty.

I felt empty.

I questioned if it had been my imagination, but then I saw the used condom floating in the toilet.

Fuck.

It was worse than what I'd done to Alec.

What Jasper did to me…

I turned toward the bowl and retched.

He made me feel cheap.

Why the fuck did he choose to hurt me like that?

I hadn't done shit to him.

So what if I slept with the only guy my age I liked? It happened in his bed. So what? It was a stupid move, but he fucked around a lot. A few doors away from me when we lived together.

I heaved again in the toilet. I never knew I could be physically sick quite so literally.

"You okay in there, sweetcheeks?" A light, concerned voice asked from behind me.

"Yeah." I got up, flushed the toilet, and went to rinse my mouth.

"Did you combine drinks?" The same voice asked.

I raised my head to meet a pair of dark eyes in the mirror. The guy behind me wore mascara and lipstick, and had spiked, short dark hair. He looked decent for a drag queen.

"Yeah, something like that," I lied.

"Is anyone with you here? I'll help you find him."

That was really nice of him. I felt really weak. "Sure. Thanks. I'm Edward," I said, taking his offered hand. I noticed his nails were red.

"Liza."

"Like Liza Minelli?" I chuckled.

"Unless you want my real name—Seth."

"Nice to meet you. So, do you sing?"

"I'm pretty good. Come to my show. This Saturday." He gave me a ticket from his purse.

"Do you mind me asking for two?" I gave him a nervous smile.

"It's plus one." He pointed to something on the ticket. I couldn't see much due to the bad lightening in the club.

"Right. Thanks, Seth. I mean Liza."

He laughed, shaking his head.

"There you are!" Alec came barreling at me. "Oh, hi." He glanced at Seth.

I introduced them before saying goodbye and promising to go to his show.

On the cab ride home, Alec noticed there was something off with me.

"Something happened in the bathroom. Actually, in that room, didn't it?"

I bit my lip, and kept my eyes closed. "Sorry if I ruined the mood. I guess Vodka isn't my drink."

"Bullshit. I saw Jasper."

"You did?" I gasped. I couldn't breathe anymore. He knew.

How was that possible? I'd kept his head down so he wouldn't see Jasper.

"Yeah. He stormed out of the bathroom and headed out the door, bumping into people."

I sighed in relief. "Oh, yeah. How did he look? Angry?"

Alec shook his head, looking at me curiously. "He was far away, but I think…he was…crying."

My heart leapt in my throat then fell into my stomach, shattering into a million pieces.

_Why, Jasper?_

_Why are you an idiot?_

_You love me too._

"We saw each other," I admitted.

"He seemed affected."

I didn't say anything to that.

"Well, this is me. Call me tomorrow, baby." He kissed me goodbye, making the cabbie clear his throat.

_Homophobic asshole._

Once Alec was inside his house, I gave the cabbie Jasper's address.

We had a lot to talk about.

If he thought I wouldn't visit after what he'd done, then he was a moron. _Four months of nothing, and then we meet, and he screws me over. Quite literally._

When he finally opened the door of his house, I'd been standing on his porch for a good five minutes ringing the bell and knocking. He was leaning against the jamb, dressed only in pajama bottoms and holding a bottle of scotch.

"Pretty Boy!" He grabbed a handful of my jacket and pulled me inside.

I stumbled over my feet. My heart did a somersault at the mention of my nickname, but we weren't going to cave for that. No. We were strong and wanted an explanation. Or so my brain wanted to believe.

"You're drunk." I closed the door and locked it behind me.

"Nah. So, whatcha doing here? Did I remind you how it was and you came back for another round?"

"I wanted to talk, but clearly you're too drunk to hold yourself, let alone a conversation." I rolled my eyes when he swayed, looking at me with an entertained expression.

Jasper pointed a finger at my chest, jabbing my pectoral in the process. "You were a naughty boy tonight." He actually giggled.

"Jeez." I took hold of his elbow when he lost equilibrium and nearly toppled over me. "I'm taking you to bed."

"I knew you wanted more. There's plenty where that came from—"

"Shut up, will you? Tonight was a huge mistake." I dragged him up the stairs with a lot of difficulty. I was still a frail teenager, while Jasper was one hundred and eighty pounds of muscle. Once in his room, I sat him on the bed, making sure he was lying down. "Now, sleep it off."

"Don't go, Pretty Boy. Stay a while." He slurred the words, reaching for my hand and missing, which made him pout.

My resolve broke when I saw the state he was in. I didn't remember him being a clingy drunk. He was usually just horny.

As I sat next to him, with my knees tucked under my chin, I contemplated whether or not it was moral to take advantage of his inebriated state and ask the question I wanted. He'd tell me the truth, but I couldn't do that. I'd done enough damage for one night.

After a while, I lay next to him and stared at his ceiling. It reminded me of our first time and his proposal. Well, his ceiling was a boring white.

"Your ceiling sucks," I joked.

It made him laugh loudly. "I can't believe what an idiot I was. I should have known you were too young and innocent to even understand my suggestion of coming over to my place."

"Yup. That's me—little, naïve Edward."

Jasper turned his head to look at me, sobering somewhat. "You're dating the kid?"

"Who, Alec? Yeah. I guess." I kept my eyes on the ceiling, not blinking, not moving an inch.

"He's kinda cute."

"He is." My eyes watered from not blinking, and from the overwhelming emotions attacking me. "I think he loves me."

"Don't you?" He rolled on his side, moving a piece of hair out of my eyes.

"No, but I like him. A lot."

"But you don't love him?"

I met his eyes—wide, curious azures. "Why the sudden interest in my love life?"

"Despite what you think, I want you happy," he murmured, tracing a finger on the side of my face. Goosebumps appeared all over my body.

"You have no idea what I think, what I want. If you cared, you wouldn't have left."

"It hurt like a motherfucker to see you naked in my bed with that kid," he admitted, never taking his eyes off mine.

"His name is Alec."

Jasper stared with a look that clearly said "Your point?"

I cleared my throat, lifting myself a little on my elbow and bringing our faces closer in the process. "Why didn't you come after me? I know you feel something. I saw the engraving on the bracelet."

He seemed surprised by that piece of information. "You did?"

"It's beautiful." I raised my left hand, admiring the cuff. "Thank you."

Smiling, Jasper pulled off my glasses and placed them on the nightstand, before closing the gap between us. His lips were as soft as I remembered. He tasted of nicotine and booze, but underneath that he was still Jasper—my first love.

"I'm so sorry for earlier. I have no idea what came over me. I had to—" He broke off, resting his forehead against mine. "I had to claim you."

"Yeah, it was pretty sick. And I hate to say it, but if you want another go, it's not happening."

He drew back. "Of course, you're dating that guy."

_Alec! What is it with him and avoiding saying his name? _"Alec, yes. Though, that's not why. I mean, it has to do with it, but you see… I don't want to make you feel worse. It kinda hurts," I blurted, looking anywhere but at him.

"Fucking shit!" He cursed, cupping my cheek. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I should have prepared you better, been more careful. Not done it at all!"

I gulped, taking his face between my hands. He had a day's worth of stubble, and I loved that rough feeling under my palms. "You were the only one."

His eyes flashed, then he sat on his knees. "Roll over." He grabbed something from the bedside table. I did as told, too dazed to think straight. "When you say I was the only one…what do you mean?"

The white flag appeared in my head—abort mission. He was too drunk to have that conversation.

I went with part of the truth, when I realized he truly wanted an answer. "I mean, no one's fucked me. There's only been Alec, but I'm the top." _And you're the only one I'll ever love, but it's too soon for you to hear that, _I added in my head.

Jasper cursed under his breath, pushing my pants and underwear down. I felt his cool fingers rubbing some sort of gel along my crack. It made me shift uncomfortably.

"What did I just tell you?" I said, unsure what the hell he was doing. I really wasn't up for round two.

"Will you stay still? It's lotion—to soothe the pain."

"Oh. Okay." I settled, allowing him to do the aftercare. He was so gentle, showing me a side of him I rarely saw.

Jasper might never say the words, but he showed me. He always had—protecting me from my parents, asking if I was bullied at school, buying me breakfast, trying to make me breakfast when he had no idea how to cook, taking care of my hangover ass, even though it hurt him to see me with another, chiding his friends for giving me alcohol, buying me the bracelet.

_I love you too_, I said in my head, closing my eyes.

* * *

**Too much? Too soon?  
**

**See you on Wednesday for the teaser and Sunday for the update! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

_Love hurts, love scars, love wounds  
And mars, any heart  
Not tough or strong enough  
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain  
Love is like a cloud  
Holds a lot of rain  
Love hurts_

**Nazareth - Love Hurts**

I shot up as a loud bass started playing in the otherwise quiet room.

_Once I ran to you (I ran)  
Now I'll run from you  
This tainted love you've given  
I give you all a boy could give you  
Take my tears and that's not nearly all  
Tainted love  
Tainted love_

My fucking ringtone for Alec. I had to get up and answer, but I was busy settling my heart.

It made me question his reasons for choosing this particular song for the ring tone. Probably to remind me what a hypocrite I was.

_Don't touch me please  
I cannot stand the way you tease  
I love you though you hurt me so  
Now I'm going to pack my things and go  
Touch me baby, tainted love  
Touch me baby, tainted love_

"Make it shut up!" Jasper grunted.

I squinted at him, still sleepy. He'd covered his head with a pillow.

I was amazed I actually spent the night. While he was taking care of my poor ass, I managed to fall asleep. And he didn't wake me to kick me out. It solidified my suspicious—he did love me.

When Marilyn Mason started moaning about tainted love again, I finally rolled out of the bed and looked around for my jeans. He'd thrown them away last night, before that heart-warming gesture.

I spotted my pants at the foot of the bed with my socks still tangled in them. Lucky he'd pulled my boxers back on once he was done.

_Touch me baby, tainted love  
Touch me baby, tainted love_

"Fucking shit, Pretty Boy! Do something."

"I got it. Chill."

Alec's smiling face was flashing on my screen. It made the guilt eat at my stomach.

"Hi," I answered, padding out of the room. Poor Jasper probably had a hangover.

"Hey, baby. Did I wake you?" Alec sounded so excited. It only made me feel worse.

"Kinda. What's up?" I yawned, searching through the kitchen cupboard for coffee, before I pulled a drawer open and took out painkillers. Jasper would need these.

"You'll never believe!"

"Tell me." I started preparing the coffee.

"How about you move your sweet ass down here and see for yourself? I'm parked in front of the house."

In front of the house? Panicked, I looked out the window and saw nothing, then realized he meant my house.

_Fuck_.

Wait, he said parked. Alec didn't have a car. He'd been hitchhiking a ride with either me or Bella since I knew him.

"Parked?" I echoed him in a strained voice.

_Please, God. No. Don't be that cruel._

"Yes!" He squealed. "My parents got me a car! Just come out already."

He was so excited, and I was going to crash his hopes.

"I…uh…look, Alec…last night…"

"Your ass looks delicious in these boxers," Jasper whispered hotly in my ear, hugging me from behind.

For the first time in my life, I wanted to punch Jasper.

Blissfully unaware of my murderous thoughts, he nuzzled my ear, sucking at the lobe.

"Is that mommy? Did she lose you?" he cooed.

I was frozen. I should have covered the mouth piece at least, but I couldn't move.

"Oh, please!" Alec groaned in my ear. "Don't tell me that's Jasper! No. Don't say anything."

He never got angry, but I'd managed the impossible—to anger the most laid back person I had the pleasure of meeting.

"Alec," I protested.

"I heard enough." The dial tone beeped in my ear, making my blood boil.

I whirled around to face a bewildered Jasper. "Thanks a lot, asshole! My boyfriend just broke up with me."

He looked adorable all rumpled up, slightly remorseful and a lot confused. "I'm sorry." I could tell he meant every word.

"Me too. You're not an asshole," I mumbled, looking down.

"I know I am one." He went to pour the coffee. I watched as he added two teaspoons of sugar in mine, the way I loved it. When he spotted the painkillers, his blue eyes found mine, and a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

I slumped in a chair. There was a feeling of emptiness in my stomach and it hurt to breathe.

"I hurt an innocent person. I should have never led Alec on." I stared at my linked hands on the table top.

Jasper placed the coffee mugs on the table and sat opposite me. "Edward, you can still patch things up."

_No, I can't, but you don't understand._ "What about us?" I eyed him. If he said it was a mistake, I'd hang myself.

"Us?"

"Jasper, admit it. You want this. You want me. We can try again. I promise to keep an open mind. You can go out with others, but I want to know when it happens. Also, I want to be able to do it too, without you having a jealous fit."

He gaped at me, holding the mug suspended halfway to his mouth.

"It's not too much to ask, right? Unless you want us to be exclusive?" _Please say yes_. I begged him with my eyes.

"Too much, too fast, too soon."

I stared as he processed my words. I could tell there was a battle inside him.

"So?" I prompted him after five minutes passed in silence. My foot bumped into his ankle, making the dazed look evaporate as he focused on me.

After a gulp of coffee, he fixated me with his eyes. "Against my better judgment, I want this—us. I missed you more than I care to admit."

"You did?" Riley was right.

"A lot, my boy." Jasper grasped my hand across the table. "I want to do it right, this time round. As you said, I might step wrong. Don't hold it against me."

"As long as I'm allowed to fuck around, too." Not like I'd do it, but maybe that way he'd see how it hurt to see me with someone else and realize how I felt when he went to another.

"Don't you have school today?"

Whoa. Change of subject.

"It's a Friday, and unless it changed overnight to an extended weekend day, then yes, I have school."

"Sucks. I don't have to go to work—my free day." He winked, slouching in his seat. He kept his eyes on me as if communicating silently, urging me to stay with him.

"No."

"Sorry?"

"The answer is no. I'm not ditching."

"That's scary, you little freak."

"You had that look on your face. I could tell you wanted to ask me to spend the day with you."

Jasper sighed loudly. "I'll drive you to school. Go, wash, borrow my toothbrush, steal my clothes—just like the good old days."

"If you're going to be like this, I won't even bother trying again." It was a lie, but I had no clue what happened in the past few minutes. He'd switched to cold-hearted Jasper.

"It's my day off. I want to stay in and laze around."

"Do you have anything cool to do around here?" I couldn't believe I was considering ditching, just to stay here with his sorry ass.

He raised an eyebrow, smirking. "I have something to do if you stay—you."

"Promise?" I blurted, turning red. "But I want to talk, too, not only fuck."

"You want to stay? A moment ago you were all for going to school."

"I can be easily persuaded when offered sex." I grinned. "How about we play a game? You give me an orgasm, and I get to ask you a question."

"What do_ I_ get in return?"

"Me. Forever." I smiled sweetly, my heart thundering in my chest.

"Sounds like a good deal. Let me know when we start."

"Now." I stood up, stepped out of my boxers, and went to his side. "Show me your amazing blow job skills."

Jasper chuckled, pushing the mugs away and helping me on top of the table.

We spent the whole day getting reacquainted with the other's body. Jasper stayed true to his promise and answered me a lot of questions. At some point, we even forgot about the game while he was lost in a story about a younger version of him and Peter. As I'd always suspected, his first time was with Peter. They'd never tried again, deciding their friendship was too precious to lose over anything that could break them up as a couple. It was pretty mature thinking for two fifteen year olds.

After the way his family treated him, he decided to never get attached to anyone.

"What about Riley?" I rolled on my side, draping myself on top of him.

"Riley—well, that's a funny story." He combed his fingers through my hair. "I was leaving Rainbow one night, when I bumped into him. He followed me to my car, telling me how much it would cost me to have the best ass on the planet. His words, not mine. I never fuck hustlers, because…they're dirty and pests, yeah."

"They don't have a home. They all have a story. You know that, right?"

"Now I do. There was a time after I met Rile when I picked them off the street and took them to the center. Riley and Pete helped me. Though, they left—the kids, I mean."

"It's sad." I nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. "What about Riley? Did you take him home that night?"

"Against my better judgment, I bathed him and gave him clean clothes. I went to shower quickly, worried he might steal something then take off, but I found him fast asleep in the guest bedroom."

"So you two hit it off? Just like that?"

"Not quite. As you can tell, I'm not used to having someone around. He stayed here for half a year. In the meantime, he got a degree as a hairdresser, and also organized parties for kids at McDonald's."

"I didn't know about the last part." He'd told me about his job when we met, a few months ago, and only because he was horrified by what my barber had done when I had a haircut.

"He was a disaster. One reason he doesn't talk about it."

It was early evening when my phone started ringing, startling us. We were sharing a box of pizza on his bed.

I'd never talked to Jasper so much. He hadn't let out much, but we'd covered varied subjects, from our childhood to the best pizza crust we ever had, and the pros and cons of owning a big car. I'd been thinking of begging Dad to buy me one, which would be only mine. With Alec now having his own car, all my friends had one, except me.

Wiping my greasy hands on my boxers, causing him to throw a handful of napkins at me, I answered the phone.

"School called," Mom snapped before I could greet her.

"Hi, Mom."

"Don't 'Hi, Mom' me, Edward. Where are you? You never miss school. Besides, I saw that Alec kid in front of the house this morning."

"Yeah, uh, something came up." Jeez, stupid school. Why didn't I think they'd call home?

"Are you in trouble?" She sounded worried.

"No. Look, I'm fine. I'll be home later. Don't call the police or anything."

"Aren't you going to tell me where you are?"

Gah! From the uncaring mother, she'd turned into this suffocating mother I couldn't stand. Maybe meeting Alec's parents wasn't the best idea I ever had. The only good thing that came out of that was they accepted me for who I was and didn't ask stupid questions, like when did I decide to be gay.

"We'll talk at home. Bye." I hung up, hoping I wasn't actually in trouble.

Jasper caught my eye, leaning closer to peck my mouth. "I can take you home."

"I don't wanna go," I said petulantly, and I might have pouted. Leaving meant going back to reality and breaking the spell.

"I promise to see you again. Soon."

"How soon?" I had to cling to everything I had.

"If you don't have any plans—"

"I'm free," I blurted before he could finish talking.

Laughing, Jasper flicked my ear. "Learn to listen to the person you're talking to, then agree to them. As I was saying. You and me, tomorrow. I'll pick you up at seven."

"So early? Is Rainbow open at that hour?"

He chuckled, rubbing his thumb over my lips. "I'm taking you out for dinner. Then, if you want, we can go to Rainbow. You seem pretty fond of that club."

"Like a date?" I had to make sure. A date didn't sound like something the Jasper Whitlock I knew would do.

Sighing, he retreated to his side of the bed. "You and your labels. Yes, like a date, so we can give our relationship a shot and maybe try that boyfriend thing." He winked.

My cheeks hurt from smiling so big.

_I love you_! I wanted to shout out, but I didn't want to scare him. "Thank you," I chose to say.

"Thank you?" he echoed, looking amused.

"I'd love that! You're the best!"

"That's more like you. Now, get dressed, before I change my mind and keep you prisoner here."

"Is that a high possibility?" I smirked, shuffling closer and straddling his hips, placing my hands on his neck.

"Don't tempt me, Pretty Boy."

My hand sneaked to the front of his underwear. He twitched in my palm, groaning. I stroked him slowly through the fabric.

"It's not nice to tease."

"I'm not." I shimmied down his body, pushing his boxers down and taking him in my mouth.

Going home could wait.

"Fuck, Pretty Boy. You've gotten better at this."

"Practice makes perfect." I gripped him in my hand, licking him like a lollipop. I tried not to think of the reason why I was better at blow jobs.

An hour later, he parked in front of my house. I was surprised when he joined me at the front of the car.

"I'm saving your pretty little ass. It might hurt, but you'll thank me."

_What's with everyone calling my ass various things?_ Bella called it perky, Alec called it sweet, and Jasper called it pretty.

We held hands as we walked toward my house. The porch light wasn't on, so I fumbled with the keys, alerting my parents I was home. Dad opened the door, and I could tell by the look on his face Jasper wasn't who he expected.

"Good evening, sir. You may not remember me. I'm Jasp—"

"I know who you are," Dad snapped, cutting Jasper's speech off.

It didn't derail him from his track. Jasper started a mind-boggling story about me getting drunk the other night, and how he took me to his house to take care of me. I woke up at noon today, feeling like shit, and he graciously allowed me to nurse my hangover at his place since it was his off day. In the meantime, we'd discussed our past and decided to give our relationship another try.

Then he did the most unexpected thing—he asked my father if we had his blessing to start dating.

Too dazed to think straight probably, Dad agreed.

"I'll go now. Be good, Pretty Boy." Jasper kissed my cheek, looking pleased as he turned to leave.

"What was that?" Dad demanded.

"Damn if I know," I mumbled, staring at the closed door.

"I heard everything!" Mom screeched, barreling down the stairs. "You got drunk! You're still a minor! Do you realize that?"

"So I can fuck Jasper, but I can't drink?"

"Language." Dad raised a hand at me, making me flinch.

Was he seriously going to hit me?

"You're grounded," Mom said. "Until the end of junior year."

"What? No, you can't do that!" I stared at her in horror. "You'd never done it before."

"You never gave me a reason. Now, your schedule will be home—school—home. That's all. Of course, when you have your music lessons, you go there, then straight home."

"Mom, you can't!" Panic bubbled in my chest. I was working things out with Jasper, and being grounded wouldn't help.

"I'm sorry I didn't keep an eye on you all these years. It was wrong of me. Look what happened. You're sleeping with older men and started drinking. Are you smoking, too?"

"It was Alec's birthday," I said lamely. Saying Alec's name felt like a knife being twisted in my gut.

"Go to your room. Now. Listen to your mother."

I stared at Dad, hoping to at least have him on my side, but no. Of course not.

They sided against me, and whatever I said in my defense went unheard.

I stomped to my room, slamming the door after me. I immediately grabbed my phone and called the genius who got me in trouble.

"You said it might hurt. Well, it's worse!" I hissed.

"They're upset?" He sounded amused.

"You ruined everything! We're not going on that stupid date tomorrow, or next week, or for the next two months!"

"I don't get it. You said you wanted to."

"I'm fucking grounded, you idiot!"

"Oh, shit."

"Yeah. I need to hang up before I say something I'll regret."

"I really am sorry, Pretty Boy."

"Yeah, me too. Bye, Jasper."

* * *

**On common accord if you reviews are anything to go by *giggles* I'm going to open an Alec Helpline. "Donations" in my group on facebook. As promised in the answers to your reviews, I will pair him up with someone, but not yet. I'm about 20 chapters ahead of where we are now...and no boyfriend for him in sight. He'll have a HEA, too. Don't worry.  
**

**Now, let me know what you think of the two adorable idiots a.k.a. Jasper and Edward.**

**Oh, and don't get your hopes up too high with Edward's parents.**

**See you on Wednesday for the teaser and review replies, and of course, next Sunday for an update!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Proceed with caution and have tissues around.**

* * *

_Is this the real life?  
Is this just fantasy?  
Caught in a landslide,  
No escape from reality._

**Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody**

I avoided Jasper religiously, because I was a thick-headed teenager.

When I thought everything was going to be alright, he ruined everything by telling my parents that stupid lie about me getting drunk.

Somehow, Alec was still friends with me, being too kind. I didn't deserve his friendship after the way I treated him. He even encouraged me to call Jasper, which made me wonder if he truly loved me as he'd claimed.

On the other hand, Bella was the one upset with me for hurting Alec and acting like a douchebag. Eventually, she forgave me when she realized Alec was cool with the current situation.

At the end of May, I found an opportunity to make money, something I'd wanted for months.

The fair was in town for a whole week. I talked to the manager, and he called me on Monday, right after school ended. He said I could start right away.

"Do you even know what you're doing?" Bella asked, agitated. "Alec, talk some sense into him." She turned to our friend as we walked out of school.

"I'll be fine. He said I'd have my own booth." I rolled my eyes, draping an arm around each of their shoulders. "Don't worry."

"If you're at the balloon shooting thing, let me know." Alec winked.

"Will do. I gotta go now, see you guys later." I planted a kiss on their cheeks, before heading to the fair.

On the way, I called Mom to let her know I got the job, and I'd be home late. She was excited, gushing about how proud she was. It didn't cease to surprise me how much she'd changed.

Besides talking to Alec's mom, she'd improved her parenting skill since Jasper dropped me home that night. It seemed she realized she had a son and started acting like a mother should, or close enough. She'd turned into the nosy kinda mom, and it drove me nuts.

At the fair, I met the manager, a small and almost bald man who reminded me of Danny DeVito. We walked around the aisles for a while, chatting, until he stopped in front of a small, wooden booth with big red lips taped everywhere.

_Please, God. No!_ I really should have asked.

"This is you. One dollar, one kiss."

"Uh, sir…" I felt sick.

He held up his hand. "This is what you get."

"What kind of kiss?"

He raised an eyebrow. "No tongue, so it will be an innocent kiss, a peck."

"Whew!" I sighed in relief.

The manager laughed. "We're not promoting porn. You want that, go to Liberty Ave."

I froze. _Couldn't he have said the park or a dark alley? What the fuck is wrong with people picking on us?_

I had to check if he truly meant it as an insult, or was merely teasing. "As in…"

He eyed me suspiciously, before scrunching his nose. "Figures. You're queer."

"Yeah, so? Does that disqualify me for the job?" _I dare ya!_ I bet Dad could pull some strings and arrest his ass.

I'd reached my limit of homophobic assholes in my life. It was enough I had to endure McCarty and his gang every day at school.

"As long as you are okay with kissing girls, the job is yours."

"What if men ask?"

He shrugged. "Whatever it takes. But no tongue, for Pete's sake!" He turned to walk away, then stopped and glanced back. "If someone wants a real kiss, that costs more and there's no change."

What a fraud. I gaped as he stalked away, muttering.

In my booth, I took my time to look at the others sitting in their own booths, preparing for their more entertaining activities.

I decided to get accustomed with my own space and snooped around. There was a cardboard box at my feet where the money would go, a box of tissues—probably for wiping my mouth after I vomit, and of course, a chair.

I didn't text Bella or Alec. They shouldn't know what I was doing. I'd lie to them and hope they didn't visit the fair. Slim chance, but a guy could dream.

For three days, actually evenings, I managed to keep my job a well-hidden secret.

My friends found out on Wednesday. Bella's face appeared at my booth looking uncertain, but when she saw me, we both froze. While I dunked under the counter, cursing my luck, I could hear her laughing along with Alec. The odds weren't in my favor.

Once my self-confidence returned, I revealed myself. "Which one of you do I have to kiss?"

"I don't have a single, only a five." Bella bit her lip.

"Thank God," I mumbled, grabbing a fistful of Alec's sweater and pulling him closer. I planted a loud smack on his lips, keeping the kiss as short as possible. I didn't want to make things more difficult than they already were.

He swayed on his feet. "I thought I had to pay first. I don't have a dollar, either."

I scowled. "I'll take more."

"More kisses or more money?"

"Both?" I teased. When he made to search in his wallet, I waved him away. "Don't be ridiculous. Go play some shit and bring me the dollar."

"Who says I don't want more kisses? Even though I might be broke by the end of the night."

Bella shook her head. "So, any cute guys visited you? Or have you kissed girls?" She made kissing sounds at me.

"Girls, mostly." I shrugged.

"Told you. Chicks dig nerds."

"But I had a couple of cute guys, too," I added, winking at Alec. He turned red, looking mortified.

_Will I ever learn?_ I never knew when to stop.

Before I could apologize, he shoved a ten at me and grabbed my face.

"I'm outta here!" I heard Bella say, but I wasn't paying attention to her.

I had no idea what Alec and I were doing, but I liked it. I couldn't deny the attraction. Even though Jasper was _the one,_ Alec kept me balanced. Maybe we could really do this relationship thing—Jasper and I. We both needed space; he got his at Rainbow, and I got mine with Alec.

The other day, while at Alec's house, supposedly studying, we got kissing and horizontal. Luckily, his mom called us for dinner, or we might have overstepped the invisible line. Kissing was okay, but sex was definitely a step too far. Especially with Alec, who was my ex for all intent and purpose.

On Saturday, I had to be at the fair the whole day. By seven in the evening, I was sick to my stomach. In the trash at my feet were dozens of tissues with various colors of lipstick on them. I'd been popping mints like crazy, in hopes of getting rid of the fruity smells.

I made a mental note to ask Bella why girls applied lipstick before kissing. Why? I didn't need to feel all sticky and emasculated.

A diversion at the cotton candy booth got my attention, so when someone stopped in front of me, I startled. Looking up, I saw a $100 bill held in front of a man's face, obscuring him.

"There's no change," I warned him. If I got such a huge tip from this guy, it made up for all I had to endure in the past nine hours.

"Don't worry, Pretty Boy. One hundred kisses to make up on the time spent apart, then we'll see where that leads."

_Jasper. Figures_. I lowered the bill, seeing his face, his eyes. God, his eyes. I could drown in them.

Why the fuck did I stay away? Aside from being grounded. Right, it was his fault I was grounded in the first place.

"According to my boss, if you want that kind of service, you should go to Liberty Avenue." I pinched his cheek, squeezing the bill in my other hand.

Jasper rested his elbows on the counter and propped his head in his palms. "I came from there. Boooring. Now, stop stalling, and give me some kisses. Make it worth my while."

"You're a jerk. Besides, I'm not allowed to French you."

"Sucks," he said in a drawling voice.

"I'm afraid that's against the regulations as well."

"Shut up and kiss me, Edward."

I leaned closer, bumping his nose on purpose before kissing him. Fuck, I missed his lips. His stubble scratched me, but I didn't care. Between kisses, he apologized for getting me in trouble at home, and made me promise to never shut him out.

Sadly, we had to stop our making up session. There was a line behind him. Some were gaping at our display, others looked furious. To each their own.

"I'll be around. Call when you're bored." He tapped my nose before leaving, not without throwing a smile at the first girl in line.

I came to realize this was his way—he was a flirt, and he was damn good at it.

Unfortunately, I knew the girl from school and she was one of McCarty's gang. "That was so gross," she mumbled.

_Then why the fuck are you still here?_ "Yeah, well, I didn't have any clients so I thought I'd meet my boyfriend."

She looked frightened and fled without being kissed.

By closing time, I'd earned a lot more than the other nights, but I had to endure a whole day of kissing stinky girls. My lips were sore.

Outside the gates, I could see Jasper leaning against the hood of his car, smoking and staring at his phone. A figure appeared from the darkness scaring the crap out of me. It turned out to be a distraught Alec.

"Hey, sweetie." I took his hand, bringing him closer. I'd never seen him so shaken. It had to be bad. "What's up?" I asked, glancing toward Jasper. He was watching us, his face unreadable.

_Oh, please. Don't make a big deal out of this_, I pleaded silently, turning my attention to Alec.

"You know…my parents are visiting Auntie in Paris?" Alec whimpered. He wrapped his arms around my waist and placed his head on my shoulder.

"You scared of being alone? You can crash at my place. I already told you." I ran a hand over his tense back.

He trembled in my arms. "They should have called hours ago to say they landed. Even Auntie called to ask if I knew anything about them. Their cells are off."

"Alec." I pushed him at arm's length. "Sweets, they're okay. Don't worry."

"No. No. No." He shook his head, bursting in tears.

I was at a loss, having no clue what to do with him. He was usually stronger, but his parents not answering their phones scared him.

Jasper approached us, hands in his pockets and cigarette lolling from the corner of his mouth. His eyes fixated on mine. "Something wrong, Pretty Boy?"

"Oh, no!" Alec pulled away, stumbling over his feet. I steadied him before he could fall. He hastily wiped his tears. "I better go. You're busy, of course."

"Whoa! Where are you going like this?" I locked my hand around his elbow.

"Home?"

"No. You're coming with me. Can you drop us at my house?" I side-eyed Jasper.

He nodded seriously.

We squeezed in the BMW, where Alec had a panic attack that we were going to get caught by the police. He had to sit on my lap since there was no backseat. Thankfully, the ride was short.

As we pulled in front of my house, he had a meltdown about his parents being gone, when Jasper asked what exactly caused him distress. I managed to calm him before getting out of the car. Alec stood next to me with a far-away look.

"I'll call. I'm sorry," I told Jasper over the open window of his car.

"Friends come first, because they're your second family. Take care of him, Pretty Boy." He leaned closer and pecked my mouth.

On the way to the front door, Alec regained his senses. "You made up?" he whispered.

"I don't know. He came to my booth earlier." I unlocked the door, flipped the hallway light on, then toed my shoes off. "I guess we're alone. Let's play cops and try finding out what happened to the plane."

"Huh?" He sniffed, struggling to unzip his jacket. I pushed his hands aside gently before pulling down the zipper and taking off his jacket off him, then led him to the couch.

"We can try finding out if the plane took off, if it landed, or…if it was delayed. The Internet provides all kind of great information, without actually hacking. Not like I wouldn't try my hacking skills if it helped you."

"No."

_No, what?_

I left him curled up on the couch while I retrieved my laptop. He was in the same position when I returned and sat next to him.

Alec moved, snuggled into my side and burrowed his nose in the crook on my neck, washing my shirt in tears.

"It's going to be okay," I said soothingly.

"Can we watch TV? I was afraid to watch the news alone."

"Sure, sweets." I kissed the top of his head and clicked the remote, settling on CNN.

Playing cop had to wait; maybe the news would help.

"I'm scared, Edward."

"Alec, look, I doubt anything awful happened—"

I stopped abruptly when the anchor on TV started talking about the breaking news, about a plane crashing. Alec hugged me tighter when in the corner of the screen appeared a satellite image of a plane fallen in the ocean.

_Holy fuck. What are the chances?_

When the anchor lady said the flight number, Alec started sobbing so hard my heart broke for him.

I knew how much he loved his parents, and that itself made me wonder how I'd have reacted to such news.

I focused on the TV, wishing the lady would say something about survivors, but she went on and on about unofficial causes of the crash—like engine failure, or a fire, or a bird flying into the engine. She explained what we were seeing on the small image in the corner of the screen. The plane had crashed at great speed, and there were parts scattered around a large area of the ocean. It didn't make either of us feel any better when she commented with her co-anchor about the spot where the plane had landed. It appeared to be near the area where Titanic had sunk.

I stroked Alec's back, silently wondering why I didn't tell Jasper to join us. He'd have known what to do. I felt helpless with my friend crying his heart out in my arms.

I realized Mom might know what to do, so I grabbed my phone and dialed her number.

"Sweetheart, I'm extremely busy." _Typical answer._

"Mom, I need you." I'd never said those words to her, not that I could remember, not even when I was younger.

"Are you hurt? Did something happen at the fair?"

"It's Alec. I don't know what to do. _Please_."

Her breath hitched. _Yup, I said please. It is _that_ important._

She exchanged a few hushed words with someone on her side, before saying, "I'll be home soon."

"Thanks."

We hung up, and I was faced once again with my distraught friend. We stayed on the news channel, listening to whatever they found out regarding the crash. Their hypothesis were like science fiction movies. Thankfully, one of the guests brought them back to Earth, reminding them no one would know what actually happened until the black box was found. That could take hours, if not days.

When Mom arrived, she rushed into the living room. "What happened, Edward?"

"Shhh!" I hissed, looking worried at Alec, who'd managed to fall asleep a little while ago.

She eyed the mess of tissues on the coffee table and his tear-stained face, before looking at me confused. She sat in the armchair, glancing at the TV.

"Oh, that's horrible."

I cleared my throat, hugging Alec closer instinctively. "His parents were on that plane," I whispered.

Mom's eyes widened. "Are they…?"

"No idea. The search team arrived a while ago, but after so many hours in the cold ocean…I doubt… Mom, I've never seen him so sad."

"Sweetheart, his parents might be dead. Of course, he's sad." She stared at him with pity.

Alec's phone vibrated on the coffee table. When he didn't stir, I answered it, seeing his aunt's face on the display.

"Hi, Jane."

"Uh, hello?" I could tell she was as distraught as him, and confused of who she was talking with.

"It's Edward. Alec's sleeping."

"Oh, hi, Edward. I didn't recognize you. Are you watching the news?"

"Yeah, I have the TV on CNN. Do you know anything…?"

"No." She sniffed loudly. "Sorry. I'm just… It feels like a bad dream."

I hummed in response, because what the fuck should I tell her?

"How's Alec?" she asked, softly.

"Cried himself to sleep. I have no idea what to do, but my mom's here."

"Can I talk to your mom? Sophie's trying to find tickets so we can come back to the States."

"Sure." I handed Mom the phone, explaining in a few words who Jane was.

It turned out she wanted us to keep Alec over until they arrived. Like I'd leave him out of my sight in his condition.

When Dad returned from his meeting, later that night, Mom and I let him on the news, before I took Alec to my room. I was glad Mom didn't suggest he stay in the guest room.

Sleepy and with tears shining in his vacant eyes, he sat obediently on my bed as I searched for a nice pair of pajamas and clean underwear. Once he was dressed for the night, I left him on the bed while I went to the bathroom.

After changing into my pajamas, I called Jasper. The phone rang for a long time before he answered. My heart was in my throat the longer the phone rang. I couldn't help but wonder if he was _busy_. But then I heard his gruff voice and realized I'd wakened him.

"Hello?"

"Ooops. Sorry."

"It's okay." He yawned loudly. "How's your friend?"

"It's awful," I mumbled. "Did you watch the news?"

"No. Actually, I went back to Rainbow after I dropped you off. It was a bad decision."

"Why?" I was confused. I thought he liked it there. Could that have changed?

"I wish I was deaf."

"Uh…that's random and totally horrible."

"No. You'd wish so too if you were here. Riley was at the bar with the doctor. They were both smashed, and I brought them over."

"And you said you don't have a heart," I teased.

He chuckled. "I don't have a brain, either. Anyway, what was on the news? Did something actually happen to your friend's parents?"

"I think so. The plane crashed in the Atlantic."

"Holy shit! Is he still there?" There was a change in his voice.

"Are you in doctor mode?"

"If he lost his parents, it's very serious, Edward. Such matters affect anyone, especially a teenager. This is a tricky age."

"Thanks?" I half-joked. "As for Alec, he's been crying pretty much since you dropped us home."

"Why didn't you call sooner?" He groaned. "Damn, Pretty Boy. You need to be careful and stay with him the whole time. No matter what."

"Okay. Anything else?"

"When he knows for sure, let me know. The shock might trigger a very serious change in behavior. I want to help. I know I can do it. I once had a patient like your friend, but I failed—he failed. Now, I don't want to scare you, but the guy I'm telling you about was suicidal."

My stomach rolled. "I doubt Alec would do that."

"Edward, this kind of shock can change his life completely. He'll need you more than ever. You need to be by his side and help him."

"Well, of course. He's my best friend. Right now, he's in my room. I'm in my bathroom so we can talk without disturbing him in case he fell asleep."

"Go to him. Call me if you need help."

"Thanks, Jasper. I'm really sorry to bother you with this, but Alec…you know, he's…"

"I know. Besides, it's my job to help kids like him. As for us, we'll talk when we see each other next."

"Alright. I'll let you sleep."

"Ditto."

Unlike the other time, he didn't hang up on me.

"I can hear you breathing," I joked.

"You hang up first."

"Are we in first grade?"

"I'm not, though I'm not sure about you."

"Ha ha! Night, Jasper."

"Good night."

Back in my room, I found Alec still awake, sitting up and hugging his knees, rocking and staring ahead at the wall. I sat and wrapped my arms around him, pressing my cheek against his back.

"Let's sleep, Alec."

"They're dead." His voice was so dull and lifeless, it scared me. It was also the first time he'd talked in hours.

"We don't know that." I kissed the back of his neck.

"I know." He patted his chest, the spot above his heart.

We fell asleep crying, hugging each other. I longed for the search parties to find survivors, and amongst them, Alec's parents. All we had was hope.

* * *

**See you next week? :/ **

**I feel so awful for throwing all these bad things at Alec...**


	13. Chapter 13

_The news that truly shocks is the empty empty page  
While the final rattle rocks its empty empty cage  
And I can't handle this_

_I grieve for you_  
_You leave me_  
_Let it out and move on_  
_Missing what's gone_  
_They say life carries on_  
_They say life carries on and on and on_

**Peter Gabriel – I Grieve**

Next morning, I confronted an extremely difficult problem for the first time in my life.

Over breakfast, Dad told me a job kept me fed and with a roof above my head, and it usually came before family and friends. It was his not so subtle way of sending me to the fair, while Alec was…well, not himself. What Dad wanted me to do was what he did, but I wasn't like him. My friend meant more than that shitty job of kissing people.

I was moments away from calling my boss and letting him know I wouldn't make it, when Alec put his hand on my shoulder. I'd left him sleeping, though it seemed my discussion with Dad woke him up. He looked rested, but his eyes held a lot of grief.

"Don't worry about me, Edward. I'll go home."

Jasper's words from last night rang loudly in my head. "No. You're coming with me. We can talk in my booth."

"That's a good idea. In case there is any news, we'll call," Dad said, showing he did care for my friend.

"I guess, if it's okay with you." Alec eyed me, unsure.

"I invited you."

I managed to keep him distracted for most of the day. I pretended to be coughing whenever anyone approached my booth, and people avoided my little space, allowing me to talk to Alec about anything and everything.

It was going pretty well until six in the evening when he got a phone call from an unknown number. After staring at the screen for a while, he answered. I wished he hadn't.

It was the FBI, who were investigating the plane crash. They had found personal artefacts of his parents', and decided to call and find out what he knew. Obviously, Alec lost himself, stuttering that he had no idea what was going on, and gave me the phone, unable to talk more. I took over, trying hard not to lash out at the special agent on the other end of the line. He told me they'd found ten bodies and would keep us updated when they identified them.

I didn't tell Alec much, because he was already trembling. All I let him know was they'd found some bodies and they were still searching. It affected him greatly. He started gasping, his whole body shaking, his face red, and I had to run over to the popcorn booth and grab a paper bag.

At six thirty, I decided to leave. I could care less for what the manager said. For all I cared, he didn't have to pay me for the day; though he did. He gave me fifty percent, not like it mattered. My friend was more important, despite anything my father said. I'd always choose my friends over school or a job.

Having driven Mom's car to the fair, we hopped in it and I drove to Jasper's. I needed his help.

In front of his house, my heart sank—all the lights were out, but his car was in the driveway. If he had someone over…I hoped he didn't. He'd promised to be better.

"Why are we here?" Alec demanded in a shaky voice. "Take me home. I want to be alone."

"I'm not leaving you alone!"

"I don't want to be in this place," he grumbled.

The front door opened to reveal Jasper dressed for going out, most likely to Rainbow.

I got out of the car, and rushed to him.

"Edward! What a pleasant surprise." He put a hand on my shoulder, kissing my cheek.

"It's not a social visit." I pointed to my car.

Jasper eyed Mom's Volvo with a critical eye. _I know, I don't like it either_, I tried to tell him through my eyes.

"Is that Alec?"

"Yes. The FBI called earlier to inform him they found some bodies and would keep him updated."

"Fucking assholes! Bring him inside. I'd like to talk to him."

"Thanks! You're the best!" I threw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

"Just doing my job, Pretty Boy.

As I coaxed Alec out of the car, Jasper went back inside his house, flipping lights on.

I knew why he didn't want to go into Jasper's house—it brought back bittersweet memories, but I only wanted to know he was safe and mentally prepared for whatever news.

In the living room were soda and crackers on the coffee table, and Jasper was pacing the length of the room, talking to someone on the phone, telling them he wouldn't make it.

"Sorry, I didn't realize you were busy."

"Nah. It was only night out with the guys. By that I mean Pete, since Riley seems to be glued to the doc these days. God, last night was…the worst idea I ever had."

"Maybe he's outgrown the club scene since he's dating the doctor?"

"Uh, remember what I told you last night? They didn't outgrow immature teenagers who are drinking alcohol behind their parents' back. Present people excluded, of course." He winked at me.

Alec stiffened at the mention of parents, which made Jasper drop the playful mood. "Come on, kid. We need to talk." He placed a hand on Alec's back, leading him out the room. When I made to follow, Jasper shook his head. "Not to be rude or anything, but I'd like to talk to him in private."

"I don't need a shrink. I don't even have the money to afford you," Alec spat.

I guessed he couldn't even tolerate Jasper, which made me wonder whether he was still so friendly with me in hopes I'd dump my boyfriend and go back to him. It was insane. Jasper didn't seem to have a problem with Alec.

"Consider it my pro bono case. Come, Alec."

"I don't want to be a social case!" He stomped his foot. Big tears rolled down his cheek, and I was by his side in a flash.

"Sweets, Jasper just wants to help you. You're going to talk about…well, I don't know...he's the shrink. Let him help you. Please, Alec."

His shoulders slumped in defeat. "Fine. Lead the way," he muttered to Jasper.

I got a curious look from my boyfriend, but he didn't comment, he simply pointed to the TV. "Wait here, Pretty Boy."

After half an hour of sitting around and stuffing my face with crackers, I decided to check on them. Alec wasn't in a place where he felt comfortable.

The door of Jasper's study was ajar, and I could hear murmuring and definitely sniffing.

An irrational surge of anger toward Jasper consumed me. He'd upset Alec. He'd made him cry.

I didn't want anyone to cause my friend pain. In that moment, as I peeked through the crack in the door, I realized my true feelings for Alec.

_Could I love two people at the same time?_

Of course, nothing could compare to how I felt about Jasper. He was _my everything -_ the air, the moon and the sun - but Alec was important to me, as well. He'd weaseled his way into my heart and it seemed impossible not to love him.

"You can tell me anything." Jasper's calm voice grabbed my attention.

"Don't act as if you know me! You don't understand how I feel!" Alec snapped.

"Oh, but I do."

I edged closer, and finally had a clear view inside the study. Jasper was sitting on top of his desk, his legs crossed at the knee. Alec wasn't visible, probably sitting in the chair behind the door. I wished I could see him.

"Are your parents dead, too? Did you love them as much as me? How close were you?" Alec fired question after question, his voice quivering.

"I'm the one asking the questions, here, but to answer you—yes. My mom is gone. We weren't exactly close, but I regret not forgiving her for being so narrow-minded. You see, I grew up in Texas. Not exactly a gay friendly environment."

"That's why you moved to Pittsburgh?"

Jasper ignored his question. It was too much information given to a practical stranger, as it was. "I understand you have living relatives. Where are they?"

"Aunt Jane, yes. She's in Paris—where my parents were going." Alec choked on his words, and my heart shattered.

If Jasper didn't show him some respect and continued to push him, twisting the knife, I would have to put my foot down. No one had the right to hurt Alec, not even my boyfriend.

"Is she coming back?" Jasper continued his questionnaire in the same even tone.

"That's the plan. I hope they found a flight."

"They?"

"Auntie and her girlfriend."

Jasper cocked his head to the side, a few locks of golden hair falling in his eyes. My fingers itched to move them away from his beautiful blue eyes.

"Good. You have moral support." He nodded, looking deep in thought.

"I've always had moral support! My family doesn't care I'm gay."

"You don't know how this may affect you. Teenagers who lose their parents so violently are always volatile."

"Stop saying that! They're not dead." Alec shouted so loudly, it made me jump. It also surprised me, considering he'd kept saying they were dead himself.

_Is this the denial stage?_

"How are you so sure? Not so long ago you said they're dead." Jasper took the words right out of my mouth.

"I have something you lack—_faith_."

"If that helps you sleep better at night…" Jasper shrugged as if he didn't care about my friend.

I couldn't take it anymore. _What kind of doctor insults his patient?_

"You're such an asshole!" I barged into his office.

Jasper whipped his head in my direction, his wide eyes staring at me blankly, before he shook his head. "This is a private conversation."

"Really? Conversation? You're bringing him down more than he already is! You're hurting Alec!" I pointed to my friend, curled up in the chair, eyeing me curiously.

"To heal emotionally, he needs to be so low—"

"I'm not suicidal yet, but after a few more sessions with you…we never know," Alec grumbled.

Jasper groaned loudly, running a hand through his hair. "I didn't mean that. If you turn suicidal, I failed at my job." He turned to me. "Edward, you need to leave."

"No, _I_'m leaving. I have nothing to tell you, I don't need a doctor!" Alec spat, standing and coming to me. "Can we go home? To my house?"

"Sure, sweets." I wrapped an arm around his waist, steering him to the door. "I'll take you home. Don't worry."

Only downstairs at the front door, Jasper caught up with us. "Pretty Boy, wait!" He grabbed my elbow. "I want a word with you."

"I'll be quick," I promised Alec, following Jasper into the kitchen. "What?" I folded my arms over my chest.

"Please, be careful. He's very vulnerable."

"I can see that, and you weren't helping!"

"I know what I'm doing better than you. If you need help, you can call me."

"Yeah, sure." _Not in this lifetime. You've already hurt him enough._

When I turned to leave, too angry at him to even look him in the eye, Jasper caught my wrist in a vice grip. I finally met his worried eyes.

"Do you still…feel the same?" he whispered.

"This is not the time to discuss my feelings, Jasper."

He swallowed thickly, squeezing my wrist. "I can see the way you look at him, and your actions speak loud and clear. I'll understand if…if you choose him."

"What the hell?" I frowned. I stepped closer and took his face in my hands. "I still love _you_. It's you who obviously doesn't feel the same since you're sending me to another."

His mouth opened then closed several times, nothing coming out.

I left without looking back. We definitely had a lot to discuss, and we would whenever we found the time, but in that moment, Alec was my top priority.

During the ride to his house, I mulled over my feelings for Jasper and Alec. I came to the conclusion I loved both of them, but was in love with only one. Apparently, that one was too thick-headed to grasp the way I felt for him. I probably needed to catapult myself to get over his walls and make my way into his heart. Jasper was capable of love, I knew as much, I'd seen it, but he'd been hurt by people he once loved and that made him guard his heart. If only he'd understand I'd never hurt him. I loved him too much to harm a hair on his head.

"It's so empty." Alec shuddered as we stepped inside his house.

"Do you really think…" I wasn't sure if I wanted to open that door, to let all his dark thoughts out.

"There is no news, Edward. I can only assume the worst. And next time you talk to your boyfriend, can you tell him thanks, but no thanks? I appreciate the gesture, but I can handle this situation."

"You can?"

"Auntie is coming over. We'll manage."

I could see the brave face he was trying to show, failing miserably when his eyes filled with tears.

"Alec…" I wrapped my arms around him, swaying on spot.

"I want to stay here until Auntie arrives."

I pulled away to look at him and make sure he'd be alright alone.

"I won't kill myself."

"Did I say that?" I snorted. "Though, I'd like you to stay with us until she arrives. Please."

His red-rimmed eyes bored into mine for a long while, until he finally sighed. "Okay. Let me pack a few clothes."

"Thank you." I kissed him soundly, pushing him to the stairs playfully. He gave me a small smile over his shoulder.

While I waited for him, deciding to give him space, I pulled my phone out to find a dozen texts and many missed calls from Bella.

It was late at night, what with everything that happened, but I knew she'd be awake, waiting for my reply.

"Are you okay?" Bella answered promptly.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Alec, not so much."

"I saw the news. Then I tried Alec's phone, then you…no one answered. I got worried."

"Yeah, well…he's not doing well. I'm taking him to my house until his aunt arrives. We're at his house packing a few things now."

"Oh, Edward. It must be awful! Can you tell Alec I'm here for him too?"

"Of course, honey."

"Good. Thanks. I'll see you two at school then."

"Ah, don't remind me." The mere thought of facing school the next day scared the hell out of me. I had no idea how Alec would react.

He returned downstairs when I hung up with Bella. There was a duffle bag over his shoulder and his school bag in his hand. "Done. You sure your parents are okay with this?"

"Definitely." _They aren't that cruel._

"They've changed," he acknowledged.

"All thanks to yours."

A long pause stretched between us as I realized the stupidity of those words. He took my hand, leading me out of the house to the car. We drove in silence.

Whatever had happened to his parents, I was forever grateful to them. I couldn't even imagine how he felt at the moment, but I'd always feel indebted to them. They'd talked to Mom and made her see I was a normal human being, made her understand that asking idiotic questions about my sexuality wouldn't change anything. I was still me, and I'd like to get by without being asked when did I decide to become gay. It wasn't exactly a choice. Dad was still working on coming to terms with me being gay, but I knew he accepted me.

Truthfully, I'd expected worse from them, but Alec's parents were there to stop whatever fracture could have happened in our family. It would have been worse than it already was if they hadn't been guided by someone with experience.

"Come, it's going to be alright," I said softly to Alec, getting out of the car.

As we walked inside my house, I knew whatever happened to my friend, I was ready to face it and be supportive. It was the least I could do.

* * *

**I didn't have time to answer your reviews (been busy with RL), and next week is going to be the same. Just know I read them all and love them all. ;) Promise. I'm really grateful for you, my dear readers.  
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**See you next Sunday. And of course, on Wednesday for the teaser.**


	14. Chapter 14

_Wanna scream out,  
No more hiding,  
Don't be afraid of what's inside!  
Gonna tell ya, you'll be alright,  
In the Aftermath!_

_Anytime anybody pulls you down,_  
_Anytime anybody says you're not allowed,_  
_Just remember you are not alone,_  
_In the Aftermath!_  
_In the Aftermath!_

_Before you break you have to shed your armor!_  
_Take a trip and fall into the glitter!_  
_Tell a stranger that they're beautiful!_  
_So all you feel is love, love!_  
_All you feel is love, love!_

**Adam Lambert – Aftermath**

The end of school brought a depressing cloud above us—by us, I meant me and my friends.

During classes, Alec was distracted enough not to think about his parents, but with summer break around the corner, I feared what could happen.

By the time Jane arrived to the States, the news of no survivors had hit the media. Alec missed a whole week of school, in which I had gone over to his house at the end of every day and talked to him about what Jasper advised me. Since Alec refused to talk to my boyfriend, I was stuck in the middle. I learned a lot about psychology during my phone calls with Jasper, but he helped me with whatever new stage of grief my friend would go through.

I was the only one Alec talked to, which meant we were together most of the time. I spent more time at his place than at my own house. During the weekend, I squeezed some Jasper-time a few hours every Saturday night. We either went to Rainbow or stayed in his house, catching up after a long week of not seeing each other.

As much as I loved Alec, I needed Jasper. The latter seemed to know exactly what I desired every time we met. I even stopped caring our relationship had turned more physical than it ever was—all that mattered was being back in Jasper's arms. After everything I'd done to make him see me as more than a means to an end, it backfired on me. We rarely talked, and the small talk we had was during sex, or right after while we shared a cigarette.

The bell ringing loudly pulled me out of my thoughts. _Right, another school year ended._

Bella threw her arms around me, nearly toppling me over.

"Yay! We're seniors!"

I plastered a smile on my face, and kissed her cheek. "It's been an eventful year." And that was an understatement.

"Yup. Totally. You met Prince Charming."

I nodded, but my mind wasn't on Jasper for once. "I better find Alec." According to Jasper, my friend was somewhere in between anger and depression stage, which was a horrible combination.

"Edward, don't you think it's time to let him—"

I glared, making her shut up. "He only talks to me, and he needs me. Jasper taught me how to act around him."

"Honey, you won't be there for him for the rest of his life," she said patiently.

I led the way out of the classroom, toward the lockers. "Bella, Alec's my best friend. I love him. Of course, I'll be there for him. After the way I treated him, it's the least I can do. I never push him for information like his aunt, or even Jasper. I let him talk when he feels ready, and in between, we occupy the time with meaningless shit like watching movies and talking about music. You know, the usual stuff."

Bella placed her hand on my arm. "We both know that by staying with Alec, you'll lose whatever connection you had with Jasper. Don't ruin your relationship over this. Alec will understand."

At the lockers, I spotted Alec looking the same he'd been since he got the awful news. He was paler than usual, wearing dark jeans, dark shirt and hoodie, and his blue sneakers. His head was always down and he shrunk away from everyone, but if someone as much as touched him, he immediately burst in tears or ran to me. It was becoming difficult to contain my anger at these mindless people. Seriously, they should simply stray clear.

Before I could reach him, a pack of seniors left their class, chatting loudly about being done with school. I tried to make my way through them to get to Alec, but I wasn't quick enough.

McCarty's loud voice sent a chill down my spine. He was talking to Alec. When I broke free from the pack of seniors, I saw Emmett pinning Alec to the lockers, taunting him about being a faggy little orphan, saying his parents couldn't stand him and decided to leave him, and they were probably happier dead than being ashamed of their buttfucking and cocksucking abomination of a son.

My blood boiled in my veins.

Alec had shrunken into the lockers, trembling and weeping under the influx of hurtful words.

With force I had no idea I possessed, I grabbed Emmett's shoulder and turned him around, pulling my fist back and knocking him in the mouth. He looked shocked for a fraction of second, then charged. I swung again, and heard something crack; probably my wrist, since it hurt like a motherfucker. But I didn't care. I was on a mission to beat him to a pulp.

He slammed my back into the row of lockers behind me. I shouted in pain, but his fist in my face hurt more. I could taste blood in my mouth, and I wasn't sure if it was from my broken nose or my tongue. My glasses went flying somewhere.

There were screams around us, but we kept throwing punches blindly. I managed to get a few good strikes in his stomach and face, until Black snatched me back, keeping my arms locked behind me. It was so fucking unfair, and no one even tried to interfere. They only shouted at us to stop.

I kicked my feet in the air in hopes of keeping McCarty away, but that wasn't the case. He looked furious. I tried to coil my body away from the punch, but in vain. His fist connected hard with my stomach, and Black holding me prevented me from doubling over. I tried not to cry, but it hurt so badly.

Before he could kick me again, the principal's voice echoed in the now quiet hallway.

"Explain your behavior, right now!" he demanded, yanking McCarty away by the collar of his shirt.

I leaned against the lockers, bending over and holding my stomach. A hand rested on my back, and I knew it was Alec. Our eyes met for a moment, his wet with tears.

"He started it!" McCarty accused. "He totally jumped me. Ask Jake." He pointed to his friend.

"That's not true!" I hissed, still holding my stomach.

"Oh, please. Shut up. I'm allergic to fags."

_He did not just say that in front of the principal!_ "He was harassing my friend. As you know, sir, Alec has recently lost his parents. He doesn't need McCarty's homophobic insults on top of that."

"Mr. Cullen, did you or did you not throw the first punch?"

"He did." I pointed to Emmett. He looked at me incredulously, and a few brave students sided with him.

"Mr. Cullen," the principal warned me.

"Not the literal punch. It was worse—words hurt more than physical pain. I had to defend my friend, because with all due respect, sir, if we queers don't stand up for ourselves, no one will. Not one of these idiots," I waved my hand around, "jumped to separate us. Especially when Black held me as McCarty's punching bag."

My breathing was heavy, but pride bubbled up in my chest. Even if I was thrown out of school for the fight, I didn't care. I'd stood up for what I believed in, for who I was.

"It's true, sir," Alec said quietly, linking our fingers.

I tried not to grimace in pain.

The principal held my gaze for a while, before he turned to McCarty and Black. "You two, in my office. As for you, Mr. Cullen, well done. Young man, you have a great friend here. Better go to the hospital to have your bruises checked." With that, he turned and marched down the hallway, with the two culprits trudging behind him. I hoped they'd ruined their chances to get into the desired college based on their stupid football scholarship.

As the corridor cleared, the others either eyed me impressed or slightly scared.

"Edward!" Bella appeared, looping one of my arms around her shoulders. I tried not to lean into her, but I needed support besides the lockers behind me. I didn't know if Alec could help. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"Shh." I pressed a finger to her lips. "Let me savor this moment—the principal took our side." A huge smile appeared on my face, and I didn't even care it hurt to smile.

"Don't you know?" Alec mumbled. "It's rumored he's gay."

"That's why he called your parents a few months back? I doubt it." Bella looked at him skeptically.

"If he is, then he's in the closet and too afraid to let anyone know."

"Maybe this little scene opened his eyes." She giggled, elbowing me in the ribs playfully.

I couldn't help a grunt of pain. Her face flashed with worry.

"I'm driving you to the hospital," Alec said.

"I'd help, but I promised my parents to be there after school. You know…they hired me at the store for the summer."

"Nepotism works in your favor," I joked. She winked.

"We'll call you later."

After grabbing our bags, Alec helped me to his car. I couldn't even see, no thanks to that asshole for breaking my glasses. I had what was left of them in my jacket pocket.

"Leaving with a bang has a whole new meaning," Alec mused as we reached his car.

"Yeah, well. Some like to make an awesome entrance, I like to make an awesome exit."

He doubled over in laughter, and I stared at him curiously. It was his first real laugh in weeks. Then I realized his dirty mind was thinking…well, dirty things.

I only rolled my eyes, not having enough energy to do much else. If I wasn't in pain, I'd probably comment, but as it was, I slunk in the car and sat quietly in my seat while he drove to the hospital.

In the ER, I discovered the advantages of being an important person's son. I was treated with so much care, it made me wonder how loved my father was amongst the citizens. The nurses' and doctors' behavior proved they were going to vote for Carlisle Cullen as mayor when the time came.

Lucky or not for me, my parents were out of town once again on business. When I told the nurse I had someone else to take care of me, she didn't insist on calling them. I found it odd, but was relieved.

After she left, Alec looked at me suspiciously. "Auntie will have an aneurism if she sees you. She might punch you too, then hug you."

I rolled my eyes. "No offence, buddy, but I wasn't speaking of your aunt. I meant Jasper."

I stretched on the hospital bed, wincing when various parts of my body protested. I'd been in this room on and off for the past three hours. The doctors had run many tests, but thankfully they didn't find any permanent damage. I had a broken wrist in a cast, a cracked rib—healing, and a mild concussion—which meant no sleeping for longer than a couple hours. I also got a new pair of glasses.

My parents were bound to find out sooner or later, since I'd paid whatever I had to pay with the credit card Dad had given me when I returned home after my few months of freedom with Jasper.

Alec helped me to a better sitting position. He didn't look happy about my decision. "You want to go to Jasper's?"

"Uh, yeah. I won't burden you with this, besides…I miss him." I bit my lip, watching the tears fill his eyes.

_Fuck_. I didn't want to hurt him, but maybe Bella was right. Alec needed to understand I had my own life, which included Jasper. I had to find a balance between the two of them, so I wouldn't hurt anyone.

"Do you want me to call him?" he offered, rubbing his thumb over my cheek.

"Thanks. I'll shut my eyes for a few minutes."

The dull headache and the painkillers made me drowsy. When I arose from a deep sleep, which probably lasted under half an hour, I found Jasper in the chair by the bed. There was no Alec in the room.

"He left," Jasper said softly, getting up and coming to sit next to me on the bed.

"Oh." I felt awful for sending my friend away. "Thanks for coming." I could tell by his clothes a visit to the hospital wasn't in his plans. He looked dressed for Rainbow. Another person's day I managed to ruin.

He smiled, which made me melt. With his help, I got out of the bed, and before I could ask if he'd help me to the bathroom, I was engulfed in his warm embrace, his musky scent filling my nostrils.

"Pretty Boy, never scare me like that," he murmured in my hair.

I could hear and feel his heart beating wildly in his chest. He cared.

"I'm here."

"You were so brave. Alec told me what you did. Brave, but foolish."

"I had to do it." I pulled back a little to look him in the eye. "As I said at school, we gotta stand up for ourselves. No one is ever going to jump and help a fag."

There was raw fear in his blue eyes. "If something happened to you… Please, promise me to never fight again."

"I can't promise that, Jasper. I'll always stand up for what I believe in."

"Look what happened to you, Edward." He touched my cheek with a tentative finger.

"This just shows how much we are hated by society. They'd do this to every gay person on Earth."

He sighed heavily. "Your parents are going to freak."

"Not yet, but in a couple days maybe..."

"I called your mother. They're coming back tomorrow morning."

I gasped, narrowing my eyes at him. "Why would you do that?"

"Because I care about you, Edward. I want you to have a normal relationship with your parents. They've changed a lot, and you should be happy they accept you for who you are."

_All I heard was…_ "You care," I breathed, staring at him dazed.

"I do. More than I should." His voice was filled with emotion, making my heart beat faster.

I kissed him soundly, stifling a sob. This was huge progress. He admitted his feelings to me.

"Let's take you home," he said gently, pulling away.

"Your house?" I almost begged.

"If that's what you want." Jasper smoothed the hair out of my eyes, pressing his lips to my bruised brow. "We can watch movies, talk, eat, do anything you want."

I felt like a baby. Mom used to say the exact same thing after I had blood drawn as a child or after a visit to the doctor when I was sick.

I decided to make light of his suggestion. "Fuck like bunnies?"

He pursed his lips tightly, trying not to smile. "Afraid that's impossible. The doc said no. I asked." He winked.

"You're so bad! Ow. I can't laugh." I grabbed my side.

"I was curious." Jasper shrugged, eyeing my hand placed over my cracked rib. He chose not to comment on it, thankfully.

"Fries and my favorite TV show it is," I declared, grinning.

"Not any of those silly, teenage high school relationships with supernatural beings, right?" He checked, looking horrified.

"Do I look like Bella to you?"

Chuckling, he shook his head. "Not at all. It's just that you kids dig that shit."

"Not me. I like my superheroes to be in mature relationships."

The allusion wasn't lost on either of us, but Jasper offered to help me prepare for discharge.

Knowing I was spending quality time with my boyfriend made me forget about my bruises. Everything was going to be okay as long as I had him by my side.

On the way to his house, I planned out my summer. I had almost three months to work on balancing my relationship with Jasper and my friendship with Alec, spending all my free time with Jasper, which I hoped he wouldn't mind, and I'd do my best to crack his walls. I knew I could reach his heart; he'd already opened up to me a lot since we met.

* * *

**I want to thank you all for reviewing. I hope to find some time to answer this week.  
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**For anyone interested, I wrote a one-shot for Queer as Folk. It's on my profile. **

**See you on Wednesday for the teaser and next Sunday for an update!**


	15. Chapter 15

_I used to think maybe you loved me, now I know that it's true  
And I don't want to spend my whole life just a-waiting for you  
Now, I don't want you back for the weekend, not back for a day, no, no, no  
I said, baby, I just want you back, and I want you to stay_

_Oh, yeah, now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa_  
_I'm walking on sunshine, whoa_  
_I'm walking on sunshine, whoa_  
_And don't it feel good_

**Katarina and The Waves – Walking on Sunshine**

At Jasper's house, we put on a movie, but didn't get to watch much of it. The power went out twenty minutes later.

Jasper tracked down some candles, and we moved the quarters to his room.

"I feel like when I was younger. Pete and I used to make forts all the time…and made out like teenagers." I could tell he was smiling by the tone of his voice.

"Well, we have popcorn." I placed the bowl on the bed, throwing myself on the bed in front of Jasper.

He flipped the flashlight on, pointing it at his face. "And you have creepy stories to tell me."

"I do?" I frowned, placing a hand over the light.

He switched it off, but I could see the serious look on his face from the glow of the candles on the nightstands.

"Tell me exactly what happened between you and that guy."

"I thought we were over that. Alec and I are just friends." _Way to ruin the night. Make me talk about the awkward relationship I have with Alec._

He rolled his eyes. "I was talking about the dude who hurt you!"

_Oh_. I could feel a blush rising to my cheeks. Luckily, he didn't notice.

"Tell me," he insisted. "I want to hear it from you. Alec portrayed you as a hero when he told me what happened."

I smiled widely. "I felt like the hero."

"What kind of hero gets his ass kicked?" He pushed a finger against my shoulder.

I threw a kernel of popcorn at him, which he picked off his shirt and popped it in his mouth.

"Even Spiderman and Batman got their ass kicked. Cut me some slack. It was my first time doing anything like that."

"And the last," Jasper said seriously. "I meant what I said about you getting hurt. Don't ruin your pretty face. It's not worth it."

"What do you do?" I blurted. The way he talked about all this, so nonchalantly, didn't sit right with me.

"Sorry. Are you experiencing amnesia, too? I'm not playing doctor, if that's what you mean."

I met his eyes, two glowing jewels in the semi-dark room. He was so beautiful, it hurt to look at him. "I meant…What I wanted to say, is what do you do when you or one of your friends is attacked the way Alec was. Do you just stand there and accept whatever insult they throw at you? Or do you turn your back and run the other way like a coward?"

His eyebrows shot up. "What got into you, Edward?"

"Just answer," I demanded.

He lifted one shoulder and popped a few more kernels of popcorn in his mouth, all the while studying my face. "I usually ignore them. It's easier."

"I saw. At the hospital, when Riley was sick. If it wasn't for me, you'd have gone with what Garrett said."

"The hospital's rule. As for you, I get it. It hurts worse when someone says bad shit about your friends, rather than you. Even I know what that means—_love_." He mouthed the word, staring right into my eyes.

"You mean Riley?" I decided to play dumb.

"Riley, because let's face it, there's no gayer person than him on earth. Pete. You…" He closed his eyes. "Diego."

"Diego?" I repeated, confused.

_Who the hell is Diego?_ I'd never heard of him.

Jasper took a deep breath, before lying on his back, and turned his head toward me. By the look on his face, I expected a dramatic story. At least, the walls were breaking a little. I was going to have a peek inside Jasper's life.

"I left Texas for more reasons than my parents refusing to understand me."

I reached over and linked our fingers across his stomach. He tugged me closer until I was lying on top of him, with my head on his shoulder.

"You can't fathom how old families are like down in Texas." His southern drawl was heavier than ever when he spoke of home. "They're against gay, like normal people are against…war, or killing elephants. Yeah, bad comparison, but you get the idea."

"I get it."

"No offence, Pretty Boy, you don't, but it's okay. Pete and I, we knew we were different. We kept the secret for as long as possible. One day, a widow crossed the border from Mexico to us. She had a son around our age."

"You became friends."

"Yeah. Our small town welcomed them, protecting them when the police came searching for illegal immigrants. It was the most action we got there. Pete got closer to Diego, and they became tight. Tight like you and Alec. I was happy for my friend."

_Why not tight like us? Right, because we're not tight. I doubt we're even friends._

"What went wrong?" I glanced at him in time to see his jaw clenching.

"Someone saw them holding hands. It was summer. Pete had a baseball cap on his head, so they only recognized Diego. Everyone started harassing him. We were too chicken to do anything, until my own father brought that up over dinner one night. He wanted me to stay away from the Mexican buttfucker. I told him I was one too, and he backhanded me, telling me to not even joke about it.

"After that, I made sure to be seen by my parents around Pete and Diego. I always touched them when we were together. I wanted to show them, instead of actually sitting down and having a conversation, which might have hurt. Dad could literally beat me into a plum."

"You were scared."

"I was your age, Edward. My behavior was unacceptable. Look at you being all brave. First, you stood up for me, helping me see Rile when you didn't know him at all, then you stood up for your friend and got beaten up. I'll never have that courage."

Admitting that was huge—for him, or anyone.

"So what happened to Diego? Don't tell me they killed him."

"No, but the people in town managed to send him and his mom back to their country. I haven't heard from him since."

"That's sick."

"Once high school ended, Pete and I left, but not before coming out to our parents. That's probably the bravest thing I've ever done. Dad gave me a good beating, and Mom said she was disgusted by me."

I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly. "I'm so sorry, Jasper. I feel like an idiot for whining about my life when you had it so much tougher. My parents are…accepting me—it took a while, but they're getting there. Alec's parents and you helped. You opened their eyes."

He stroked the tips of his fingers over my back. "I want you to have a chance for a better life and not to make the same mistakes as me."

"Not to say I want to copy you, but once I graduate, I'm going to New York. If I get in to Juilliard."

"You will. Speaking of… Didn't you get an invitation to play for Pittsburgh Opera? What happened? Did they change their mind?"

"I never called," I mumbled into his t-shirt.

"You're a freaking idiot!"

I bit my lip, not saying anything. Maybe I was an idiot.

"You're going to call them in the morning and ask if the offer still stands," he demanded, tilting my head so I could see how serious he was.

"I'm scared. It's the fucking opera, Jasper. What if I mess up during a big event?"

"Edward, you'll do amazing. I want to buy tickets to your own show."

"You do?"

"Of course." Jasper pecked my mouth, smiling.

I burrowed my face in his neck, closing my eyes. "Thank you."

That night's sleep was the best I had in a while. Waking up in Jasper's arms was even better.

He usually was out of bed by the time I got up—not today.

During the night, we'd shifted so he was spooning me. I loved being encased in his arms, and his morning wood was definitely a bonus, digging in my ass. I wiggled my butt, earning a low groan from him. It encouraged me to do it again.

"Edward, what in God's name are you doing?" he muttered into my neck.

_Ooops?_ "I…I thought…since you're _up_, and I'm _up_…maybe we could…"

"I'm not up. We barely got any sleep."

"What do you mean?" I picked his hand from my hip and fiddled with his fingers.

"You seriously don't remember me waking you up every hour? You opened your eyes and rolled on your other side, mumbling something."

"I did?" I couldn't remember anything.

Jasper leaned over me, his blond bangs falling into my eyes as he pressed his cheek against mine. "What happened yesterday, Pretty Boy?"

"Yesterday? Dude, I just woke up from the best night's sleep I've had in weeks. Let me bask in the moment."

"_Dude_, I'm making sure you're not suffering from amnesia."

I caught his eye as he pushed me on my back. He widened his eyes, urging me to answer.

"So, yesterday. What happened?"

I frowned, trying to search through my foggy brain for the wanted memory. It was out of reach—I could tell it was important, but I was too tired to think.

"Edward?" Jasper took my face between his hands. "Pretty Boy?"

My eyes widened when I remembered school was finally over for the summer.

"Last day of school!" I grinned.

"Anything else?" He looked anxious.

"Uh, I was worried about Alec…Alec!" I choked out. "I hit McCarty. Did that actually happen?"

He breathed a sigh of relief, before smiling. "I was told you were pretty awesome."

"He hit me, too. I was in the hospital. You called Mom, which I hate you for, then we came here…"

"Good. You scared me there for a second." He kissed me quickly.

"Sorry, but my brain shuts down with the end of school—hibernation time."

Jasper chuckled, pinching my nose. "Interesting. Anyway, your doc said no to sex, so we better get breakfast—out of the house, in public where I won't be tempted to jump you."

"Aw, but I feel fine, and since when are you against public sex?"

"Edward, no."

Rolling my eyes, I pushed him off me, ignoring my painful erection. Who'd have thought I'd see the day when Jasper cockblocked me? Not me.

"There's a diner across from Bella's parents' store. We used to go there a lot as kids."

"Not anymore?"

"Uh, no." I tried to hide my red cheeks, but he noticed.

"Hot waiter?"

"Actually, hot customers. You see, the diner…it's on Liberty Avenue. Heck, I even stopped joining Bella when she visited her parents."

"Aw, poor baby." He grasped my chin. "Do they know?"

"Her parents? They suspect, I think."

"Let's go to that diner. What store do they own? I might need to do some grocery shopping."

"How much do you hate me?"

"I can't hate you, Pretty Boy. One reason I want this is to get out of the house. I guess tonight we can do whatever you want, but until then…we need to take it easy."

"Since when do you follow the rules?"

"Since always," he answered honestly.

"I'm the exception to your little rule," I reminded him in a singing voice, tracing a finger over his chest.

"Not in this case. Not when your health is at risk."

I poked him. He laughed.

**OoO**

The diner had a few customers when we stepped in about an hour later. I tried not to gawk as Jasper led the way to a booth in the back.

I sat facing Jasper and the wall behind him, keeping my back to everyone else. Jasper had a different idea.

He plopped down, resting his elbow on the back seat, and pointed to the spot next to him. "Now," he mouthed, making butterflies erupt in my stomach.

Cuddling with him in a public place was my dream come true, but not here. This place was swimming with a lot of hot guys, and I was still new to being out and sexually active. I had eyes, and I couldn't look away. My dick liked everything I saw.

It was embarrassing.

Despite my better judgment, I sat next to Jasper.

Tanya, the waitress who'd worked there since forever, came to our table, handing us the menus. I stared at her amused, wondering when she was going to recognize me.

It took her only thirty seconds to gasp and hug me. "Edward! Oh, gosh! It's you! I haven't seen you in ages! My, you grew up!"

Same exuberant, crazy Tanya. "Hi." I grinned.

She noticed the way Jasper was holding me, tucked into his side.

"Oh, you guys on a date? We have a special breakfast offer for cute couples."

I glared, knowing she made that up.

I was about to say she should save the fake special offer for an actual couple, when Jasper did the unexpected. He took my hand, intertwining our fingers and smiling at Tanya.

"We'll have that, and a coffee for me."

"Me too," I said automatically, still shocked.

"Juice for the kid," Jasper teased. He brought my hand to his mouth and kissed the top of it.

_The fuck happened to him?_ "Are you serious?"

"Coffee doesn't mix well with your painkillers."

"She won't put whiskey in it!"

"Just bring him OJ," he told Tanya, who was gaping at our interaction.

"Okeydokey." She left with a promise to be back quickly.

I kicked Jasper under the table. He grabbed his leg, throwing me a glare.

"What the fuck was that for?"

"You _know_. You're such an asshole sometimes."

"I'm looking out for you." He tapped my nose.

"You're treating me like a child," I hissed, blinking away the sudden influx of tears.

Jasper grabbed a fistful of my shirt, pulling me closer and kissing me _that_ way—making my heart double in speed and my toes curl. A hole appeared in my stomach and my bones became jelly.

"I'm only looking out for you, Pretty Boy. Trust me, when I look at you, I don't see a child. I never did."

"What do you see?" I whispered, staring hypnotized into his eyes.

"I see a strong, brave, beautiful young man. A selfish guy who would risk his well-being for his friends. An amazing person—inside out."

"You mean that?" I choked on my words.

Cupping my cheek, he nodded, leaning closer and nudging my nose with his. "You're very important to me, Edward."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, allowing the tears to fall.

Jasper just told me he loved me.

Well, not in so many words, but he did. I could bet he wasn't even aware of how much meaning his words held.

We had a slightly uneventful breakfast, where I tried to keep my eyes on my plate, but failed miserably; especially when a really cute guy came over asking for the salt shaker. He was all smiles, and I pushed it blindly to him. Still smiling, he said he wanted the salt, not pepper. I felt like an idiot, and stuttered an apology. A jealous Jasper gave the salt shaker a shove so violently he spilled most of it on the table. The other guy gasped dramatically, talking about bad luck, before picking the shaker and promising to return it. I stared after his perfect ass, as an awkward tension settled between us.

Bella bursting into the diner and rushing to our table broke the bad spell.

"I saw you through the window, and was like, no way! That can't be Edward!"

"Is this the bad luck?" Jasper mumbled in a bored voice. "Are we totally cursed to never have a peaceful date?"

"You're on a date?" Bella stared in shock, then turned furious. "Here? At this shitty diner? Surely, you have the money for fine restaurants, doc!"

"I thought she liked me," he whispered.

"Me too," I whispered back, before turning to smile at Bella. "We were going to drop by the store after breakfast. Don't be mad at him, I'm not exactly luxurious restaurants material."

"Exactly what I said earlier." Jasper chuckled, elbowing me in the ribs, gently.

"Yup. That's me—selfless, humble, and very passionate about what I know is right."

"Oh, I know." He touched my jaw, which was still sore and purple from Emmett's fist.

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**I've been slacking with answering reviews :( I hope to find the time and answer this time round. I enjoy reading your thoughts on what's going on.  
**

**See you next week! ;)**


	16. Chapter 16

_When you hold me  
In your arms so tight  
You let me know  
Everything's alright_

_I'm hooked on a feeling  
I'm high on believing  
That you're in love with me_

**Vonda Shepard – Hooked On A Feeling**

"This is useless," I grumbled, tossing the book away.

"I promise I'll be done in a few minutes," Jasper said for the seventh time in the past hour.

I was slouched in his plush chair at the clinic, while he was swamped in paperwork.

I even had the pleasure of meeting Alice, which was odd. It felt like I already knew her from Jasper's stories. She was a living ball of energy, who praised Jasper's opinion about anything.

Unfortunately, all that happened on _our_ day—the day Jasper promised we'd spend together, alone. The dream was over when Alice called about some patient and how she needed Jasper's help. We ended up at the clinic, and that was where we'd been since. The whole day was gone.

I was tired of sitting around, playing on my phone, talking through texts with Bella and Alec, looking over Jasper's medical books—it was boring as hell.

"All done, Pretty Boy!" Jasper beamed at me five minute later.

"Are you sure? You won't get another phone call or more papers from Alice?" I bit my lip, and straightened up in the chair. My back cracked loudly, making me groan and Jasper laugh.

"Done. I promise."

He shut down his computer, and walked to me, holding out his hand. "Come."

I smiled, taking his hand. He pulled me against his chest, kissing me soundly.

We'd become closer since I was on summer break and spent most of my time with him. My parents were gone a lot, preparing Dad's campaign. During the day, I usually visited either Bella or Alec, then in the evening, I met with Jasper.

"Where are we going?" I wondered as he pulled me out of the clinic.

"Anywhere you want. I'd like dinner before anything else."

"Dinner sounds awesome. You want to come to by my place? I'm sure Zafrina cooked something delicious."

He grinned, putting his arm on my shoulder.

At home, I found a note on the fridge about food on the counter and my parents having called to say they were going to be late, and should be home around nine. It was close to seven, so we didn't have to worry about them, yet.

They knew I was seeing Jasper, but acted as if it wasn't real. My guess was they didn't agree with our relationship because of his age, because they never had a problem with Alec, besides the fact that he was gay…like me. Though, Mom seemed to be over the fact I was queer, she kept asking about Alec, hoping I'd go back to him—someone my age.

"Movie?" I offered, plating spinach and eggs. Good thing Zafrina left them on the warming plate.

"I choose," Jasper declared.

"I doubt you'll like any. I have lots of chick flicks. You know, Bella's fault."

"Some are decent, besides, I prefer to call them romantic movies."

I sat on my bed while Jasper browsed through my DVD collection. He really had an amazing ass.

"How about this?" He turned to face me, holding something behind him.

"I'm sure it's okay, whatever you chose…I've seen them all."

He smiled sheepishly, showing me a sheet of music.

It was the one with the melody I composed thinking of him. Seeing the expectant look on his face, I turned red.

"That's not a movie."

"It has my name on it. Were you doodling during your lessons?"

I rolled my eyes. "Like violin classes require a pencil. No." I scrunched my nose, hoping he'd drop it.

"Then why is my name on it? It won't surprise me if some big guy wrote a piece with my name. Only last year Alice told me there's a stone with my name," he said amused.

"That's right! Jasper, I know." I chuckled.

"So?" He flicked his wrist, shuffling the sheets of music.

"Yeah, there's a composition with your name." Maybe this way he'd realize how much I loved him.

"Who wrote it?" He looked genuinely curious.

Looking down into my lap, I mumbled, "Me."

"Sorry?" Jasper tilted my head with a finger under my chin. "You?"

"Me, yes. I wrote it a while ago. You inspired me."

"I did? Wait, back up." He knuckled his forehead, squinting at me. "You wrote a song…inspired by me."

"In a nutshell." I lifted a shoulder, smiling shyly. "Is it okay?"

He looked incredulous. "You're a fucking prodigy. Seriously. Why haven't you called the opera house, yet? I'll do it for you, and give you a swift kick in your bubble butt if you don't go."

"I can feel the love," I joked.

I'd kept dodging the opera house issue for months, but not anymore. Truth be told, it terrified me. I was in seventh heaven when I found out about their proposal, but after giving it some thought, I realized how scared I was of taking that step.

"What's wrong, Pretty Boy?" Jasper stepped between my legs, taking my face between his hands.

"I'm not ready. I'm scared, Jasper."

"It's fear of the new, the unknown. You have to be sure of yourself and believe in your talent. Everything else will work out on its own."

"How do you know that?"

"I'm paid a lot of money to say the same thing to many people who don't really understand it or will never overcome their fears. I believe in you, Edward. Call them. You'll see it's not so scary when you meet them."

I took one of his hands and squeezed. "If I mess up on the stage, it's not something I can stop and start over."

"Why don't you think of being awesome, because you are. Imagine your triumph, not your failure. That's a true artist's greatest fear—they're not good enough, they'll be horrible out there." He placed one hand on my neck, keeping my head turned up to look into my eyes. "Well, let me tell you, in any job you choose to do, there's no stop and start over. There's only going on like it didn't happen, keeping your head held high, assuming your mistakes, and learning from them."

"Huh. You're good at this." I winked.

He leaned closer, kissing me softly. "I nearly lost it my first time."

I frowned, not sure what he was talking about. "Lost what?"

"My faith in myself. Alice's dad gave me one of his patients. I couldn't help the guy at all. He left in tears after our session, and I rushed to Dr. Brandon and told him I couldn't do it."

"Did he tell you what you just told me?"

"No. He told me I wasn't cut out to be a psychologist and I should go home and start thinking of a new career."

"What a cruel thing to say!"

"It was like a bucket of ice over my head. After so many years of studying, I couldn't give it all up. Before I figured out my next move, I went to the recently discovered Rainbow. My intention to drink myself stupid evaporated when I found my patient at the bar. He was nursing a beer. We got talking, and maybe it was the location or the effects of the alcohol, but we discussed more than at the office. He even thanked me at the end of the night, admitting I had managed to pull him out of the darkness."

"Wow. That's…not very orthodox."

"Helping him gave me so much courage; I went back to the clinic the next day and told Dr. Brandon I wanted my own clients, including Larry."

"The guy you helped?"

"Yes. Dr. Brandon clapped me on the back and said he had faith in me and knew I wouldn't give it up."

I nodded in understanding. "You have the same kind of faith in me."

"Absolutely. I heard you rehearsing violin when you lived with me. I heard you playing the piano at the recital."

I gulped thickly, my palms becoming sweaty. "Want to hear it?" I gestured to the sheet of music in his hand.

"Please."

Jasper sat dutifully next to me on the bed, crossing his legs at the knee.

I took my time picking up my fiddle, tuning it, propping it against my shoulder, before I actually started playing.

"Don't you need these?" He interrupted, waving the papers in front of me.

"I wrote it. Of course, I don't need them. Now be quiet."

He zipped his lips, making me laugh. Playful Jasper was one of my favorite sides of him, aside from horny Jasper.

The melody poured out of me like the first time. I usually had my eyes closed while I played, and Mr. Brown chided me all the time. This time, I couldn't shut them. Jasper's azure gaze kept me trapped. There were different emotions playing on his face, but awe and pride seemed to be the strongest.

Halfway through the piece, I took a wrong note and cringed, but it was his fault. No one had ever stared at me like that when I was playing. It was intimidating, and it made me self-conscious of the smallest mistake.

Somehow, I continued playing as if it hadn't happened. When I was finished, I turned around and placed the violin on my desk. It also gave me time to recover after the intense staring contest.

"Edward!" He choked.

The next second, I was in his arms—my back to his chest, and his nose buried in my hair as he breathed harshly against my ear. I stood there, frozen, unsure what to do with this sentimental Jasper. I was used to many faces of Jasper's, but not this one.

"Did I suck?" I broke the silence.

Jasper turned me into his arms. I noticed his eyes were wet.

Holy shit. I made him cry.

I had no idea how to feel. Was it a good thing? A bad thing?

"Edward—Pretty Boy, no one has ever done anything so special for me. I absolutely loved it. You were fabulous, and you're a _fool_ for thinking you sucked. You're human, it's normal to make mistakes."

A knot formed in my throat at his words. "I'll call the opera house."

"Wise decision. Now, come here." He hooked his fingers in the loops of my jeans. "How long until your parents are home?"

"Another hour or so. Maybe. No idea."

"Not enough time to thank you." He nuzzled my jaw.

"We can go to Rainbow, then to your place?" I suggested, wanting nothing more than to end up horizontal with him by the end of the night.

"Better yet, we can go somewhere to eat—the food's cold by now." He pointed to the bed. "Besides, I want to take you out."

My heart jumped in my throat. "Then ask me nicely."

He gave me an amused look that said "Are we really doing this?" Then he sighed, grabbing my hand with a flourish movement.

"Would you like to go on a date with me, Pretty Boy?"

"Yup." I beamed.

"After all the trouble I've gone through…you say 'Yup'? You're crazy, kiddo."

I gasped in mock-horror. He smirked, kissing me soundly.

* * *

**Since I didn't have time (again) to answer your reviews, and most of you are concerned about similar things, here it is.  
**

**Trust Jasper, he IS changing. As for the story resembling a soap opera...it kind of is inspired by the tv show. Of course it's twisted and crazy. (like me)**

**If you didn't see my teaser on Wednesday, this is what Edward played for Jasper: Kurenai Otoya Violin Love Song (search it on youtube. ffn doesn't allow links here)**

**See you next week! And I hope you all are warming up to Jasper. He's not that bad.**


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